Hope – Destiny Moments

Transition

Ever feel like you finally get a hang of life and its course, only to be hit with a surprise crossroad that shifts you into a world of decisions and the very thing you thought you finally had control of you no longer could handle? Sounds familiar?

This is Transition. When you think you have mastered Transition on one level, there is always another level that awaits your discovery. God is amazing and He is full of surprises. There is absolutely nothing that takes Him by surprise concerning you but there are times when He allows unexpected shifts which are a surprise to you. I have learnt to welcome every shift as an indication that my journey is speeding up and it means that I am getting closer to my destination called There. Everytime a car has to change gears it allows the car to move at a faster speed. Your ability to shift accelerates your journey.

Transition is your vehicle that ushers you to your place called There. Everytime there is a shift, and a sudden change it means that you are arriving closer to your destination. Everytime life throws a curveball it just means you need to shift. If you experience sudden betrayal or sudden separation of a longstanding relationship that is just destiny disguised as a heartbreak. Trust what the Holy Spirit is doing in this season.

Romans 8v28 states that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His design and purpose (Amplified Version). The good the bad and the ugly are all working out for your purpose. I was listening to an interview with Pastor Keion Henderson and Dr Matthew Stevenson and Dr Stevenson stated that “Change either happens to you or through you”.

I truly believe the difference is in those who allow themselves to go through the many processes and shifts that life has to throw at oneself, to those who allow themselves to go through this process, are the ones that are used as vessels of change but to the one who refuses change ends up being on the dark side of Change.

The darkside of change is where you end up dealing with the harsh consequences of change. In a crisis, you can tell the difference between those who are prepared and those who were ill prepared. Crisis is only seen as crisis by those who fail to discern the times and prepare. Crisis is seen as an opportunity by those who choose to prepare ahead of the crisis. Look around the world and look at the response to our present crisis. I truly believe that our response is determined by our ability to prepare. Preparation precedes response.

In transition, your preparation will precede your response. Your preparation to be flexible with the curveball of change will determine your ability to navigate through the many stages of transition.

Once you learn the simple principle of ebb and flow (that is knowing when to respond and when to be still), then the many shifts that accompanies Transition will be welcomed as an opportunity rather than a crisis.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

No More Tight Shoes

As I was reflecting two weeks ago on the year 2016. I started talking to the Lord about relationships both business and personal that left me either confused or hurt. As I was speaking about the lessons I had learnt from those relationships, I heard His still small voice. “When you wear tight shoes, you will get corns on your toes” (gruesome but true). I asked the Lord to expand and He took me on a journey to discover what He meant.

The tight shoes represents relationships and environments- stop trying to fit into relationships and environments that do not have the capacity to accommodate you. The consequences of wearing tight shoes is that you get corns. When you get corns, you have to go through the painful process of getting that special blade to cut it down. I had it in 2009 it was awfully painful and I had to use that special blade. Before I got the blade I was using those cushions to make the pain less intense. That is what we sometimes do when we have tight shoes, we wear plasters and cushions to “ease the pain” that comes with tight shoes. This is what we do in “tight” relationships- we make excuses for them, we have hope that the day the shoe (relationship) will loosen to fit you. In this case you are more focused on the potential rather than the reality of the fact that it is too tight. Another fact about having corns- when you have them you cannot even wear the shoes that fit you without feeling excruciating pain.

Feet- represents your Destiny. Your destiny is the path you choose to take in order to fulfil your purpose. The choices you make in terms of your relationship has the ability to propel you to or delay you from your place of purpose.

Every time you allow the wrong people in your life- you run the risk of getting corns in your destiny. When the right people or opportunities show up, it hurts too much to enjoy what God has prepared for you. So a word of advice for 2017, stay away from relationships, opportunities and environments that have shown themselves to be too “small” to accommodate you. This is your year to soar like an eagle.
God bless you all and thank you for reading.

Activate Your Internal SatNav

Every individual has an internal SatNav system. Bishop TD Jakes calls this instinct. As a Christian and woman of faith I call this the Holy Spirit who teaches, guides and instructs me to take the best path according to the plans that God has for me. In the secular world, they call it a gut feeling. Whatever you want to call it, everyone is built with that gravitational pull. It is this knowing that there is more to life than what they are currently experiencing. With every dream comes a unique satellite navigation system (SatNav). There is a unique journey that you have to take in order to see the manifestation of your dream. Sometimes great delay is experienced when you are trying to change the journey to your dream rather than embrace the unique circumstances that comes with the birthing of your dream.

