The Characteristics Of Self Rejection 

  
Last week I dealt with the characteristics of someone dealing with the fear of rejection. This week I will be dealing with the characteristics of one who is experiencing or who has experienced self rejection. Self rejection is another product of rejection by others. When a person accepts rejection from another, they buy into the lie that they are unworthy of acceptance by themselves- self rejection therefore releases other negative emotions.

Hurt

 When hurt presents itself, the person who is now rejecting themselves, they now feel like they have done everything wrong. In my teenage years I struggled with a lot of hurt. I was aggressive but I was extremely sensitive. By the age of 15-18 years old I struggled with hurt so much that I used to tell myself everyday that I hated me. The hurt I endured in my home and in my childhood made me wish I did not exist. With this came low self esteem.It’s in my mid 20’s that I noticed that this hurt was acting as a blockage to my next level of success and breakthrough. In my teen years to my early 20’s every time I was in the  presence of authoratative figures, I had the feeling of unworthiness and I always felt like “I did something wrong”. It was with this self sabotaging trait that I attracted certain people that had no business being apart of my life and speaking into my life. The minute I starting grasping a sense of who I am, I started shutting some doors on relationships that no longer meant me any good. 

Self Pity

This is the “poor me” syndrome with self pity, one becomes conscious and aware of their inadequacies; they start having the perspective that no one seems to understand or care what is happening to them. I had moments of pity throughout my adolescent years and early adulthood, I started focusing more on what I was weak at rather than what I was good at. But In December 2012, that started to change when I discovered the book ‘The Purpose Driven Life’ that my teacher gave me. I started becoming aware of my purpose and the passions that were buried deep within me. Upon this discovery I stopped focusing on ‘me’ and started looking for those who I was called and purposed to help. This has and is still a journey. Self pity still tried to get me some days but the key is honing in and focusing on your strengths.

Despair

Another word for hopelessness. Despair happens when a person has totally rejected themselves; they cannot see themselves as capable of being loved by others, so they reject the love others are trying to give them. They find it hard to receive gifts and acts of kindness. Despair then leads to a hopeless state of mind. I struggled with the idea of being loved especially after what happened to me when I was 12 years old. So I shut the doors to potential relationships. With that I still believed that I was being processed so I wasn’t available but I still felt unworthy of love because of the many times I was rejected. There weren’t a lot of offers but there was one, I almost missed it because I felt unworthy of his love. God has delivered me, it’s a process. 

Depression

Depression comes with self rejection- this is where the person resigns themselves to the fact that they are useless. Depression then becomes a very thick wall around one that does not  come down easily. For years I struggled with depression, I hid it perfectly with my makeup and beautiful outfits and shoes. From 2014 to now, God has delivered me, there are days when it tries to come back but with persistence in prayer praise and worship and being involved in fulfilling my purpose, depression has had to take a back seat. I am sensitive to the fact that not everyone deals with depression this way, so get the necessary help that you need from counsellors and faith leaders i.e. pastors, elders, ministers etc. 

Isolation

With hopelessness, self rejection leads to the withdrawal from society. There is the preconceived notion that society will never miss you because you have nothing to contribute to it. 

Suicide

Suicide then becomes the ultimate withdrawal. At this stage, there is a desperation that happens that they develop an underlying death wish. Suicide is the ultimate ego trip. Once a person has rejected themself, they are turned in at this point and total attention is on self- they become their own God, even at the point of making the decision to take their own life. At the age of 13, I wanted to end my life but I failed when I felt God’s presence cover me and I heard His voice say it’s not your time to die. When I look at my life now I realise that I was making a permanent decision in a temporary situation. That negative situation will not last forever. God has great plans for you. He has thoughts of peace and not of evil. He plans to give you hope in your final outcome (Jeremiah 29:11 AMP). 

You see the fear of rejection is aggressive so a person who has accepted rejection will show the  physical manifestations of what is happening internally. Whilst self rejection is passive and  is therefore internalised. I want everyone who will read this to know that Jesus loves you and as I write this I feel the burden in your heart, Give it to God He is waiting for you to give it to Him. If you don’t believe in Him, He is waiting to accept you.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

This study on rejection was sourced via http://www.isob-bible.org

The Fear Of Rejection 

  

Last week I wrote about what rejection is and the different forms of rejection. I dealt with the fact that when a person accepts the wound of rejection in their lives, it generates the fear of rejection and self rejection. In this article, I will be  dealing with the characteristics of the fear of rejection.

