The Characteristics Of Self Rejection 

  
Last week I dealt with the characteristics of someone dealing with the fear of rejection. This week I will be dealing with the characteristics of one who is experiencing or who has experienced self rejection. Self rejection is another product of rejection by others. When a person accepts rejection from another, they buy into the lie that they are unworthy of acceptance by themselves- self rejection therefore releases other negative emotions.

Hurt

 When hurt presents itself, the person who is now rejecting themselves, they now feel like they have done everything wrong. In my teenage years I struggled with a lot of hurt. I was aggressive but I was extremely sensitive. By the age of 15-18 years old I struggled with hurt so much that I used to tell myself everyday that I hated me. The hurt I endured in my home and in my childhood made me wish I did not exist. With this came low self esteem.It’s in my mid 20’s that I noticed that this hurt was acting as a blockage to my next level of success and breakthrough. In my teen years to my early 20’s every time I was in the  presence of authoratative figures, I had the feeling of unworthiness and I always felt like “I did something wrong”. It was with this self sabotaging trait that I attracted certain people that had no business being apart of my life and speaking into my life. The minute I starting grasping a sense of who I am, I started shutting some doors on relationships that no longer meant me any good. 

Self Pity

This is the “poor me” syndrome with self pity, one becomes conscious and aware of their inadequacies; they start having the perspective that no one seems to understand or care what is happening to them. I had moments of pity throughout my adolescent years and early adulthood, I started focusing more on what I was weak at rather than what I was good at. But In December 2012, that started to change when I discovered the book ‘The Purpose Driven Life’ that my teacher gave me. I started becoming aware of my purpose and the passions that were buried deep within me. Upon this discovery I stopped focusing on ‘me’ and started looking for those who I was called and purposed to help. This has and is still a journey. Self pity still tried to get me some days but the key is honing in and focusing on your strengths.

Despair

Another word for hopelessness. Despair happens when a person has totally rejected themselves; they cannot see themselves as capable of being loved by others, so they reject the love others are trying to give them. They find it hard to receive gifts and acts of kindness. Despair then leads to a hopeless state of mind. I struggled with the idea of being loved especially after what happened to me when I was 12 years old. So I shut the doors to potential relationships. With that I still believed that I was being processed so I wasn’t available but I still felt unworthy of love because of the many times I was rejected. There weren’t a lot of offers but there was one, I almost missed it because I felt unworthy of his love. God has delivered me, it’s a process. 

Depression

Depression comes with self rejection- this is where the person resigns themselves to the fact that they are useless. Depression then becomes a very thick wall around one that does not  come down easily. For years I struggled with depression, I hid it perfectly with my makeup and beautiful outfits and shoes. From 2014 to now, God has delivered me, there are days when it tries to come back but with persistence in prayer praise and worship and being involved in fulfilling my purpose, depression has had to take a back seat. I am sensitive to the fact that not everyone deals with depression this way, so get the necessary help that you need from counsellors and faith leaders i.e. pastors, elders, ministers etc. 

Isolation

With hopelessness, self rejection leads to the withdrawal from society. There is the preconceived notion that society will never miss you because you have nothing to contribute to it. 

Suicide

Suicide then becomes the ultimate withdrawal. At this stage, there is a desperation that happens that they develop an underlying death wish. Suicide is the ultimate ego trip. Once a person has rejected themself, they are turned in at this point and total attention is on self- they become their own God, even at the point of making the decision to take their own life. At the age of 13, I wanted to end my life but I failed when I felt God’s presence cover me and I heard His voice say it’s not your time to die. When I look at my life now I realise that I was making a permanent decision in a temporary situation. That negative situation will not last forever. God has great plans for you. He has thoughts of peace and not of evil. He plans to give you hope in your final outcome (Jeremiah 29:11 AMP). 

