The Unemployed Graduate


Blog 2

Graduating from University was a huge achievement for me, firstly because I was the first in my immediate family to graduate and secondly I had to overcome a lot of emotional, mental and physical barriers in order to wear that gown on that amazing day called ‘Graduation’. I was on cloud nine and there was nothing anyone could tell me that could prevent me from dreaming and expecting for my great future. Just 2-4 weeks later reality had  hit home I need a job!!!!!! I started applying and  I started looking at different things that I could do;  I mean my University boasted about 60% of its graduates got a job within 6 months of graduating so I was hopeful and  after all I was only 2 weeks in to unemployment. What I had not anticipated was that I was going to be unemployed for seven months. Every interview I was invited to, their response was ‘you’re overqualified’. By November I had enough.

But there was hope, seven months later after I had graduated, I started a new role in HR and I was excited as it had some relevance to what I had studied at University but just one year later I became unemployed again  because the contract was only for a year and that season continued for another 3 years and 9 months. The purpose of this article is to encourage those of you who are facing unemployment. It is to let you know that you are in one of the best seasons of your life- How so? I hear some of you ask?

You see in those three years and nine months God blessed me to start my own movement Release Me where I facilitated workshops and God blessed my mind and hands to write and self publish my first book and so many opportunities came out of that. Sometimes what we think is rejection is actually God’s way of redirecting our paths to places and opportunities that we could have never thought of by ourselves had we not walked through this way of our process. I don’t despise those seasons of unemployment- God used it to mould me into the woman that I am today and He allowed me to discover parts of me that I never knew existed. So here are a few spiritual and practical tips as to how I overcame my season of unemployment.

  • Prayer– everything for me starts with prayer because that is how you communicate with God- Communication with God is a dialogue not a monologue- there were moments during my season when I prayed and I had to wait for God to respond. Sometimes He responded straight away, other times it took Him a while because He saw a head of time what He was getting ready to do for me. Many times, His answers were either Yes, No, Not yet or just pure silence. When God responded in silence, I  realized He wanted me to apply what He had taught me in my last season. God does not allow you to go through anything He has not equipped you for. I realize  He was preparing me for that season six years before it happened. Prayer provides the map to the route God wants to take you on. Even though I was unemployed, God through prayer led me to opportunities that would yield provision for those hard seasons.
  • Obedience- with prayer comes instructions and with God’s instructions, He expects us to be obedient to His instructions. Your miracle and breakthrough is hidden in the last instruction that God gave you. There were many instructions that God gave me and even though I tried to be obedient to everything I heard (I didn’t always get it right), half the things He told me to do didn’t make sense but now as I am in the promise Job (He showed me my current role in 2010), I realize all of the instructions were necessary and they were forming me for the position I am in right now.
  • Purpose- Knowing  your purpose and what you are called to do is important. Purpose fuels passion. When you have a deep sense of purpose, there is a passion that is formed in you and as you go through your journey, your passion and journey will start to become visible to others who will want to explore what is about you. Opportunities chase the Passionate and the purpose driven individual. The more passionate and purpose driven you are, the more opportunities God will start to release to you.
  • A Good Attitude– Never turn down an opportunity because you don’t think its ‘good enough’ or because it does not match your ideal role. I accepted many roles that were beneath my potential and pay grade but I humbled myself and learned what I had to from each opportunity. Smile through it and remain thankful- God is watching your attitude- He is looking at how you handle the small opportunities. So that in due season He can elevate and promote you.
  • Sowing– there are a lot of debates about whether you should tithe or give offering especially when you are unemployed- I truly believe that tithing comes with revelation. The revelation I received was to remain faithful even in the small. If you can be faithful in the little- God will make you ruler over much- Matthew 25v23 and Luke 16v10. Even if I only had £10 I had  a strong conviction to sow at least 10%. Even when I got my first full time job after such a long period  of unemployment, I had to survive off £950 per month, and out of that God encouraged me to sow. And every month God supplied my needs, I never went without food and clothing. No one could have thought that that’s all I was bringing home every month. Before my bills, I gave my tithe and offering, I believe in the principle of first so before I gave anyone else my money I gave it to God first,  it was a way of consecrating my finances and God always stretched it. I would have to do another article on the principle of sowing and tithing-  God used this principle to shatter glass ceilings over my life. It is not by my works but every instruction in this area I had honoured, and God came through for me.
  • Sign up with as many agencies as possible– A very practical principle- sign up with multiple agencies (Morgan Hunt, Brook Street, Reed, Adecco). I have learnt that the jobs market is about numbers, the more jobs you apply for the more chance you have of getting a job. Sitting at home praying all day is not enough this is where you apply works to your faith. How many CVs have you submitted? the rejections will make you weary but you have to push, press and persevere through all of that because your promise is on the other side of the rejection. I applied for over 1500 jobs, possibly 2000 in the space of two years until I gave up. The permanent role which I hold now came through an agency. Be creative and speak to friends and family. My first permanent job came through my landlady who lived across the road from me.
  • Managing the balance between Instinct and Intellect– To understand more about this I will encourage you to read Bishop TD Jakes’ book called INSTINCT. A huge mistake I made after graduating from University is I thought that it was all about my intellect, there was a bit of pride and ego at work hence the intense process. God had to strip me of that mindset. I walked around thinking I was entitled to get a job because I completed a law with psychology degree I mean who wouldn’t want me? that was a poor attitude and I realized even where I am now- that  employers value a person that can think and act with instinct and bring forth a solution that can yield results for his or her company. It always baffled me why people who never went to school were doing better than me- God taught me it is because they know how to think and move with instinct. They don’t just know theory but they know how to convert it into practical solutions. If you can get this, then you are on your way to your promotion. The day I caught this revelation, is the day my life started to change.