When a person is wounded by rejection, they recoil at the prospect of being wounded again. The characteristics of the fear of rejection are as follows;

  • Anger

Anger always follows closely behind fear. When a person accepts rejection, they become dependent upon anger as it becomes an excellent barrier to protect them from future rejection of others. This was something I struggled with for years, when I just migrated from Jamaica especially after I was sexually assaulted at the age of 12, I had outbursts of anger, I always got in major arguments on the estate I lived on, and there were times I was close to getting into physical fights. I never fought the girls it was the guys that I went after. When someone would upset me I created a movie in my mind as to how I would make them pay. The metamorphosis that I have just been through took care of the anger that I carried for so many years, God gave me the opportunity to exchange my pain with His peace and love.

  • Hardness

Hardness is another defence mechanism that keeps people away. It’s this “I can do bad all by myself” attitude but deep down inside there is a cry for someone to love you. I experienced this and it took the circumstances of life to bring me to a place of surrender and my prayer became that of Ezekiel 36:26-27. I started asking God to give me a new heart and a new spirit and this is where God started the process of healing.

  • Bitterness

This is where you get bitter  about the situation in which you were wounded. Anger left unattended will start to generate a root of bitterness.

  • Rebellion

Rebellion is an outward expression caused by an inner feeling of rejection. The society that we are now living in where the youth are being classed as rebellious, where a lot of false religions and occultic movements are on the rise are. as a result of rejection. Today’s generation is the fruit of the decisions of yesterday’s generation. Because the older generation have not sought out help to deal with their issues of rejection, it has just been passed down throughout their generations. What this root of rejection has birthed are people suffering with all types of addictions, self harming, joining groups that only seek to manipulate and control and cares nothing about their wellbeing. What this root of rejection has birthed is a generation of people who no longer has a sense of purpose and if they do these wounds act as a barrier to them fulfilling their purpose. Because of this, today’s new age movement, satanic worshippers and cults are able to recruit these people dealing with the wounds of rejection. That is why we have people who have tasted and have witnessed the awesome power of the Holy Ghost just turn away from the church and renounce the name of Jesus, this is what the root of rejection is doing to those who experience it. When the fear of rejection has established a stronghold in a person, they will start to reject others before being rejected themselves. This attitude generates an inability to receive love or to love others. And from this grows rebellion.

  • Addiction

A person can become an addict when they have experienced rejection and when they are unsuccessful in their attempt to reconnect to a loving relationship, they anesthetise their pain, this can be through drugs, sex, self destructive habits such as self harming, eating disorders and many more habits. You see when love is denied somebody, the door is open for satan to step in. 

I pray that these points have helped you identify what happens when a person has the fear of rejection. It is my prayer that God will heal every wound of rejection that may have manifested in one of these characteristics. Know that God loves you and that He accepts you. He died for you and He is waiting to deliver you and heal you of your wounds but He can only do this if you let Him in. 

God bless you and thank you for reading.

This study on rejection was sourced via http://www.isob-bible.org

The Pain Of Rejection 

  
For the last week, I have been carrying this topic in my spirit. I started to feel the burden of those who have and are currently suffering from the pain of rejection. The Lord started dealing with me on the effects of rejection especially on the body of Christ. I have to be honest, I ran away from this subject because I discovered in 2015 that this was the root of a lot of my personal life experience where God had to take me  through a process of healing; but the Holy Ghost got a hold of me and I had to surrender because I realised that there are souls out there who are crying out in silence because they have been rejected by loved ones, their spiritual leaders and even certain groups within society and this has left a huge impact on them which has prevented them from tapping into their full potential due to fear of being rejected . Rejection is the root of most problems that humans face today. Love propels a person to do great things but rejection blocks a person’s potential.

So What Is Rejection? 