You see the fear of rejection is aggressive so a person who has accepted rejection will show the  physical manifestations of what is happening internally. Whilst self rejection is passive and  is therefore internalised. I want everyone who will read this to know that Jesus loves you and as I write this I feel the burden in your heart, Give it to God He is waiting for you to give it to Him. If you don’t believe in Him, He is waiting to accept you.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

This study on rejection was sourced via http://www.isob-bible.org

Pregnant With A Dream (Part 2)- The Birth

  
In my last blog, I dealt with being pregnant with a dream and I compared it to a woman being pregnant with a child. When it comes to bringing forth your dream, it can be compared to childbirth. There needs to be conception (a prophetic word or vision), an incubation period (waiting) and the birth process (bringing forth the dream).  During the time of waiting is where preparation takes place for the arrival of the baby and the maintenance of the expecting mother (the carrier of the dream). The process of labour and birth can be divided into three stages. When I say mother I am metaphorically speaking to both men and women as there are men carrying dreams too. The birthing process is a metaphor for bringing forth your dream.
Stage One

 Stage one begins when you start having contractions that cause progressive changes in a woman’s cervix and ends when the woman’s cervix is fully dilated. This stage is divided into two phases:

1) Early labour- the woman’s cervix gradually effaces (thins out) and dilates (opens)

2) Active Labour- the woman’s cervix begins to dilate more rapidly and contractions are larger, stronger and closer together. The last part of active labour is often referred to as transition. This is where the womb starts to reject the child. Have you been rejected in an environment that can no longer contain or maintain your dream? In transition, there is a lot of pain that is present, but the purpose of the pain is to usher you into your destiny. Have you been in pain lately? Has your situation intensified? Do you feel overwhelmed, flustered? Do you feel like what you have been carrying on the inside of you is about to explode? It is like something wants to come out. I am here to declare to you that you are about to give birth to your dream. 

Do you feel like when you are finished with one circumstance, another one comes? Do you feel like you are in a whirlwind of chaos and you don’t know how you are coming out? If your answers are yes to these questions, then this blog is for you. The purpose of this blog is to shift your perspective from your pain to your promise and to let you know that in actuality what you are experiencing are contractions. Every crisis is a contraction; the contraction is there for the things holding you back. It positions the mother’s body and prepares her to give birth. Transition ends labour- the suffering stops finally and this is the only time to do nothing but wait- it seems like nothing is happening. In this stage, you must not try to confess or pray or do anything.

Stage Two

The second stage of labour, begins when you are fully dilated and ends with the birth of your baby (dream). This is referred to as the “pushing stage”. Perseverance and consistency is needed – you cannot give up hope, you have to see yourself in possession of it. This is the most difficult part of childbirth- things get worse before they get better. It cannot be avoided- you will always go through this stage before your provision comes in relation to your dream. It is at this stage where it seems like your dream will never arrive- but you cannot give up hope or let go off your faith. Your dream will come to past suddenly when you least expect it- this usually happens when you finally give up trying to make it happen. When you let go off of yourself, then God will take the rest. It is important to understand that when you are pregnant with a dream, you cannot push too early and the baby cannot stay in the womb past the due date as premature and over due delivery of the baby can be detrimental to mother and baby so timing is key when it comes to the delivery of your dream.  

When it comes to the birthing of your baby (dream), your environment and the people you are surrounded by are important for the birthing of your dream. Not everyone can be with you when you are in the delivery room. You have to be in a sterile environment and you have to be surrounded by qualified midwives and doctors and the ones you love, whether it’s your mother or your spouse or your best friend; when it comes to giving birth to your dream, haters are not welcomed in this miraculous moment, it is important to discern who your spiritual midwives are. The next thing to consider is the ability to listen. The expecting woman cannot just push the baby out, you have to listen to the instructions of your midwife- your inability to listen to your midwife will result in  harm to you as the the mother and the baby especially the mother. 

The Birth Experience

This is the most pleasant part- things get better finally. It requires no effort and it happens naturally. The process of cutting the umbilical cord is vital to keeping the baby alive- you could lose your provision at this point. This process involves cutting the baby loose- you have to release your dream into the earth. This requires you letting go off the baby. This is when you rest in the Lord’s provision and stopping all efforts.

