The Fear Of Rejection 

  

Last week I wrote about what rejection is and the different forms of rejection. I dealt with the fact that when a person accepts the wound of rejection in their lives, it generates the fear of rejection and self rejection. In this article, I will be  dealing with the characteristics of the fear of rejection.

When a person is wounded by rejection, they recoil at the prospect of being wounded again. The characteristics of the fear of rejection are as follows;

  • Anger

Anger always follows closely behind fear. When a person accepts rejection, they become dependent upon anger as it becomes an excellent barrier to protect them from future rejection of others. This was something I struggled with for years, when I just migrated from Jamaica especially after I was sexually assaulted at the age of 12, I had outbursts of anger, I always got in major arguments on the estate I lived on, and there were times I was close to getting into physical fights. I never fought the girls it was the guys that I went after. When someone would upset me I created a movie in my mind as to how I would make them pay. The metamorphosis that I have just been through took care of the anger that I carried for so many years, God gave me the opportunity to exchange my pain with His peace and love.

  • Hardness

Hardness is another defence mechanism that keeps people away. It’s this “I can do bad all by myself” attitude but deep down inside there is a cry for someone to love you. I experienced this and it took the circumstances of life to bring me to a place of surrender and my prayer became that of Ezekiel 36:26-27. I started asking God to give me a new heart and a new spirit and this is where God started the process of healing.

  • Bitterness

This is where you get bitter  about the situation in which you were wounded. Anger left unattended will start to generate a root of bitterness.

  • Rebellion

Rebellion is an outward expression caused by an inner feeling of rejection. The society that we are now living in where the youth are being classed as rebellious, where a lot of false religions and occultic movements are on the rise are. as a result of rejection. Today’s generation is the fruit of the decisions of yesterday’s generation. Because the older generation have not sought out help to deal with their issues of rejection, it has just been passed down throughout their generations. What this root of rejection has birthed are people suffering with all types of addictions, self harming, joining groups that only seek to manipulate and control and cares nothing about their wellbeing. What this root of rejection has birthed is a generation of people who no longer has a sense of purpose and if they do these wounds act as a barrier to them fulfilling their purpose. Because of this, today’s new age movement, satanic worshippers and cults are able to recruit these people dealing with the wounds of rejection. That is why we have people who have tasted and have witnessed the awesome power of the Holy Ghost just turn away from the church and renounce the name of Jesus, this is what the root of rejection is doing to those who experience it. When the fear of rejection has established a stronghold in a person, they will start to reject others before being rejected themselves. This attitude generates an inability to receive love or to love others. And from this grows rebellion.

  • Addiction

A person can become an addict when they have experienced rejection and when they are unsuccessful in their attempt to reconnect to a loving relationship, they anesthetise their pain, this can be through drugs, sex, self destructive habits such as self harming, eating disorders and many more habits. You see when love is denied somebody, the door is open for satan to step in. 

I pray that these points have helped you identify what happens when a person has the fear of rejection. It is my prayer that God will heal every wound of rejection that may have manifested in one of these characteristics. Know that God loves you and that He accepts you. He died for you and He is waiting to deliver you and heal you of your wounds but He can only do this if you let Him in. 

God bless you and thank you for reading.

This study on rejection was sourced via http://www.isob-bible.org

The Pain Of Rejection 

  
For the last week, I have been carrying this topic in my spirit. I started to feel the burden of those who have and are currently suffering from the pain of rejection. The Lord started dealing with me on the effects of rejection especially on the body of Christ. I have to be honest, I ran away from this subject because I discovered in 2015 that this was the root of a lot of my personal life experience where God had to take me  through a process of healing; but the Holy Ghost got a hold of me and I had to surrender because I realised that there are souls out there who are crying out in silence because they have been rejected by loved ones, their spiritual leaders and even certain groups within society and this has left a huge impact on them which has prevented them from tapping into their full potential due to fear of being rejected . Rejection is the root of most problems that humans face today. Love propels a person to do great things but rejection blocks a person’s potential.

So What Is Rejection? 

Rejection is the dismissing or refusing of a proposal idea-It is the action of spurning a person’s affection. Feeling rejected is the opposite of feeling accepted- it is the denial of love and acceptance in one’s life. Rejection and the fear of rejection plays a major part in the development of the character of every human being- one of the products of rejection is a broken spirit. Rejection is one of the most neglected, yet one of the most common emotional wounds from which one suffers. There are different forms of rejection:

  • Slighting
  • Shunning 
  • Spurning
  • Denial
  • Ignoring
  • Neglecting
  • Avoiding and Disapproving

Love is an essential need in every human being’s life. God designed it that way that we would need each other and we would need love. As people grow spiritually, they are able to handle rejection better than they could when they were young but it does not diminish how painful rejection is. No matter how old or young you are rejection still hurts. People who experience rejection, tend to react by building walls. I have discovered that rejection is a perception issue, it may not have been intended but that is how it was perceived. Rejection has to be accepted for it to have an effect on a person’s life. Rejection requires a reaction for it to bring forth fruit in a person’s life. If I don’t respond to rejection then it is not rejection at all. My mentor told me a few years ago that running after someone who has rejected you adds more to your pain but if you are not running after the rejector, then rejection has no effect on you.