Rejection is the dismissing or refusing of a proposal idea-It is the action of spurning a person’s affection. Feeling rejected is the opposite of feeling accepted- it is the denial of love and acceptance in one’s life. Rejection and the fear of rejection plays a major part in the development of the character of every human being- one of the products of rejection is a broken spirit. Rejection is one of the most neglected, yet one of the most common emotional wounds from which one suffers. There are different forms of rejection:

  • Slighting
  • Shunning 
  • Spurning
  • Denial
  • Ignoring
  • Neglecting
  • Avoiding and Disapproving

Love is an essential need in every human being’s life. God designed it that way that we would need each other and we would need love. As people grow spiritually, they are able to handle rejection better than they could when they were young but it does not diminish how painful rejection is. No matter how old or young you are rejection still hurts. People who experience rejection, tend to react by building walls. I have discovered that rejection is a perception issue, it may not have been intended but that is how it was perceived. Rejection has to be accepted for it to have an effect on a person’s life. Rejection requires a reaction for it to bring forth fruit in a person’s life. If I don’t respond to rejection then it is not rejection at all. My mentor told me a few years ago that running after someone who has rejected you adds more to your pain but if you are not running after the rejector, then rejection has no effect on you.

When a person accepts the wound of rejection in their lives, it generates one of two things-

  1. Fear of Rejection- when a person is wounded by rejection, they recoil at the prospect of being wounded again. For example, a person who has been wounded by an authority figure in their lives, their natural reaction is to fear authority and guard themselves when they are in the presence of authority figures. The fear of being hurt causes the individual to put up defence mechanisms and this is where the development of distrust for everyone’s motives take place.
  2. Self Rejection- After a person has accepted rejection in their lives for an extended period of time, they begin to reject themselves. They start believing that they are unworthy and unacceptable by others. Both the fear of rejection and self rejection controls one’s behaviour which then starts generating unhealthy fruit. Rejection from loved ones will make one think that they are unacceptable or unqualified or unworthy. 

I will be dealing with rejection over the next few weeks. In my next blog , I will be dealing with the characteristics of the fear of rejection and self rejection. God bless you and thank you for reading.

Study on rejection was conducted on http://www.isob-bible.org.

On Your Mark Get Set & Accelerate 

  

Still focusing on the subject of acceleration, I am truly excited about the acceleration that is about to take place in the lives of many this year. The Lord started dealing with me on the principles and the laws of physics relating to acceleration, so He had me researching what has to happen in order for a plane to lift off and fly. An airplane in flight is the centre of a continuous tug of war between four forces:

  • Lift
  • Gravity force or weight
  • Thrust
  • Drag 

Lift and drag are considered aerodynamic forces because they exist due to the movement of the aircraft through the air. The weight pulls down on the plane opposing the lift created by air flowing over the wing. Thrust is then generated by the propeller and opposes drag caused by air resistance to the frontal area of the airplane. During takeoff, thrust must overcome drag and lift must overcome the weight before the airplane can become airborne.  When the plane is in level flight at constant speed, thrust exactly equals drag and lift exactly equals the weight or gravity force. How does this apply to everyday living in 2016, 2015 was a trying year for many, it was a year of change and repositioning but it was necessary for what will take place in 2016.  In 2016 there will be uncommon favour, there will be a quantum leap but for this to take place there will be opposing forces but you have to know when to stand still and when to move. Last year when I was on the plane travelling to Jamaica, it moved from the terminal and it started moving towards where it would lift off. I noticed we had to wait for a few minutes then the plane started moving really fast then we were in the air .  

What am I saying there will be some opposing forces that will try to come at you, I can feel it even now as I am typing this that some of you are facing opposition, be of good cheer you are being positioned for lift off. That is what will happen in this year, you may feel like things are still going  slow but you are being positioned for lift off. For favour to shine bright in your life, things have to be shaky that’s the only way God can get the glory. In this season, no one can get the glory for what is about to happen in your life. You have to be really careful as to who you connect with in this season as they cannot get the glory for your acceleration. So I hereby declare to you On Your Mark, Get Set, and Accelerate.

God Bless You and Thank You For Reading.

2016- A Year Of Acceleration

  
2015 was a year of transition and change. For me personally, 2015 was a year of major change, losses and grief. On the other hand, it was one of my most productive years to date. In this year, I discovered the real “Me”. However it was at the cost of a high price but it was worth it. There were days when I felt like I was not going to make it. In my season of great vulnerability, I experienced betrayal, mockery, gossip, people looking down on me and through it all the Lord told me to be still. I also experienced some of the greatest people who celebrated me and the gift that God has placed in me.
In August 2015, the Lord kept saying ‘Quantum Leap’, so I proceeded to research the definition of quantum leap which is physics principle.quantum leap is a sudden large increase or advance- it is any sudden and significant change. The Lord started pouring into me that when quantum leap takes place, it is a suddenly- one minute you are broke, the next minute you are wealthy; one minute you are single, the next minute you are engaged to be married. This season is not to be missed and it cannot be taken lightly. It is not by accident that this season of acceleration is happening in the year of Jubilee according to the Jewish calendar 5776. It is a season of restoration where captivity is reversed.  A week before Christmas, the Lord told me to check the calendar for 2016, I noticed it was going to be a leap year and I realised that God was preparing me from August for the New Year.

