Dealing With Rejection In The Church (Part 2)

Rejection Poster 2

“A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success”- Bo Bennett

Below are a few points on dealing with rejection in the church;

1.Understand that rejection is redirection and relocation to your new place of purpose and destiny- Joseph’s brothers rejected him and that rejection led him to the pit which ushered him to Pharaoh’s palace.

2. Sometimes God will allow rejection to happen to redirect your focus to God as your only source.

3. When rejection happens in the church (the people), it is an indication that what you are carrying is far too big for the reject-er to handle. Healing from rejection starts when you realise that the same people who have rejected you may  have also been rejected.

4. Healing begins when you start to experience the unconditional love of God through His word and worship.

5. Healing begins when you accept the rejection- accepting that the rejection has taken starts the healing process and you will start to see that  the issue does not lie with you but the issue lies with the reject-er. Please note that acceptance of the rejection is different to reacting to the rejection.

6. Healing from rejection within the church starts when you stop reacting to it- my mentor said to me a few years ago that rejection is not valid if you are chasing the person who has and is rejecting you- it is when you keep reacting to their rejection- that is when the pain of rejection is birthed .

7. Accept that the person does not have the capacity to love you- they cannot give you what they do not have and that is when you will get the power to love again.

8. Understand that the church (the people) is not perfect. Everyone is wounded and hurt in some type of way. The Church is like a hospital, everyone who visits the hospital has an ailment and it is the same with the church, everyone who attends has an ailment in their spirit, soul and body and have come to see the chief physician which is Jesus Christ for their healing.

9. Disappointment in the form of rejection happens when you place unrealistic expectations on others and when you are looking for approval from people instead of God; no one can love you or accept you like God can.

10. Remember that you have been rejected for a purpose and that Jesus loves you.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

 

 

 

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Dealing With Rejection In The Church (Part 1)

For the past few weeks I have been writing on rejection, what it is, the characteristics of rejection, fear of rejection and self rejection. I wrote on the fact that when rejection happens, it is because the environment that you are looking to for acceptance is incapable of handling the greatness that is on the inside of you.

I would like to focus on rejection in the church. There are so many wounded souls within the church and there are so many who have left the church because they have been rejected by leaders and others who have been set to watch over and protect them. I am writing this blog to all those who have suffered rejection in the one place that you expected to be accepted- The Church.

So who and what is The Church?

The Church is commonly defined as a building used for public worship; many people refer to the church as an organisation- but the word church in the bible comes from the Greek word Ecclesia which means a called out company or assembly- whenever the word church is used in the bible, it is referring to people- 1 Corinthians 1v2. So when I am talking about being rejected in the church, I am talking about being rejected by the people who are the church not God- you see Jesus’ love for you is unconditional and nothing that you do could ever make God reject you or stop loving you.  One thing that helped my healing process from rejection was that;

The Rejecter has also been rejected

I see a cycle within the body of Christ, there are so many leaders who have been rejected by their spiritual fathers, that has created this vicious cycle of rejection. What we have are rejected spiritual sons and daughters turning into spiritual mothers and fathers who are now rejecting their spiritual sons and daughters. It takes a level of maturity and getting into a place of revelation to see the spirit behind rejection within the church. The result of this type of rejection is that there are spiritual sons and daughters who have and are still walking around not understanding their identity and looking to other spiritual fathers/mothers for the spiritual validation that should have been given to them by their spiritual fathers.

Solution

The solution to this is seeking God and discovering what God is saying about you- your identity and purpose is found in God and oftentimes, I believe that God will purposely hide your call and assignment from the man of God. I am not saying this is always the case because the man of God is set to guide, guard and protect you. However, God does not always reveal everything to the man of God concerning you. I experienced this is in my personal life, I could not understand why my spiritual father at the time could not see what God was telling me about my purpose and destiny- my purpose got so intense that I could barely sleep or eat. I had to step outside of the boat and with that decision came rejection.

