Category: Psychology

The Pain Of Rejection 

  
For the last week, I have been carrying this topic in my spirit. I started to feel the burden of those who have and are currently suffering from the pain of rejection. The Lord started dealing with me on the effects of rejection especially on the body of Christ. I have to be honest, I ran away from this subject because I discovered in 2015 that this was the root of a lot of my personal life experience where God had to take me  through a process of healing; but the Holy Ghost got a hold of me and I had to surrender because I realised that there are souls out there who are crying out in silence because they have been rejected by loved ones, their spiritual leaders and even certain groups within society and this has left a huge impact on them which has prevented them from tapping into their full potential due to fear of being rejected . Rejection is the root of most problems that humans face today. Love propels a person to do great things but rejection blocks a person’s potential.

So What Is Rejection? 

Rejection is the dismissing or refusing of a proposal idea-It is the action of spurning a person’s affection. Feeling rejected is the opposite of feeling accepted- it is the denial of love and acceptance in one’s life. Rejection and the fear of rejection plays a major part in the development of the character of every human being- one of the products of rejection is a broken spirit. Rejection is one of the most neglected, yet one of the most common emotional wounds from which one suffers. There are different forms of rejection:

  • Slighting
  • Shunning 
  • Spurning
  • Denial
  • Ignoring
  • Neglecting
  • Avoiding and Disapproving

Love is an essential need in every human being’s life. God designed it that way that we would need each other and we would need love. As people grow spiritually, they are able to handle rejection better than they could when they were young but it does not diminish how painful rejection is. No matter how old or young you are rejection still hurts. People who experience rejection, tend to react by building walls. I have discovered that rejection is a perception issue, it may not have been intended but that is how it was perceived. Rejection has to be accepted for it to have an effect on a person’s life. Rejection requires a reaction for it to bring forth fruit in a person’s life. If I don’t respond to rejection then it is not rejection at all. My mentor told me a few years ago that running after someone who has rejected you adds more to your pain but if you are not running after the rejector, then rejection has no effect on you.

When a person accepts the wound of rejection in their lives, it generates one of two things-

  1. Fear of Rejection- when a person is wounded by rejection, they recoil at the prospect of being wounded again. For example, a person who has been wounded by an authority figure in their lives, their natural reaction is to fear authority and guard themselves when they are in the presence of authority figures. The fear of being hurt causes the individual to put up defence mechanisms and this is where the development of distrust for everyone’s motives take place.
  2. Self Rejection- After a person has accepted rejection in their lives for an extended period of time, they begin to reject themselves. They start believing that they are unworthy and unacceptable by others. Both the fear of rejection and self rejection controls one’s behaviour which then starts generating unhealthy fruit. Rejection from loved ones will make one think that they are unacceptable or unqualified or unworthy. 

I will be dealing with rejection over the next few weeks. In my next blog , I will be dealing with the characteristics of the fear of rejection and self rejection. God bless you and thank you for reading.

Study on rejection was conducted on http://www.isob-bible.org.

Dream Again 

  

We have entered the year 2016 and many proclamations have been released for this awesome year. In my last blog, I wrote that 2016 is going to be a year of acceleration it is also the year of the Lord’s favour where you will get many things that you did not deserve and rules will be broken so that you can be blessed- I just said something right there Glory.

Just a few days before the ending of 2015, the Lord told me to tell two young ladies that it is time to Dream again. As I told the first individual to Dream again, something erupted in me and I started dreaming on a whole other level. God started giving me a new vision and new dreams. On January 3rd 2016, I had a dream about strategy and goals. These were the two words I heard and I woke up, not understanding what the Lord was saying but I noted it down. By January 5th 2016, the Lord said to me, “if you are expecting acceleration you need to prepare for it as it is not just going to come to you like that, you have to prepare and strategise for these things to happen. With those words I proceeded to create my vision board for 2016. As I started  printing the pictures for my board, I became excited and energetic. Purpose and passion began fuelling on the inside of me. The Lord has inspired me to dream again and I am now daring you to dream again. Start dreaming on purpose, start creating your vision boards and journals, start writing the vision and make it plain (Habakkuk 2:2). 

I want to encourage you to dream big this year. As it is the year of the Lord’s favour and acceleration, start thinking about what it is that you want God to do in your life this year. When you look at your board or journal, it should scare you; In other words dream big. So to everyone who will read this, I dare you to dream again.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

How Intelligent Are You? 

  

I have been thinking a lot about my process and the major changes I have been through over the past few years then my memory of school days came flashing by. I thought of the many things that God had graced me to achieve and I also thought of moments of failure throughout my school years. I came across an article which is the inspiration for this blog (Association For Supervision and Curriculum Development- Thomas Armstrong) that I read in preparation for Release Me which was launched in October. 

Have you ever been made to feel stupid at school because you could not work out an algebra problem or you could not spell a specific word? For me maths was not my strongest point so when I failed maths at GCSE level I was devastated when I had to redo mathematics for a whole year at college. Rather than focus on my strengths my weaknesses were magnified in school. Did you have this issue at school too. I would love to hear from you. But I discovered that psychologists have found that there are nine different types of intelligences. I will expand on each intelligences and you can figure out which one or more of these intelligences applies to you. 

1)Naturalist Intelligence- this ability allows the human ability to discriminate among living things (plants,animals) as well as sensitivity to other features of the natural world (clouds, rock configurations).

2) Musical Intelligence- this intelligence is the capacity to discern pitch, rhythm, timbre, and tone. This intelligence allows one to recognise, create, reproduce and reflect on music, as demonstrated by composers, conductors, musicians, vocalist, and sensitive listeners. 

3) Logical- Mathematical Intelligence(Number/Reasoning Smart)- mathematical intelligence is the ability to calculate, quantify, consider propositions and hypotheses, and carry out complete mathematical operations.

4) Existential Intelligence- sensitivity and capacity to tackle deep questions about human existence, such as the meaning of life, why do we die and how we get here. 

5) Interpersonal Intelligence (People Smart)- interpersonal intelligence is the ability to understand and interact effectively with others. It involves verbal and non verbal communication and the ability to note distinctions among others, sensitivity to the moods and temperaments of others. 

6) Bodily Kinesthetic Intelligence  (Body Smart)- Bodily  Kinesthetic intelligence is the capacity to manipulate objects and use a variety of physical skills.

7) Linguistic Intelligence (Word Smart)- linguistic intelligence is the ability to think in words and to use language to express and appreciate complex meanings.

8) Intra-personal Intelligence (Self Smart)- intrapersonal intelligence is the capacity to understand oneself and one’s thoughts and feelings, and to use such knowledge in planning one’s thoughts and feelings. 

9) Spatial Intelligence (Picture Smart)- spatial intelligence is the ability to think in three dimensions. Core capacities include mental imagery, spatial reasonings, image manipulation, graphic and artistic skills, and an active imagination.

So the next time you feel inferior because you aren’t strong in a specific academic subject or in certain situations remember there are nine categories of intelligences and at least one applies to you.

 God bless you all and thank you for reading.