God showed me that 2015 was a year of positioning, just like in the story of Joseph, he went into the pit then he went to Potiphar’s house only to be accused of rape then thrown into prison. The pit was like a prison so it would seem as if Joseph had gone back to square one or ground level in his life. If you felt like you were demoted or you went back to square one in this year, then I am writing to let you know that 2015 was only positioning you for your leap into purpose in 2016. Joseph’s experiences was only there to position him to meet Pharaoh and provide solutions that he had gained from his monotonous and painful experiences. Your experiences in 2015 will not be wasted, it was only allowed by God to happen to you in order to catapult you into your season of manifestation and acceleration. Time will be restored to you. So in these final 2 days before the new year, I want you to position yourself, spirit, soul and body and remain expectant because God is about to accelerate you beyond your expectations and imagination. Have a happy new year and know that God is with you and He will never leave you or forsake you.

God bless you and thank you for reading.. 

Overcoming The Barriers To Stepping Out Into The Unknown 

  

There are many barriers to stepping out into the unknown. The last time I blogged, I dealt with stepping out into the unknown and I used the example of Abraham in Genesis chapter 12 verse 1, where God told Him to leave His country and kindred (his relatives) and go to a place where He will show him. This was a word of direction as it was vague and not very clear. 

Like Abraham, I received a word of direction. In fact God gave me this scripture to confirm His word for me to step out into the unknown. I said yes to the Lord and I thought that because of my obedience , everything was going to be easy for me. But just a few months later after taking my first step, I noticed that I had a few barriers that I had to overcome before stepping into my place of destiny for this season. There were many barriers but the main barrier was fear. I experienced fear in three different areas and these were:

  • Fear of the unknown 
  • Fear of the opinions of man 
  • Fear of failure 

Everyone who goes through transition will face fear in these three different areas. The Israelites struggled with these barriers in the wilderness when they were getting ready to possess their promised land.

Fear Of The Unknown

Fear of the unknown is the fear of stepping out of your comfort zone. It is the fear of stepping out into unfamiliar territory. However there is a danger to this when transition presents itself in your life, it is the opportunity to step into a new dimension, a new level. Transition does not wait for no man. When an individual miss their call to transition, the next step after this is falling into a rut and a season of stagnancy and unproductivity. The Lord has had me working on a project so here is a little snippet into what He revealed to me. In Mark chapter 11, we read about the fig tree; Jesus saw a fig tree in verse 13, as He was hungry, He proceeded to take a fruit from the tree, but there was no fruit yet the tree had leaves. The scripture clearly states that the time of figs was not yet but Jesus cursed the tree. I said to the Lord that was harsh until I looked deeper I understand why. God showed me that though it was not time (chronus- chronological time) for the tree to bring forth, Jesus had showed up (Kairos moment- opportunity, a moment where God changes everything). This was a kairos moment for the tree to bring forth but it still did not. According to agriculture, when fig trees had leaves, this was a sign that there were going to be fruits. When there were leaves, there should have been little knobs on the tree that people could pick and eat.

So the fact that there were leaves and no knobs meant that the tree had potential but was not bringing forth. It is the same for us as believers. The opportunity to step out into the unknown is never convenient but it is necessary. God will not show up with this instruction when you expect Him to. He will require you to step out in inconvenient seasons of your life. But your entire future depends on it. When God told me to step out I was unemployed with no money. God has planted a seed of greatness on the inside of you and He will show up expecting fruit. Do not be like this tree who because it did not bare fruit it was cursed,  and cursed in this context is stagnancy, barrenness and unproductivity and if you are in this place of stagnancy, all you have to do is repent for your disobedience and say yes. That is all it takes for you to get back on track. Isn’t God great!!! So  I challenge you today, step out into the unknown. Fear and faith cannot operate at the same time so make an exchange with God and use His faith to step out into the unknown and God will move in a mighty way not just in your life but in your family and generations . It is my prayer that God will increase your faith and give you courage to step out into the unknown in Jesus Name I pray amen. I will deal with the other barriers in part two of this blog. 

God bless you and thank you for reading.