Was I upset? yes, I was on the verge of bitterness especially when I had dealt with my natural father not being in my life throughout my teenage years but in my metamorphosis process, God began to show me that rejection meant redirection and where I was positioned at the time, my environment could no longer accommodate the greatness that I was carrying on the inside of me. I started to love and appreciate my leaders from my past as, if they had accepted me and approved of me, I would have remained in the same place; I recognised that my leaders may have also experienced rejection at some point in their lives and may not have noticed that they were passing on the same treatment. I started seeing God’s hand in the rejection. The rejection was just a vehicle that was transporting me to my place of purpose and destiny.

God bless you and thank you for reading 

 

The Fear Of Rejection 

  

Last week I wrote about what rejection is and the different forms of rejection. I dealt with the fact that when a person accepts the wound of rejection in their lives, it generates the fear of rejection and self rejection. In this article, I will be  dealing with the characteristics of the fear of rejection.

When a person is wounded by rejection, they recoil at the prospect of being wounded again. The characteristics of the fear of rejection are as follows;

  • Anger

Anger always follows closely behind fear. When a person accepts rejection, they become dependent upon anger as it becomes an excellent barrier to protect them from future rejection of others. This was something I struggled with for years, when I just migrated from Jamaica especially after I was sexually assaulted at the age of 12, I had outbursts of anger, I always got in major arguments on the estate I lived on, and there were times I was close to getting into physical fights. I never fought the girls it was the guys that I went after. When someone would upset me I created a movie in my mind as to how I would make them pay. The metamorphosis that I have just been through took care of the anger that I carried for so many years, God gave me the opportunity to exchange my pain with His peace and love.

  • Hardness

Hardness is another defence mechanism that keeps people away. It’s this “I can do bad all by myself” attitude but deep down inside there is a cry for someone to love you. I experienced this and it took the circumstances of life to bring me to a place of surrender and my prayer became that of Ezekiel 36:26-27. I started asking God to give me a new heart and a new spirit and this is where God started the process of healing.

  • Bitterness

This is where you get bitter  about the situation in which you were wounded. Anger left unattended will start to generate a root of bitterness.

  • Rebellion

Rebellion is an outward expression caused by an inner feeling of rejection. The society that we are now living in where the youth are being classed as rebellious, where a lot of false religions and occultic movements are on the rise are. as a result of rejection. Today’s generation is the fruit of the decisions of yesterday’s generation. Because the older generation have not sought out help to deal with their issues of rejection, it has just been passed down throughout their generations. What this root of rejection has birthed are people suffering with all types of addictions, self harming, joining groups that only seek to manipulate and control and cares nothing about their wellbeing. What this root of rejection has birthed is a generation of people who no longer has a sense of purpose and if they do these wounds act as a barrier to them fulfilling their purpose. Because of this, today’s new age movement, satanic worshippers and cults are able to recruit these people dealing with the wounds of rejection. That is why we have people who have tasted and have witnessed the awesome power of the Holy Ghost just turn away from the church and renounce the name of Jesus, this is what the root of rejection is doing to those who experience it. When the fear of rejection has established a stronghold in a person, they will start to reject others before being rejected themselves. This attitude generates an inability to receive love or to love others. And from this grows rebellion.

  • Addiction

A person can become an addict when they have experienced rejection and when they are unsuccessful in their attempt to reconnect to a loving relationship, they anesthetise their pain, this can be through drugs, sex, self destructive habits such as self harming, eating disorders and many more habits. You see when love is denied somebody, the door is open for satan to step in. 

I pray that these points have helped you identify what happens when a person has the fear of rejection. It is my prayer that God will heal every wound of rejection that may have manifested in one of these characteristics. Know that God loves you and that He accepts you. He died for you and He is waiting to deliver you and heal you of your wounds but He can only do this if you let Him in. 

God bless you and thank you for reading.