There are so many more principles that I would like to share but it is my prayer that as you obediently apply these principles that God will begin to open up doors that eyes have not seen and ears have not heard 1 Corinthians 2v9. May God shatter those glass ceilings of limitations and may He release miracles signs and wonders in your life as you obey the instructions of the Lord. May grace and peace be your portion in Jesus Name. Amen

God bless you and thank you for reading.

Advertisements

Trust The Potter


“THE WORD which came to Jeremiah from the Lord, saying, Arise, and go down to the potter’s house, and there I will cause thee to hear my words. Then I went down to the potter’s house, and behold he wrought a work on the wheels”. 

Jeremiah 18:1-3

Ten years ago whilst attending college, I had a sudden urge to attend a pottery class. For the eight weeks I participated in this class, it was one of the most frustratingthings I had partook in. I was so annoyed by  the process  I refused to go and collect my pot. What I failed to recognise was that the next ten years I was about to be that clay. One of the things that frustrated me with the process was I kept having to start over again and again because air kept getting into the clay so every time my teacher tested the clay he would say start over- if I continued making the pot without removing the slit (air) from the clay, when the pot would be placed in the furnace, it would have exploded. 

How many times have we gotten mad at God for allowing the setbacks and delays and the many situations that seemed as if they were sent to destroy us? I have had many arguments with the Holy Spirit but maturity stepped in and I realised that the process was necessary. God was never going to allow those situations to destroy me, they were sent to reveal the mess and impurities in me and to purge out the mess out of  me. Ten years later I am no longer murmuring at the pain or the circumstances that came against me. I am celebrating because those experiences has revealed my purpose, what the enemy meant for evil God turned it for my good. 