Stage Three

The third stage begins right after the birth of the baby and ends with the delivery of the placenta. I call this the after birth. Oftentimes when we give birth to our dreams we forget the after birth and that there is postpartum care that must take place. Here you experience after pains during the first few days after delivery. I call this warfare. So literally hiding in the presence of God is what needs to happen here. I pray that whatever stage you are in carrying your dream, I pray that you will carry it full term in Jesus Name Amen. God bless you and thank you for reading.

Reference

The Birthing Process by Andrea Dillon

The Stages Of Labour- http://www.babycentre.com

Pregnant With A Dream 

  
The last few days I have been thinking about the process of giving birth. I just launched a dream that God had placed in my heart since May 2013. It felt like I had given birth. Though I have never given birth physically yet, the Lord showed me that I was going through the process of giving birth spiritually. 

When a woman first finds out that she is pregnant, she does not tell everyone, she will wait a few weeks before she announces her good news. When a dream is conceived in you, you have to keep that dream to yourself for a season as there are a group of people out there who have allowed themselves to be employed as dream killers. Guard your dream like your whole life depends on it. Secondly, there is a nine month waiting period after conception. The same day you get the dream, is not the same day you will give birth to it. The waiting period is there to allow the baby to develop and grow, your dream has to be developed and you have to prepare for your dream. The waiting period is there for you to study and to prepare for what you are about to give birth to.Thirdly, the expecting mother starts to change her diet to make sure that both her and her baby are healthy . When a dream is conceived in you, you have to feed it with the word of God, worship and surround yourself with positivity. You cannot allow yourself to be stressed out. Your environment has to be conducive for the growth taking place on the inside of you.

Fourthly, she will start to surround herself with other expecting mothers. Your social circle has to change. You have to surround yourself with other people who are carrying a dream as well. When Mary conceived Jesus, she went to  stay with Elizabeth her cousin who was also expecting; only Elizabeth would have been able to understand the supernatural experience as Elizabeth had a similar experience(Luke 1:39-45).You have to surround yourself with like minded people in this season of your life. There are different symptoms that come with different stages within pregnancy. Most women experience morning sickness and a mirage of other things. When you first conceive your dream, you may have anxiety, you will feel fearful, you will start to disqualify yourself, you will go through emotional changes, you will be happy and excited.The mother’s belly will start to grow as the baby grows, as you grow, your dream will start to grow as well. When you get a dream, you don’t get the full picture, it will start as an embryo, then it will grow until it reaches full term. 

How you know that you are getting ready to give birth to your dream, is that you will start to feel pain in the form of life’s circumstances. You will start to feel braxton hicks (false labour- prepares you for the real birth). When the real labour is here, your waters will break and the pain will intensify. At the beginning of September, I started crying for no reason, the Lord showed me that my waters had broken in the spirit. The warfare became intense, but it was not yet time to push. When a woman’s water is broken, she still has to wait until she is 10cm dilated before she can give birth. I want to encourage you that you are pregnant with a dream. Whether you are 3,6 or 9 months pregnant, hold on because the day for you to give birth is coming. For some of you reading this, your time is now. Stay tuned for part 2.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

Overcoming Barriers To Stepping Out Into The Unknown- Part 2

In my last blog, I said that there are many barriers to stepping out into the unknown. But I decided to deal with three and those are;

Fear of the Unknown
Fear of other people’s opinions
Fear of failure

I dealt with the first barrier to stepping out into the unknown and that was fear of the unknown. So the next barrier I would like to deal with is the fear of other people’s opinions.