This study on rejection was sourced via http://www.isob-bible.org

On Your Mark Get Set & Accelerate 

  

Still focusing on the subject of acceleration, I am truly excited about the acceleration that is about to take place in the lives of many this year. The Lord started dealing with me on the principles and the laws of physics relating to acceleration, so He had me researching what has to happen in order for a plane to lift off and fly. An airplane in flight is the centre of a continuous tug of war between four forces:

  • Lift
  • Gravity force or weight
  • Thrust
  • Drag 

Lift and drag are considered aerodynamic forces because they exist due to the movement of the aircraft through the air. The weight pulls down on the plane opposing the lift created by air flowing over the wing. Thrust is then generated by the propeller and opposes drag caused by air resistance to the frontal area of the airplane. During takeoff, thrust must overcome drag and lift must overcome the weight before the airplane can become airborne.  When the plane is in level flight at constant speed, thrust exactly equals drag and lift exactly equals the weight or gravity force. How does this apply to everyday living in 2016, 2015 was a trying year for many, it was a year of change and repositioning but it was necessary for what will take place in 2016.  In 2016 there will be uncommon favour, there will be a quantum leap but for this to take place there will be opposing forces but you have to know when to stand still and when to move. Last year when I was on the plane travelling to Jamaica, it moved from the terminal and it started moving towards where it would lift off. I noticed we had to wait for a few minutes then the plane started moving really fast then we were in the air .  

What am I saying there will be some opposing forces that will try to come at you, I can feel it even now as I am typing this that some of you are facing opposition, be of good cheer you are being positioned for lift off. That is what will happen in this year, you may feel like things are still going  slow but you are being positioned for lift off. For favour to shine bright in your life, things have to be shaky that’s the only way God can get the glory. In this season, no one can get the glory for what is about to happen in your life. You have to be really careful as to who you connect with in this season as they cannot get the glory for your acceleration. So I hereby declare to you On Your Mark, Get Set, and Accelerate.

God Bless You and Thank You For Reading.

2016- A Year Of Acceleration

  
2015 was a year of transition and change. For me personally, 2015 was a year of major change, losses and grief. On the other hand, it was one of my most productive years to date. In this year, I discovered the real “Me”. However it was at the cost of a high price but it was worth it. There were days when I felt like I was not going to make it. In my season of great vulnerability, I experienced betrayal, mockery, gossip, people looking down on me and through it all the Lord told me to be still. I also experienced some of the greatest people who celebrated me and the gift that God has placed in me.
In August 2015, the Lord kept saying ‘Quantum Leap’, so I proceeded to research the definition of quantum leap which is physics principle.quantum leap is a sudden large increase or advance- it is any sudden and significant change. The Lord started pouring into me that when quantum leap takes place, it is a suddenly- one minute you are broke, the next minute you are wealthy; one minute you are single, the next minute you are engaged to be married. This season is not to be missed and it cannot be taken lightly. It is not by accident that this season of acceleration is happening in the year of Jubilee according to the Jewish calendar 5776. It is a season of restoration where captivity is reversed.  A week before Christmas, the Lord told me to check the calendar for 2016, I noticed it was going to be a leap year and I realised that God was preparing me from August for the New Year.

God showed me that 2015 was a year of positioning, just like in the story of Joseph, he went into the pit then he went to Potiphar’s house only to be accused of rape then thrown into prison. The pit was like a prison so it would seem as if Joseph had gone back to square one or ground level in his life. If you felt like you were demoted or you went back to square one in this year, then I am writing to let you know that 2015 was only positioning you for your leap into purpose in 2016. Joseph’s experiences was only there to position him to meet Pharaoh and provide solutions that he had gained from his monotonous and painful experiences. Your experiences in 2015 will not be wasted, it was only allowed by God to happen to you in order to catapult you into your season of manifestation and acceleration. Time will be restored to you. So in these final 2 days before the new year, I want you to position yourself, spirit, soul and body and remain expectant because God is about to accelerate you beyond your expectations and imagination. Have a happy new year and know that God is with you and He will never leave you or forsake you.

God bless you and thank you for reading.. 

Stepping Out Into the Unknown (Part 1)

Stepping Into The Unknown

It was in the month of May 2013, that the Lord gave me the scripture Genesis chapter 12v1. Months later, I started hearing different people preaching on the same scripture and I knew that God was trying to get my attention. I remembered the first time the Lord led me to this scripture, I immediately sensed that the Lord was calling me out of where I was in order to go to another dimension in Him. God  started telling me to resign from different departments I was involved with in my church at the time. I did not understand why. The final ministry He had told me to resign from was the youth department. One year later He told me to hand in my resignation and leave the ministry where I was a minister. The Lord had showed me the city, but He did not tell where I was going to live or how I was going to survive. He told me to go.