When a person accepts the wound of rejection in their lives, it generates one of two things-

  1. Fear of Rejection- when a person is wounded by rejection, they recoil at the prospect of being wounded again. For example, a person who has been wounded by an authority figure in their lives, their natural reaction is to fear authority and guard themselves when they are in the presence of authority figures. The fear of being hurt causes the individual to put up defence mechanisms and this is where the development of distrust for everyone’s motives take place.
  2. Self Rejection- After a person has accepted rejection in their lives for an extended period of time, they begin to reject themselves. They start believing that they are unworthy and unacceptable by others. Both the fear of rejection and self rejection controls one’s behaviour which then starts generating unhealthy fruit. Rejection from loved ones will make one think that they are unacceptable or unqualified or unworthy. 

I will be dealing with rejection over the next few weeks. In my next blog , I will be dealing with the characteristics of the fear of rejection and self rejection. God bless you and thank you for reading.

Study on rejection was conducted on http://www.isob-bible.org.

On Your Mark Get Set & Accelerate 

  

Still focusing on the subject of acceleration, I am truly excited about the acceleration that is about to take place in the lives of many this year. The Lord started dealing with me on the principles and the laws of physics relating to acceleration, so He had me researching what has to happen in order for a plane to lift off and fly. An airplane in flight is the centre of a continuous tug of war between four forces:

  • Lift
  • Gravity force or weight
  • Thrust
  • Drag 

Lift and drag are considered aerodynamic forces because they exist due to the movement of the aircraft through the air. The weight pulls down on the plane opposing the lift created by air flowing over the wing. Thrust is then generated by the propeller and opposes drag caused by air resistance to the frontal area of the airplane. During takeoff, thrust must overcome drag and lift must overcome the weight before the airplane can become airborne.  When the plane is in level flight at constant speed, thrust exactly equals drag and lift exactly equals the weight or gravity force. How does this apply to everyday living in 2016, 2015 was a trying year for many, it was a year of change and repositioning but it was necessary for what will take place in 2016.  In 2016 there will be uncommon favour, there will be a quantum leap but for this to take place there will be opposing forces but you have to know when to stand still and when to move. Last year when I was on the plane travelling to Jamaica, it moved from the terminal and it started moving towards where it would lift off. I noticed we had to wait for a few minutes then the plane started moving really fast then we were in the air .  

What am I saying there will be some opposing forces that will try to come at you, I can feel it even now as I am typing this that some of you are facing opposition, be of good cheer you are being positioned for lift off. That is what will happen in this year, you may feel like things are still going  slow but you are being positioned for lift off. For favour to shine bright in your life, things have to be shaky that’s the only way God can get the glory. In this season, no one can get the glory for what is about to happen in your life. You have to be really careful as to who you connect with in this season as they cannot get the glory for your acceleration. So I hereby declare to you On Your Mark, Get Set, and Accelerate.

God Bless You and Thank You For Reading.

Dream Again 

  

We have entered the year 2016 and many proclamations have been released for this awesome year. In my last blog, I wrote that 2016 is going to be a year of acceleration it is also the year of the Lord’s favour where you will get many things that you did not deserve and rules will be broken so that you can be blessed- I just said something right there Glory.

Just a few days before the ending of 2015, the Lord told me to tell two young ladies that it is time to Dream again. As I told the first individual to Dream again, something erupted in me and I started dreaming on a whole other level. God started giving me a new vision and new dreams. On January 3rd 2016, I had a dream about strategy and goals. These were the two words I heard and I woke up, not understanding what the Lord was saying but I noted it down. By January 5th 2016, the Lord said to me, “if you are expecting acceleration you need to prepare for it as it is not just going to come to you like that, you have to prepare and strategise for these things to happen. With those words I proceeded to create my vision board for 2016. As I started  printing the pictures for my board, I became excited and energetic. Purpose and passion began fuelling on the inside of me. The Lord has inspired me to dream again and I am now daring you to dream again. Start dreaming on purpose, start creating your vision boards and journals, start writing the vision and make it plain (Habakkuk 2:2). 