A few points about the process

  • The process is your incubator- just like a womb- it’s dark but that’s where the baby receives his/her nutrients in order for growth to take place. The seed in its early stages  relies on the dirt to germinate. Your process is dark but have you not noticed how much you have grown? The process was not sent to kill you, it’s sent to form you into the man or woman who God has called you to be.
  • The Process Cultivates You for your Purpose- Just like Joseph, Esther, Ruth, David and Jesus, your process is leading you to purpose and destiny. Trust the process. God is getting ready to add purpose to your process. Joseph’s process led Him to becoming the prime minister over Egypt (Genesis 37-50), Esther’s process led her to becoming Queen and she saved her people from Genocide.  David’s process led him to becoming King over Israel (1Samuel 16), Ruth’s process of loss and grief led her to her Boaz. Jesus’s process led Him to saving the  whole world. His process led to salvation and the reconciliation of God and mankind. This leads me to the next point;
  • Your Process is never just about you- your process has the power to impact those who are around you . How you respond to your process determines the effectiveness of your purpose and ministry to those who you are sent to Impact.
  • The process is sent to purify you- just like gold, it is heated at the highest level to remove the impurities. The process is repeated until it is pure gold.
  • Your process is a vehicle that is transporting you to your place of purpose and destiny
  • Your process will eventually lead you to your place of promotion and wealth

It is my prayer that God will give you staying power to endure the process. You are going to come out as pure gold. Do not give up, you will reap if you don’t faint. (Galatians 6:9)

God bless you and thank you for reading

No More Tight Shoes

As I was reflecting two weeks ago on the year 2016. I started talking to the Lord about relationships both business and personal that left me either confused or hurt. As I was speaking about the lessons I had learnt from those relationships, I heard His still small voice. “When you wear tight shoes, you will get corns on your toes” (gruesome but true). I asked the Lord to expand and He took me on a journey to discover what He meant. 


The tight shoes represents relationships and environments- stop trying to fit into relationships and environments that do not have the capacity to accommodate you. The consequences of wearing tight shoes is that you get corns. When you get corns, you have to go through the painful process of getting that special blade to cut it down. I had it in 2009 it was awfully painful and I had to use that special blade. Before I got the blade I was using those cushions to make the pain less intense. That is what we sometimes do when we have tight shoes, we wear plasters and cushions to “ease the pain” that comes with tight shoes. This is what we do in “tight” relationships- we make excuses for them, we have hope that the day the shoe (relationship) will loosen to fit you. In this case you are more focused on the potential rather than the reality of the fact that it is too tight. Another fact about having corns- when you have them you cannot even wear the shoes that fit you without feeling excruciating pain. 

Feet- represents your Destiny. Your destiny is the path you choose to take in order to fulfil your purpose. The choices you make in terms of your relationship has the ability to propel you to or delay you from your place of purpose. 

Every time you allow the wrong people in your life- you run the risk of getting corns in your destiny. When the right people or opportunities show up, it hurts too much to enjoy what God has prepared for you. So a word of advice for 2017, stay away from relationships, opportunities and environments that have shown themselves to be too “small” to accommodate you. This is your year to soar like an eagle. 
God bless you all and thank you for reading.  

10 Keys To Overcoming Rejection In Your Family 

  

Rejection from family members is one of the most painful experiences one could have. Your family is where you are supposed to feel protected and where you can be you but this is not always the case. In my last blog, I wrote about the experiences of rejection faced by David and Joseph. I dealt with the fact that the rejection they experienced actually acted as a vehicle that ushered them into a place of rulership. 

Below are a few important points on understanding rejection from family members and how to overcome rejection from family;

1) Being rejected by family members does not mean that something is wrong with you, it is what’s right with you that causes people to reject you. You are rejected because the rejector does not have the capacity to receive what’s on the inside of you. 

2) You have been rejected for purpose

3) People often reject what they don’t understand

4) Rejection from family members can sometimes lead to isolation- there is purpose behind the isolation, isolation births revelation of your identity and purpose especially when you are chosen to be the curse breaker in your family.

5) Rejection from your family leads you to uncommon favour with the Lord. David and Joseph found favour with the Lord. 

6) Rejection leads to rulership- David was anointed king over Israel (1Samuel 16:13) and Joseph became ruler and second in command to Pharoah over Egypt (Genesis 41:40-46). Jephthah’s rejection from his family led him to conquering the enemies of his people (Judges 11:32-33).

7) Rejection from family drives you into the hand of God (Psalm 27:10) 

God will personally take care of you. People always said to me “Dahna you are so spoilt, you get everything you pray for”, my response was “that is  the treatment you get when God becomes your mother and your father”.