In Genesis 12v1, God told Abram to leave his country, his relatives and his father’s house and go to a land that God will show him. It is important to understand that destiny has a place. We are all called to purpose. And if you truly grasp that, then you will experience at some point in your lifetime when God will call you out into the unknown. When this occurs God will either give you a word of instruction or a word of direction. You see, a word of direction is often vague and not very clear whereas a word of instruction is very clear and detailed. Abram was given a word of direction.

Whenever you receive a word of direction, your faith in God is what will be the driving force. It takes courage to step out without clear information. I have found that when God calls you out, He will show you the end of the journey and the blessings that are waiting for you on the other side. He will always show you the promise that is waiting at the end of your obedience. You see this in verses 2-3 of chapter 12. Your miracle is hidden in your obedience to the instruction that God gives you. In verse 4, Abram takes the brave journey and leaves with his wife Sarai and his nephew Lot.

One of the first principles the Lord had taught me in stepping out is that in order to go to the next level, there are some relationships that you have to let go of. It is easier said than done but it is absolutely necessary. The Lord had told Abram to leave his country and his kindred but he still took Lot with him. Partial obedience is still disobedience. Genesis 13v5-6 highlights this point that where you are going, some of your relationships cannot contain or even fathom what God is about to do for you. They cannot handle it. It does not mean they are bad people, t just means that right now in your journey, you have come to a place where you have to go alone. Do not allow guilt to weigh you down. Abraham probably felt the responsibility to bring Lot along with him because Lot’s father had died. But God’s instructions were very clear. When we refuse to let go off of relationships that God has instructed us to, the next thing that will come is strife. In Genesis 13:7, strife came between the herdsmen of Abram and the herdsmen of Lot. Sometimes strife is a blessing because it puts you back on track and onto God’s original plan so that you can accomplish His will for your life.

Abram and Lot separated and Abram stayed in Canaan and Lot pitched his tent toward Sodom. The next thing that happened blew my mind, in verse 14 of chapter 13, the Lord tells Abram to “lift up his eyes and look…..” In verse 15, God makes another promise to Abram. Lot had to leave before God could give him a word of instruction. Whilst he was with Lot, God still spoke with Abram, He still protected Abram when they entered Egypt, but Lot had to go before the plan was unveiled. So my question is, how many of you as a result of disobedience are delaying the word of instruction that the Lord has for you? How many of you are refusing to let go off of dead relationships or relationships that love you so much that they are stifling the very purpose that God has for your life? I am here to declare to you that it is time to arise, step out and step into the destiny that God has for you.

The first requirement of stepping out into the unknown is , letting go of relationships  that is preventing you from moving forward. You have to forsake the old and embrace the new. What you are willing to let go of determines what God will bless you with. I discovered this for myself; the relationships that I have formed since I have moved are priceless. I say this in humility, if I had stayed in the same place holding onto the same people and relationships, I would have missed out on the wealth of relationships and connections that I have now and I know God is only just beginning.

When I transitioned to my new city, the first instruction the Lord gave me was to shut down every communication I had with people and mentors from my previous city. This was hard for me because these relationships meant a lot to me. But God said let go and I did. And can I be honest? It was the best decision of my life, what I know now cannot be compared to what I knew then and I believe that is what had happened to Abram, when he said good bye to the unnecessary weight, that was when he was able to lift up his eyes and look; he was able to handle the instruction of the Lord concerning his life and his household.  It is my prayer that God will give you the courage to step out into the unknown and experience His abundance in Jesus Name Amen. This will be done in a series, because God is pouring a lot into me concerning this topic so stay tuned.

May God bless you and thank you for reading.