I want to encourage you to dream big this year. As it is the year of the Lord’s favour and acceleration, start thinking about what it is that you want God to do in your life this year. When you look at your board or journal, it should scare you; In other words dream big. So to everyone who will read this, I dare you to dream again.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

2016- A Year Of Acceleration

  
2015 was a year of transition and change. For me personally, 2015 was a year of major change, losses and grief. On the other hand, it was one of my most productive years to date. In this year, I discovered the real “Me”. However it was at the cost of a high price but it was worth it. There were days when I felt like I was not going to make it. In my season of great vulnerability, I experienced betrayal, mockery, gossip, people looking down on me and through it all the Lord told me to be still. I also experienced some of the greatest people who celebrated me and the gift that God has placed in me.
In August 2015, the Lord kept saying ‘Quantum Leap’, so I proceeded to research the definition of quantum leap which is physics principle.quantum leap is a sudden large increase or advance- it is any sudden and significant change. The Lord started pouring into me that when quantum leap takes place, it is a suddenly- one minute you are broke, the next minute you are wealthy; one minute you are single, the next minute you are engaged to be married. This season is not to be missed and it cannot be taken lightly. It is not by accident that this season of acceleration is happening in the year of Jubilee according to the Jewish calendar 5776. It is a season of restoration where captivity is reversed.  A week before Christmas, the Lord told me to check the calendar for 2016, I noticed it was going to be a leap year and I realised that God was preparing me from August for the New Year.

God showed me that 2015 was a year of positioning, just like in the story of Joseph, he went into the pit then he went to Potiphar’s house only to be accused of rape then thrown into prison. The pit was like a prison so it would seem as if Joseph had gone back to square one or ground level in his life. If you felt like you were demoted or you went back to square one in this year, then I am writing to let you know that 2015 was only positioning you for your leap into purpose in 2016. Joseph’s experiences was only there to position him to meet Pharaoh and provide solutions that he had gained from his monotonous and painful experiences. Your experiences in 2015 will not be wasted, it was only allowed by God to happen to you in order to catapult you into your season of manifestation and acceleration. Time will be restored to you. So in these final 2 days before the new year, I want you to position yourself, spirit, soul and body and remain expectant because God is about to accelerate you beyond your expectations and imagination. Have a happy new year and know that God is with you and He will never leave you or forsake you.

God bless you and thank you for reading.. 

How Intelligent Are You? 

  

I have been thinking a lot about my process and the major changes I have been through over the past few years then my memory of school days came flashing by. I thought of the many things that God had graced me to achieve and I also thought of moments of failure throughout my school years. I came across an article which is the inspiration for this blog (Association For Supervision and Curriculum Development- Thomas Armstrong) that I read in preparation for Release Me which was launched in October. 

Have you ever been made to feel stupid at school because you could not work out an algebra problem or you could not spell a specific word? For me maths was not my strongest point so when I failed maths at GCSE level I was devastated when I had to redo mathematics for a whole year at college. Rather than focus on my strengths my weaknesses were magnified in school. Did you have this issue at school too. I would love to hear from you. But I discovered that psychologists have found that there are nine different types of intelligences. I will expand on each intelligences and you can figure out which one or more of these intelligences applies to you. 

1)Naturalist Intelligence- this ability allows the human ability to discriminate among living things (plants,animals) as well as sensitivity to other features of the natural world (clouds, rock configurations).

2) Musical Intelligence- this intelligence is the capacity to discern pitch, rhythm, timbre, and tone. This intelligence allows one to recognise, create, reproduce and reflect on music, as demonstrated by composers, conductors, musicians, vocalist, and sensitive listeners. 

3) Logical- Mathematical Intelligence(Number/Reasoning Smart)- mathematical intelligence is the ability to calculate, quantify, consider propositions and hypotheses, and carry out complete mathematical operations.

4) Existential Intelligence- sensitivity and capacity to tackle deep questions about human existence, such as the meaning of life, why do we die and how we get here. 

5) Interpersonal Intelligence (People Smart)- interpersonal intelligence is the ability to understand and interact effectively with others. It involves verbal and non verbal communication and the ability to note distinctions among others, sensitivity to the moods and temperaments of others. 

6) Bodily Kinesthetic Intelligence  (Body Smart)- Bodily  Kinesthetic intelligence is the capacity to manipulate objects and use a variety of physical skills.

7) Linguistic Intelligence (Word Smart)- linguistic intelligence is the ability to think in words and to use language to express and appreciate complex meanings.

8) Intra-personal Intelligence (Self Smart)- intrapersonal intelligence is the capacity to understand oneself and one’s thoughts and feelings, and to use such knowledge in planning one’s thoughts and feelings. 