Fear Of Other People’s Opinions

This was one of my biggest fears. Stepping out into the unknown was scary but exciting at the same time. When I took my first step to leaving my familiar surroundings, there was one thing that slowed down my progress. I was constantly concerned about what other people were thinking about me. It was so bad that my mentors at the time confronted me about it and I had to admit it that I was actually concerned about what others thought of me and my journey. It was so bad that it almost cost me my destiny. That changed when God asked me the question’ Who Are You?’. When He told me who I was in His eyes, the desire to please others just disappeared. I now developed a Godfidence that is what I call it, it is a God kind of confidence. The root of people pleasing stems from insecurities and rejection, the constant need to be approved by others. I recognised this in myself that throughout my childhood nothing was ever good enough in my home and where I attended church for a period of time. There was a constant pressure to be perfect and it was in November when God started to reveal these flaws to me. That season was a ‘river Jordan experience’, this was where all of the not so nice things started coming to the surface. I overcame this barrier by spending more time with the Lord and reading His word concerning my life. I spent more time in worship, I worked out which had an effect on my mental and emotional health. I posted affirmations around my apartment and on my bathroom mirror. So everyday I was empowering myself in God’s word to be who He had called me to be. The result of this was I stopped worrying about what others thought of me. It is a beautiful feeling when you no longer focus on the negative opinions of others.

Fear of Failure

The third barrier is the fear of failure. I believe everyone at some point in their life will experienced this. Everyone at some point including me have failed in one way or the other. I read this a while ago and it said, “failure is success turned inside out”. Failure is just an opportunity to learn something that you never knew before. I had so many moments in my journey when I said to God, please don’t let me fail but I now look at failure in a different way. Failure is my opportunity to learn something new. Some of my greatest lessons came from my experiences of failures and mistakes. I relied and still rely on 2 Corinthians 12:7-9. God’s grace is sufficient for me. The Lord took me to Matthew chapter 25:14-30, this is about the servants who received the five, two and one talents. When you read from verse 24-30, you see that the servant with the one talent did not multiply his talents because he was afraid. Verse 30 shows us the end result for this servant. God is not asking you to be perfect, He just wants you to say yes. God likes risk takers, just like Peter in Matthew 14:24-31, he stepped out of the boat and even though he started sinking, God was there to catch him. Do not be afraid of failing, even if you feel like you are going to fail, know that God will turn it for your good, Romans 8:28.

God bless you and thank you for reading

Overcoming The Barriers To Stepping Out Into The Unknown 

  

There are many barriers to stepping out into the unknown. The last time I blogged, I dealt with stepping out into the unknown and I used the example of Abraham in Genesis chapter 12 verse 1, where God told Him to leave His country and kindred (his relatives) and go to a place where He will show him. This was a word of direction as it was vague and not very clear. 

Like Abraham, I received a word of direction. In fact God gave me this scripture to confirm His word for me to step out into the unknown. I said yes to the Lord and I thought that because of my obedience , everything was going to be easy for me. But just a few months later after taking my first step, I noticed that I had a few barriers that I had to overcome before stepping into my place of destiny for this season. There were many barriers but the main barrier was fear. I experienced fear in three different areas and these were:

  • Fear of the unknown 
  • Fear of the opinions of man 
  • Fear of failure 

Everyone who goes through transition will face fear in these three different areas. The Israelites struggled with these barriers in the wilderness when they were getting ready to possess their promised land.

Fear Of The Unknown

Fear of the unknown is the fear of stepping out of your comfort zone. It is the fear of stepping out into unfamiliar territory. However there is a danger to this when transition presents itself in your life, it is the opportunity to step into a new dimension, a new level. Transition does not wait for no man. When an individual miss their call to transition, the next step after this is falling into a rut and a season of stagnancy and unproductivity. The Lord has had me working on a project so here is a little snippet into what He revealed to me. In Mark chapter 11, we read about the fig tree; Jesus saw a fig tree in verse 13, as He was hungry, He proceeded to take a fruit from the tree, but there was no fruit yet the tree had leaves. The scripture clearly states that the time of figs was not yet but Jesus cursed the tree. I said to the Lord that was harsh until I looked deeper I understand why. God showed me that though it was not time (chronus- chronological time) for the tree to bring forth, Jesus had showed up (Kairos moment- opportunity, a moment where God changes everything). This was a kairos moment for the tree to bring forth but it still did not. According to agriculture, when fig trees had leaves, this was a sign that there were going to be fruits. When there were leaves, there should have been little knobs on the tree that people could pick and eat.