Take The Labels Off

Label Pic

During my journey, last year November the Lord asked me who are you? I said to the Lord You know who I am, You created me. But He kept asking me ‘who are you? So I took pen and paper and I started writing and what came after that blew my mind. I was shocked that this was what God thought of me. I know He loves me but He started to reveal to me what His idea of me was according to His word. It was defining moment for me.  After this, I heard Him say ‘Take the labels off’.

After this, I realised that oftentimes when in a new environment or when you have been through a lot of adversity, people have a way of labelling you based on where you are, or where you have been. I realise that when people do not understand you, they tend to put a label on you in order to accommodate their small capacity to handle you. I realised that throughout my teenage years, I was walking around with these labels. Before I go any further, I want to explore the definition of labels.

Labels- “A classifying phrase or name applied to a person or thing, especially one that is inaccurate or restrictive”.

This definition is very relevant to this topic. Two words in this definition stand out ‘Inaccurate and Restrictive’. Labels are often inaccurate because labels are often rooted in gossip or rumours about a person. Sometimes the individual being labelled has no idea what is being said about them. But words are spiritual and death and life are in the power of the tongue. Words spoken good or bad has the ability to attach themselves to a person’s life. That is why you have to consistently pray against every word spoken against you in judgement as stated in Isaiah chapter 54v17. For something to be inaccurate, it is false, anything that is spoken over your life that is contrary to the word of God, is inaccurate. To restrict is to impose restrictions on someone’s activities or freedom. When I think of the word restrict, I think of a prison and a bolted box.

This is what labels do to a person; because they are false it puts a person in a mental prison that stops them from being productive. What labels do to a person, they tell that person that they can only go so far. For example, a person who grew up in a single parent home can only go so far, this child is not expected to excel however I thank God there are so many people in society today including myself who have disproved this theory ( first in the immediate family Glory to God). Another example is, ‘you are a woman, women are not supposed to….. and I will let those who read this finish the sentence because there are so many things that we have heard in that sentence. I am a woman, so I have heard many limited views on what I could or could not do. Or ‘you are single so you cannot…. You will never go anywhere in life.  I think you get the idea now. If you have walked around with similar labels, I want you to write them out then burn those labels and replace those labels with what God has said about you.

I realised that throughout my teenage years, I was walking with the labels that people had placed on me, and I already mentioned a few in the last paragraph.

Last year November was when God started talking to me about my identity, He took me on a journey of self discovery and He started to reveal to me His perspective of me. I came to realise that all of the hard trials I had gone through, it has brought out and unleashed an anointing in me which has released gifts that I had no idea was on the inside of me. The labels placed upon me were also good labels such as ‘I can see you as a Pastor, First lady, and warrior. The truth is people may have seen all these qualities in me but I recognised that my true identity came from His word. Those were just titles but my identity is not found in what I do. My identity is not in my business, it is not in what I do, it is found in the word, and in God’s word are His thoughts towards me. In my journey, God had to strip me of everything that I was so that I could become what He has called me to be and this is a journey, it takes a lifetime and eternity to become who God has destined for you to become.

I have found that if you do not know who you are, there are people who will try to label you to fit into their little box of who they think you should be.

The Lord used the example of David and Saul in 1Samuel 17v38-39, when David was getting ready to fight Goliath, and Saul attempted to put his armour on David. The Lord revealed to me that the armour can be used as a representation of the labels people will try to put on you. But David identified that He could not wear Saul’s armour because he had not proved it. David could only prove God’s word. That was a defining moment for David. You see you cannot use someone else’s armour and win. Your victory is hidden in you discovering your identity and your uniqueness. When you know who and whose you are, you will become unstoppable. Impossibilities will be made possible. Labels weigh you down. Labels block your ability to be creative because it restricts you to be and do certain things. Labels make you feel like you cannot aim higher than where you are. It chokes out every potential and it releases limitations over the lives of those who allows it to. Your journey to destiny begins when you start peeling away the labels. Labels tell you how far you can go and how much you can do. But God who created you and He  knows your beginning to your end and He is calling you into the realm where impossibilities are made possible. So I dare you to take the labels off and step into your potentiality.

God bless you and thank you for reading.