9) Spatial Intelligence (Picture Smart)- spatial intelligence is the ability to think in three dimensions. Core capacities include mental imagery, spatial reasonings, image manipulation, graphic and artistic skills, and an active imagination.

So the next time you feel inferior because you aren’t strong in a specific academic subject or in certain situations remember there are nine categories of intelligences and at least one applies to you.

 God bless you all and thank you for reading. 

Pregnant With A Dream (Part 2)- The Birth

  
In my last blog, I dealt with being pregnant with a dream and I compared it to a woman being pregnant with a child. When it comes to bringing forth your dream, it can be compared to childbirth. There needs to be conception (a prophetic word or vision), an incubation period (waiting) and the birth process (bringing forth the dream).  During the time of waiting is where preparation takes place for the arrival of the baby and the maintenance of the expecting mother (the carrier of the dream). The process of labour and birth can be divided into three stages. When I say mother I am metaphorically speaking to both men and women as there are men carrying dreams too. The birthing process is a metaphor for bringing forth your dream.
Stage One

 Stage one begins when you start having contractions that cause progressive changes in a woman’s cervix and ends when the woman’s cervix is fully dilated. This stage is divided into two phases:

1) Early labour- the woman’s cervix gradually effaces (thins out) and dilates (opens)

2) Active Labour- the woman’s cervix begins to dilate more rapidly and contractions are larger, stronger and closer together. The last part of active labour is often referred to as transition. This is where the womb starts to reject the child. Have you been rejected in an environment that can no longer contain or maintain your dream? In transition, there is a lot of pain that is present, but the purpose of the pain is to usher you into your destiny. Have you been in pain lately? Has your situation intensified? Do you feel overwhelmed, flustered? Do you feel like what you have been carrying on the inside of you is about to explode? It is like something wants to come out. I am here to declare to you that you are about to give birth to your dream. 

Do you feel like when you are finished with one circumstance, another one comes? Do you feel like you are in a whirlwind of chaos and you don’t know how you are coming out? If your answers are yes to these questions, then this blog is for you. The purpose of this blog is to shift your perspective from your pain to your promise and to let you know that in actuality what you are experiencing are contractions. Every crisis is a contraction; the contraction is there for the things holding you back. It positions the mother’s body and prepares her to give birth. Transition ends labour- the suffering stops finally and this is the only time to do nothing but wait- it seems like nothing is happening. In this stage, you must not try to confess or pray or do anything.

Stage Two

The second stage of labour, begins when you are fully dilated and ends with the birth of your baby (dream). This is referred to as the “pushing stage”. Perseverance and consistency is needed – you cannot give up hope, you have to see yourself in possession of it. This is the most difficult part of childbirth- things get worse before they get better. It cannot be avoided- you will always go through this stage before your provision comes in relation to your dream. It is at this stage where it seems like your dream will never arrive- but you cannot give up hope or let go off your faith. Your dream will come to past suddenly when you least expect it- this usually happens when you finally give up trying to make it happen. When you let go off of yourself, then God will take the rest. It is important to understand that when you are pregnant with a dream, you cannot push too early and the baby cannot stay in the womb past the due date as premature and over due delivery of the baby can be detrimental to mother and baby so timing is key when it comes to the delivery of your dream.  

When it comes to the birthing of your baby (dream), your environment and the people you are surrounded by are important for the birthing of your dream. Not everyone can be with you when you are in the delivery room. You have to be in a sterile environment and you have to be surrounded by qualified midwives and doctors and the ones you love, whether it’s your mother or your spouse or your best friend; when it comes to giving birth to your dream, haters are not welcomed in this miraculous moment, it is important to discern who your spiritual midwives are. The next thing to consider is the ability to listen. The expecting woman cannot just push the baby out, you have to listen to the instructions of your midwife- your inability to listen to your midwife will result in  harm to you as the the mother and the baby especially the mother. 

The Birth Experience

This is the most pleasant part- things get better finally. It requires no effort and it happens naturally. The process of cutting the umbilical cord is vital to keeping the baby alive- you could lose your provision at this point. This process involves cutting the baby loose- you have to release your dream into the earth. This requires you letting go off the baby. This is when you rest in the Lord’s provision and stopping all efforts.

Stage Three

The third stage begins right after the birth of the baby and ends with the delivery of the placenta. I call this the after birth. Oftentimes when we give birth to our dreams we forget the after birth and that there is postpartum care that must take place. Here you experience after pains during the first few days after delivery. I call this warfare. So literally hiding in the presence of God is what needs to happen here. I pray that whatever stage you are in carrying your dream, I pray that you will carry it full term in Jesus Name Amen. God bless you and thank you for reading.

Reference

The Birthing Process by Andrea Dillon

The Stages Of Labour- http://www.babycentre.com