So the fact that there were leaves and no knobs meant that the tree had potential but was not bringing forth. It is the same for us as believers. The opportunity to step out into the unknown is never convenient but it is necessary. God will not show up with this instruction when you expect Him to. He will require you to step out in inconvenient seasons of your life. But your entire future depends on it. When God told me to step out I was unemployed with no money. God has planted a seed of greatness on the inside of you and He will show up expecting fruit. Do not be like this tree who because it did not bare fruit it was cursed,  and cursed in this context is stagnancy, barrenness and unproductivity and if you are in this place of stagnancy, all you have to do is repent for your disobedience and say yes. That is all it takes for you to get back on track. Isn’t God great!!! So  I challenge you today, step out into the unknown. Fear and faith cannot operate at the same time so make an exchange with God and use His faith to step out into the unknown and God will move in a mighty way not just in your life but in your family and generations . It is my prayer that God will increase your faith and give you courage to step out into the unknown in Jesus Name I pray amen. I will deal with the other barriers in part two of this blog. 

God bless you and thank you for reading. 

Total Life Changes Will Change Your Life Totally!!!!

Are you struggling with weight loss and fatigue? Are you tired of being sick and tired? If your answers to these questions are yes, then today that can all change for you. Total Life Changes is a global company who offers high valued health products for affordable prices to help to maintain overall health and stamina and to combat weight issues.  In this blog, I will be focusing on the different ranges of products that promises to shift that stubborn weight and products that provide healthy energy.

Iaso Tea/Cafe Delgada

Firstly we have the Iaso tea which promises a loss of up to 5lbs in 5 days. This product varies, some people will lose 2-5lbs. I lost over 5lbs (Check out my blog April 2015) where I talk about the benefits I had experienced and have continued to experience after drinking this tea. According to estimates from public health England, two thirds of adults and a quarter of children between two and 10 years old are overweight and obese. The Iaso Tea is a solution to this problem. For all the coffee lovers, we also have Cafe Delgada, a weightloss coffee which has fewer calories and is combined with Garcinia Cambodia and has 100% pure Ganoderma extract which are two powerful plants that supports in weightloss.

   


HCG/Resolution Drops 

The second product is the HCG/ Resolution drops, with this product, you can lose up to 2lbs per day the healthy way. With this product, there are no secondary harmful effects. the drops reprogram your hypothalamus and your fat deposits. It forms your muscle tissue. It accelerates your metabolism and there is no regain of lost weight. How you take this product is you can take between 10-12 drops on your tongue. I suggest before using this product as well as the Iaso Tea, do check with your GP or medical adviser before consuming the drops and the tea.

NRG

Thirdly, we have the NRG- this is a pure energy supplement with a synergetic blend of natural ingredients with minerals to help to reduce and control your weight. This product combats physical and mental tiredness. It improves performance without loss of energy. it also controls your appetite and you lose weight faster and there are no secondary side effects.


Chaga

Chaga is a Siberian chag a extract which is one of the most powerful , yet gentle health supplements known to man. It is 100% non-toxic and can be taken safely at any age. chag a eliminates parasites, purifies the blood, it regulates and lowers blood pressure. Chag a also regulates and lowers cholesterol. The Chaga strengthens the immune system and protects the cardiovascular system and renews your organs.


NutraBurst

This whole food liquid formula concentrate is packed with a full spectrum of vitamins and minerals in just a single tablespoon. NutraBurst has 72 minerals , 19 amino acids, 22 fruits/vegetables vita nutrients and 13 whole food greens. One tablespoon is equivalent to 10 salads.


Emu Oil

This product is amazing both on the hair and skin. It has 100% pure natural emu oil and it provides moisturising, rehydrating, healing and penetrating properties which will allow your skin to look and feel it’s best naturally. in three days you will see even skin tone. Customers have reported improvement on bald patches in hair and when applied to aching joints, they saw and felt an improvement after applying the emu oil. To all the eczema and psoriasis sufferers who are reading this will not be disappointed.


Total Life Changes is a reputable company with amazing products. Check out my website on   www.totallifechanges.com/dahnaf to order these products and if you would love to join my team, please do not hesitate to email me on totallifechanges101@gmail.com.

Thank you for reading