I experienced this internal SatNav a few weeks ago. I dreamt about this particular place- I kept telling close acquaintances about this particular place. I stepped out by faith after reaching out to a new friend who led me to this place in real life. I realised that my internal SatNav coupled with the Holy Spirit led me to this place that I kept seeing in my dreams. For some of you, you might think that you are going crazy, but I promise you, that pull that you are feeling- that tug that is pulling you towards your destiny, stop fighting it; just go towards the direction of that destiny pull- this pull only requires your Yes and when you go in the direction of the pull, that is when things will stop feeling like a struggle. Surrender to the call of your destiny. Surrender to God because He knows the plans that He has for you. (Jeremiah 29:11). In surrendering, you may not like what is behind that open door at first but know that it will work together for your good.

God bless you and thank you for reading….

Open That Door

Something happened to me yesterday. It involves the restroom but I got a major revelation from the experience. I was at a cafe doing some work and I needed to go to the restroom. I was standing outside the door thinking that it was occupied- at one point the barista looked at me strange and I just smiled and continued waiting. I was out there for about 2-3 minutes before I realised it was vacant. I assumed the room was occupied because the door was closed.

After going into the restroom, the Lord said to me this is what is happening in the realms of the spirit, there are people (including me- I am not exempt from this message) standing before an open door, because it is closed they think they cannot get access but all they have to do is open the door. They are waiting for Me to open the door. When you look at doors, there are some doors that you need a key to open, there are some doors where as soon as you go in front of it, it opens for you. There are some doors that you haveto push and there are some doors that you have to pull open.

In in this season, it is important that you discern the door that you are standing in front of. We are in the season of the open door, so whatever door you are standing in front of it is time to walk through it. So I challenge you today, what doors are you waiting for to open in order to fulfil your dreams? You have been waiting on God- what if all along God has been waiting for you? I dare you today launch out and walk through the door that God has already opened for you. I dare you it’s time to dream again. Your opportunity awaits you.
Thank you for reading

Feeling Lost?

I had an experience three days ago with my friend’s daughter after I collected her from school. I decided to surprise her with a trip to the farm which is fifteen minutes from her home- when we arrived she was excited, we looked at the different animals and then we left to go home. I thought I knew another way to get home as the bridge we would normally use to get over to the other side was closed off. As we proceeded to take this shortcut, I noticed that we were lost. I said I think we are lost and she got really scared. I looked at her and I said ‘hold my hand, don’t be scared I will never allow anything to happen to you’; she held onto my hand and she said that she felt safe at home because that’s “familiar”to her.

Later in the evening the Lord said to me, ‘Dahna what happened today was a reflection of you and I’ He said ‘Dahna, when I take you into unfamiliar territory you get scared and you start craving for the familiar. I want you to trust Me- I would never allow anything or anyone to harm you. Just like how you wanted your friend’s daughter to trust you- I want you to trust me the same way’. I was humbled by that revelation because the last few months I was in a place of uncertainty. I started feeling like I had made a mistake maybe I made a wrong turn in my journey but I realised that I was not lost, God was trying to introduce me to a new dimension in Him. If you are feeling lost and uncertain about your future, I want to encourage you to trust God; where He is taking you will not always make sense- sometimes it will feel like He is taking you around in circles. It might feel like you will never get out of this process, I want you to know that there is purpose in your uncertainty. God sees what is ahead, sometimes He will lead you to unfamiliar paths so that He can reveal another facet of who He is and who you are in Him. I saw the purpose behind getting lost. Where I got lost was the answer to a vision I had a day after the launch of #DreamAgain. The pathway where I was when I got lost matched the pathway I saw in my vision and with that God spoke to me in the midst of me being lost to give me the interpretation of my dream. The place of uncertainty serves a purpose. God will isolate you just so that He can give you fresh revelation. Don’t fear the uncertainty, embrace it. There is purpose behind the feelings of uncertainty. Everything is getting ready to make sense.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

How To Handle Rejection In The Workplace

Have you ever worked in a hostile environment? You might be there right now, where no matter how hard you try, nothing is ever good enough . Are you in an environment where it seems as if everyone is against you? Have you faced bullying from colleagues?

I want you to know that you are not alone. I would like to share a few tips with you on how to handle rejection in your work environment. Rejection is the dismissing or refusing of a proposal idea etc. It is the action of spurning a person’s affections. It is very hard to work in an environment where it is hostile. Hostility chokes one’s creativity but with these tips I am about to provide, you will overcome and rise above rejection in the workplace.

What if I told you that the hostility that you have experienced and are experiencing actually serves a purpose.