8) Understand that family members cannot give you what they don’t have- there is a high chance that they have been rejected too and have not had the strength to deal with it. Their coping mechanism is rejecting others. 

9) True healing takes place when you stop expecting family members to approve of you. Only God can approve of you because He created you. People cannot  approve of something they did not create.

10) Forgiveness- forgiveness is for you not the rejector. When you release the pain of rejection, new doors of breakthrough will start to open for you. Forgiveness is a key to your breakthrough (Matthew 16:19, Matthew 18:18). 

Dealing With Rejection In Your Family 

  
Rejection from family is one of the most painful experiences I endured throughout my life. It is only now that I have found the courage to speak on this because I see the hand of God upon my life and I see the purpose in the many rejections that I have experienced throughout my childhood, adolescence and early adulthood. Rejection is the dismissing or refusing of a proposal or idea. It is the action of spurning a person’s affection. There are many accounts of rejection from family members in the bible. 

Joseph

Joseph’s brothers hated him because his father favoured him more than his brothers, his father gave him a coat of many colours- Genesis 37. The fact that Joseph had a dream, this fuelled hatred in his brothers for him even the more. In Genesis  chapter 37:12-17, it shows that Joseph’s brothers ostracised him, he was not included in the feeding of the flock- the root of the rejection from Joseph’s brothers stemmed from envy because Joseph had a dream. With envy and jealousy I call it ‘envyjelism’, exclusion happens to make you think that there is something wrong with you; I am writing to let you know that there is nothing wrong with you, when you are rejected, it says a lot more about the rejector than you. There is purpose in the exclusion. The truth is that your family’s exclusion of you shows their incapability of handling who you are. I have discovered that oftentimes the person in the family who carries the key to breaking the generational curses and bringing breakthrough to that family is always rejected and isolated. 

Why Does This Happen?

Isolation births revelation- if you are in the mix and if you are included in everything, you will not see the difference within you. Isolation as a result of rejection helps you to identify and appreciate your difference. The rejection of Joseph’s brothers led him to the pit which ushered him to Pharaoh’s palace. Rejection happens when the rejector has failed to recognise the value within the individual being rejected. Joseph’s brothers failed to see the purpose that was upon Joseph’s life but their rejection of Joseph served a purpose; he had to be the ruler over Egypt and the only way he could have gotten there was by way of his brothers rejecting him and throwing him in the pit.

David 

In 1 Samuel chapter 16, the Lord tells Samuel to go and anoint the next king of Israel which happened to live in the house of Jesse. Jesse had eight sons but only seven were invited to this anointing ceremony. In 1 Samuel chapter 16:10, Jesse made all seven sons go before Samuel and the Lord rejected all of them. It was when Samuel asked Jesse, that is when he remembered that he had an eighth son. Have you been dismissed by your parents or family members? Have you ever been reduced to just being the little ‘shepherd boy or girl” in your family? Have you been placed in the background because they don’t think that you are even worth the investment? If your answe to these questions are yes, I want you to know that God has a plan for you. Just like David, in the eyes of his brothers,  he was just a shepherd boy but that was his place of preparation, it was this rejection from his father and brother that qualified him to becoming the next king of Israel. The rejection that you have endured in your family is a direct indication that you are called to deliver them. Joseph became ruler over Egypt and the deliverer to his family from famine and David was chosen to take out Goliath. Both Joseph and David’s rejection led them to a place of ruler ship- they went from rejection to ruler ship.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

Dealing With Rejection In The Church (Part 2)

Rejection Poster 2

“A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success”- Bo Bennett

Below are a few points on dealing with rejection in the church;

1.Understand that rejection is redirection and relocation to your new place of purpose and destiny- Joseph’s brothers rejected him and that rejection led him to the pit which ushered him to Pharaoh’s palace.

2. Sometimes God will allow rejection to happen to redirect your focus to God as your only source.

3. When rejection happens in the church (the people), it is an indication that what you are carrying is far too big for the reject-er to handle. Healing from rejection starts when you realise that the same people who have rejected you may  have also been rejected.

4. Healing begins when you start to experience the unconditional love of God through His word and worship.

5. Healing begins when you accept the rejection- accepting that the rejection has taken starts the healing process and you will start to see that  the issue does not lie with you but the issue lies with the reject-er. Please note that acceptance of the rejection is different to reacting to the rejection.

6. Healing from rejection within the church starts when you stop reacting to it- my mentor said to me a few years ago that rejection is not valid if you are chasing the person who has and is rejecting you- it is when you keep reacting to their rejection- that is when the pain of rejection is birthed .

7. Accept that the person does not have the capacity to love you- they cannot give you what they do not have and that is when you will get the power to love again.

8. Understand that the church (the people) is not perfect. Everyone is wounded and hurt in some type of way. The Church is like a hospital, everyone who visits the hospital has an ailment and it is the same with the church, everyone who attends has an ailment in their spirit, soul and body and have come to see the chief physician which is Jesus Christ for their healing.

9. Disappointment in the form of rejection happens when you place unrealistic expectations on others and when you are looking for approval from people instead of God; no one can love you or accept you like God can.

10. Remember that you have been rejected for a purpose and that Jesus loves you.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

 

 

 

Dealing With Rejection In The Church (Part 1)

For the past few weeks I have been writing on rejection, what it is, the characteristics of rejection, fear of rejection and self rejection. I wrote on the fact that when rejection happens, it is because the environment that you are looking to for acceptance is incapable of handling the greatness that is on the inside of you.

I would like to focus on rejection in the church. There are so many wounded souls within the church and there are so many who have left the church because they have been rejected by leaders and others who have been set to watch over and protect them. I am writing this blog to all those who have suffered rejection in the one place that you expected to be accepted- The Church.

So who and what is The Church?

The Church is commonly defined as a building used for public worship; many people refer to the church as an organisation- but the word church in the bible comes from the Greek word Ecclesia which means a called out company or assembly- whenever the word church is used in the bible, it is referring to people- 1 Corinthians 1v2. So when I am talking about being rejected in the church, I am talking about being rejected by the people who are the church not God- you see Jesus’ love for you is unconditional and nothing that you do could ever make God reject you or stop loving you.  One thing that helped my healing process from rejection was that;

The Rejecter has also been rejected

I see a cycle within the body of Christ, there are so many leaders who have been rejected by their spiritual fathers, that has created this vicious cycle of rejection. What we have are rejected spiritual sons and daughters turning into spiritual mothers and fathers who are now rejecting their spiritual sons and daughters. It takes a level of maturity and getting into a place of revelation to see the spirit behind rejection within the church. The result of this type of rejection is that there are spiritual sons and daughters who have and are still walking around not understanding their identity and looking to other spiritual fathers/mothers for the spiritual validation that should have been given to them by their spiritual fathers.

Solution

The solution to this is seeking God and discovering what God is saying about you- your identity and purpose is found in God and oftentimes, I believe that God will purposely hide your call and assignment from the man of God. I am not saying this is always the case because the man of God is set to guide, guard and protect you. However, God does not always reveal everything to the man of God concerning you. I experienced this is in my personal life, I could not understand why my spiritual father at the time could not see what God was telling me about my purpose and destiny- my purpose got so intense that I could barely sleep or eat. I had to step outside of the boat and with that decision came rejection.

Was I upset? yes, I was on the verge of bitterness especially when I had dealt with my natural father not being in my life throughout my teenage years but in my metamorphosis process, God began to show me that rejection meant redirection and where I was positioned at the time, my environment could no longer accommodate the greatness that I was carrying on the inside of me. I started to love and appreciate my leaders from my past as, if they had accepted me and approved of me, I would have remained in the same place; I recognised that my leaders may have also experienced rejection at some point in their lives and may not have noticed that they were passing on the same treatment. I started seeing God’s hand in the rejection. The rejection was just a vehicle that was transporting me to my place of purpose and destiny.

God bless you and thank you for reading