1. You are not defined by the rejection that you are enduring in your work environment.

Rejection happens in the lives of every human being; no one is exempt from rejection. You are not defined by your colleagues’ or manager’s inability to handle you. You are not defined by the failure that you have experienced in your workplace.

2. Rejection in the workplace is an opportunity to celebrate.

Rejection is an indication and it is an announcement that you are bigger than the environment that you are in. I often use the scenario of a baby being born as an illustration of rejection. When the womb becomes too small to accommodate the baby, it rejects the baby and that’s when labour begins. When you experience rejection in your work environment, there are two things that are happening; (i) your environment is announcing to you that you are too big for the environment that you are in and (ii) you are being positioned for promotion- hostility is an indication that there is an opportunity.

3. Rejection positions you for purpose.

When you are rejected, there is a greater purpose. When I started my first job after graduating from university, I had learnt a lot of new skills, I had met a lot of people but it was a hostile environment. By November 2013, it got so stressful as well as other factors in my personal life I got ill. I almost died. Everything I did in my workplace, there was always criticism. When I left the room, they gossiped about me and made fun of me when I was ill. I remained respectful because I knew that my future was brewing. The conception of Release Me was bubbling on the inside of me that’s all I was thinking of. I looked into their criticism and improved my work ethic and I worked in excellence; by the time my contract ended, every task was completed. When I left my job at the end of my contract, my purpose began to come forth. By December 2014, the planning of Release Me had started. By October 2015, Release Me was launched. By November 2015, the manuscript for my book was completed- I had discovered my passion which led me to purpose and I discovered my strengths.

4. Focus on your strengths not your weakness

In your work environment, fill out a SWOT analysis. This allows you to identify your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats in your work environment. Magnify and focus on your strengths and opportunities. Speak to your supervisors and managers on how you can best be supported with your weak areas or try to share tasks that you are weak with with colleagues who are gifted in those areas.

5. In the case of bullying and hostility- get in touch with your Union & HR department.

Speak to your manager first and if that does not work, take it to your senior manager. There are grievance procedures which can be taken by your HR department to remedy what you are experiencing.

6. Know who you are.

Identity is a very important element when facing rejection in the workplace. For about nine months I accepted the hostility and something in me woke up- I realised that the new love that I found for myself could not facilitate the disrespect that was being shown towards me. When I stopped accepting the hostility, more respect was shown.

7. Rejection is often perceived not intended

Sometimes the rejecter does not realise that they are rejecting you. When I started to perceive that the sudden hostility could be because of issues in their personal life, that increased my compassion towards them.

8. Don’t retaliate- don’t be hostile

Remain respectful. Be diplomatic but let it be known that respect must be shown.

9. Accept it

When facing rejection, assess it, accept it and remain focused on your goal.

10. Rejection is a reflection of the rejector. Remain authentic and when you get to this point, that is when you are unbreakable and unstoppable.

Remember that you have been rejected for purpose. God bless you and thanks for reading.

10 Keys To Overcoming Rejection In Your Family

Rejection from family members is one of the most painful experiences one could have. Your family is where you are supposed to feel protected and where you can be you but this is not always the case. In my last blog, I wrote about the experiences of rejection faced by David and Joseph. I dealt with the fact that the rejection they experienced actually acted as a vehicle that ushered them into a place of rulership.

Below are a few important points on understanding rejection from family members and how to overcome rejection from family;

1) Being rejected by family members does not mean that something is wrong with you, it is what’s right with you that causes people to reject you. You are rejected because the rejector does not have the capacity to receive what’s on the inside of you.

2) You have been rejected for purpose

3) People often reject what they don’t understand

4) Rejection from family members can sometimes lead to isolation- there is purpose behind the isolation, isolation births revelation of your identity and purpose especially when you are chosen to be the curse breaker in your family.

5) Rejection from your family leads you to uncommon favour with the Lord. David and Joseph found favour with the Lord.

6) Rejection leads to rulership- David was anointed king over Israel (1Samuel 16:13) and Joseph became ruler and second in command to Pharoah over Egypt (Genesis 41:40-46). Jephthah’s rejection from his family led him to conquering the enemies of his people (Judges 11:32-33).

7) Rejection from family drives you into the hand of God (Psalm 27:10)

God will personally take care of you. People always said to me “Dahna you are so spoilt, you get everything you pray for”, my response was “that is the treatment you get when God becomes your mother and your father”.

8) Understand that family members cannot give you what they don’t have- there is a high chance that they have been rejected too and have not had the strength to deal with it. Their coping mechanism is rejecting others.

9) True healing takes place when you stop expecting family members to approve of you. Only God can approve of you because He created you. People cannot approve of something they did not create.

10) Forgiveness- forgiveness is for you not the rejector. When you release the pain of rejection, new doors of breakthrough will start to open for you. Forgiveness is a key to your breakthrough (Matthew 16:19, Matthew 18:18).

Dealing With Rejection In The Church (Part 2)

Rejection Poster 2

“A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success”- Bo Bennett

Below are a few points on dealing with rejection in the church;

1.Understand that rejection is redirection and relocation to your new place of purpose and destiny- Joseph’s brothers rejected him and that rejection led him to the pit which ushered him to Pharaoh’s palace.

2. Sometimes God will allow rejection to happen to redirect your focus to God as your only source.

3. When rejection happens in the church (the people), it is an indication that what you are carrying is far too big for the reject-er to handle. Healing from rejection starts when you realise that the same people who have rejected you may have also been rejected.

4. Healing begins when you start to experience the unconditional love of God through His word and worship.

5. Healing begins when you accept the rejection- accepting that the rejection has taken starts the healing process and you will start to see that the issue does not lie with you but the issue lies with the reject-er. Please note that acceptance of the rejection is different to reacting to the rejection.

6. Healing from rejection within the church starts when you stop reacting to it- my mentor said to me a few years ago that rejection is not valid if you are chasing the person who has and is rejecting you- it is when you keep reacting to their rejection- that is when the pain of rejection is birthed .

7. Accept that the person does not have the capacity to love you- they cannot give you what they do not have and that is when you will get the power to love again.

8. Understand that the church (the people) is not perfect. Everyone is wounded and hurt in some type of way. The Church is like a hospital, everyone who visits the hospital has an ailment and it is the same with the church, everyone who attends has an ailment in their spirit, soul and body and have come to see the chief physician which is Jesus Christ for their healing.

9. Disappointment in the form of rejection happens when you place unrealistic expectations on others and when you are looking for approval from people instead of God; no one can love you or accept you like God can.

10. Remember that you have been rejected for a purpose and that Jesus loves you.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

Dealing With Rejection In The Church (Part 1)

For the past few weeks I have been writing on rejection, what it is, the characteristics of rejection, fear of rejection and self rejection. I wrote on the fact that when rejection happens, it is because the environment that you are looking to for acceptance is incapable of handling the greatness that is on the inside of you.

I would like to focus on rejection in the church. There are so many wounded souls within the church and there are so many who have left the church because they have been rejected by leaders and others who have been set to watch over and protect them. I am writing this blog to all those who have suffered rejection in the one place that you expected to be accepted- The Church.

So who and what is The Church?

The Church is commonly defined as a building used for public worship; many people refer to the church as an organisation- but the word church in the bible comes from the Greek word Ecclesia which means a called out company or assembly- whenever the word church is used in the bible, it is referring to people- 1 Corinthians 1v2. So when I am talking about being rejected in the church, I am talking about being rejected by the people who are the church not God- you see Jesus’ love for you is unconditional and nothing that you do could ever make God reject you or stop loving you. One thing that helped my healing process from rejection was that;

The Rejecter has also been rejected

I see a cycle within the body of Christ, there are so many leaders who have been rejected by their spiritual fathers, that has created this vicious cycle of rejection. What we have are rejected spiritual sons and daughters turning into spiritual mothers and fathers who are now rejecting their spiritual sons and daughters. It takes a level of maturity and getting into a place of revelation to see the spirit behind rejection within the church. The result of this type of rejection is that there are spiritual sons and daughters who have and are still walking around not understanding their identity and looking to other spiritual fathers/mothers for the spiritual validation that should have been given to them by their spiritual fathers.

Solution

The solution to this is seeking God and discovering what God is saying about you- your identity and purpose is found in God and oftentimes, I believe that God will purposely hide your call and assignment from the man of God. I am not saying this is always the case because the man of God is set to guide, guard and protect you. However, God does not always reveal everything to the man of God concerning you. I experienced this is in my personal life, I could not understand why my spiritual father at the time could not see what God was telling me about my purpose and destiny- my purpose got so intense that I could barely sleep or eat. I had to step outside of the boat and with that decision came rejection.

Was I upset? yes, I was on the verge of bitterness especially when I had dealt with my natural father not being in my life throughout my teenage years but in my metamorphosis process, God began to show me that rejection meant redirection and where I was positioned at the time, my environment could no longer accommodate the greatness that I was carrying on the inside of me. I started to love and appreciate my leaders from my past as, if they had accepted me and approved of me, I would have remained in the same place; I recognised that my leaders may have also experienced rejection at some point in their lives and may not have noticed that they were passing on the same treatment. I started seeing God’s hand in the rejection. The rejection was just a vehicle that was transporting me to my place of purpose and destiny.

God bless you and thank you for reading

The Characteristics Of Self Rejection

Last week I dealt with the characteristics of someone dealing with the fear of rejection. This week I will be dealing with the characteristics of one who is experiencing or who has experienced self rejection. Self rejection is another product of rejection by others. When a person accepts rejection from another, they buy into the lie that they are unworthy of acceptance by themselves- self rejection therefore releases other negative emotions.

Hurt

When hurt presents itself, the person who is now rejecting themselves, they now feel like they have done everything wrong. In my teenage years I struggled with a lot of hurt. I was aggressive but I was extremely sensitive. By the age of 15-18 years old I struggled with hurt so much that I used to tell myself everyday that I hated me. The hurt I endured in my home and in my childhood made me wish I did not exist. With this came low self esteem.It’s in my mid 20’s that I noticed that this hurt was acting as a blockage to my next level of success and breakthrough. In my teen years to my early 20’s every time I was in the presence of authoratative figures, I had the feeling of unworthiness and I always felt like “I did something wrong”. It was with this self sabotaging trait that I attracted certain people that had no business being apart of my life and speaking into my life. The minute I starting grasping a sense of who I am, I started shutting some doors on relationships that no longer meant me any good.

Self Pity

This is the “poor me” syndrome with self pity, one becomes conscious and aware of their inadequacies; they start having the perspective that no one seems to understand or care what is happening to them. I had moments of pity throughout my adolescent years and early adulthood, I started focusing more on what I was weak at rather than what I was good at. But In December 2012, that started to change when I discovered the book ‘The Purpose Driven Life’ that my teacher gave me. I started becoming aware of my purpose and the passions that were buried deep within me. Upon this discovery I stopped focusing on ‘me’ and started looking for those who I was called and purposed to help. This has and is still a journey. Self pity still tried to get me some days but the key is honing in and focusing on your strengths.

Despair

Another word for hopelessness. Despair happens when a person has totally rejected themselves; they cannot see themselves as capable of being loved by others, so they reject the love others are trying to give them. They find it hard to receive gifts and acts of kindness. Despair then leads to a hopeless state of mind. I struggled with the idea of being loved especially after what happened to me when I was 12 years old. So I shut the doors to potential relationships. With that I still believed that I was being processed so I wasn’t available but I still felt unworthy of love because of the many times I was rejected. There weren’t a lot of offers but there was one, I almost missed it because I felt unworthy of his love. God has delivered me, it’s a process.

Depression

Depression comes with self rejection- this is where the person resigns themselves to the fact that they are useless. Depression then becomes a very thick wall around one that does not come down easily. For years I struggled with depression, I hid it perfectly with my makeup and beautiful outfits and shoes. From 2014 to now, God has delivered me, there are days when it tries to come back but with persistence in prayer praise and worship and being involved in fulfilling my purpose, depression has had to take a back seat. I am sensitive to the fact that not everyone deals with depression this way, so get the necessary help that you need from counsellors and faith leaders i.e. pastors, elders, ministers etc.

Isolation

With hopelessness, self rejection leads to the withdrawal from society. There is the preconceived notion that society will never miss you because you have nothing to contribute to it.

Suicide

Suicide then becomes the ultimate withdrawal. At this stage, there is a desperation that happens that they develop an underlying death wish. Suicide is the ultimate ego trip. Once a person has rejected themself, they are turned in at this point and total attention is on self- they become their own God, even at the point of making the decision to take their own life. At the age of 13, I wanted to end my life but I failed when I felt God’s presence cover me and I heard His voice say it’s not your time to die. When I look at my life now I realise that I was making a permanent decision in a temporary situation. That negative situation will not last forever. God has great plans for you. He has thoughts of peace and not of evil. He plans to give you hope in your final outcome (Jeremiah 29:11 AMP).

You see the fear of rejection is aggressive so a person who has accepted rejection will show the physical manifestations of what is happening internally. Whilst self rejection is passive and is therefore internalised. I want everyone who will read this to know that Jesus loves you and as I write this I feel the burden in your heart, Give it to God He is waiting for you to give it to Him. If you don’t believe in Him, He is waiting to accept you.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

This study on rejection was sourced via http://www.isob-bible.org