The Characteristics Of Self Rejection 

  
Last week I dealt with the characteristics of someone dealing with the fear of rejection. This week I will be dealing with the characteristics of one who is experiencing or who has experienced self rejection. Self rejection is another product of rejection by others. When a person accepts rejection from another, they buy into the lie that they are unworthy of acceptance by themselves- self rejection therefore releases other negative emotions.

Hurt

 When hurt presents itself, the person who is now rejecting themselves, they now feel like they have done everything wrong. In my teenage years I struggled with a lot of hurt. I was aggressive but I was extremely sensitive. By the age of 15-18 years old I struggled with hurt so much that I used to tell myself everyday that I hated me. The hurt I endured in my home and in my childhood made me wish I did not exist. With this came low self esteem.It’s in my mid 20’s that I noticed that this hurt was acting as a blockage to my next level of success and breakthrough. In my teen years to my early 20’s every time I was in the  presence of authoratative figures, I had the feeling of unworthiness and I always felt like “I did something wrong”. It was with this self sabotaging trait that I attracted certain people that had no business being apart of my life and speaking into my life. The minute I starting grasping a sense of who I am, I started shutting some doors on relationships that no longer meant me any good. 

Self Pity

This is the “poor me” syndrome with self pity, one becomes conscious and aware of their inadequacies; they start having the perspective that no one seems to understand or care what is happening to them. I had moments of pity throughout my adolescent years and early adulthood, I started focusing more on what I was weak at rather than what I was good at. But In December 2012, that started to change when I discovered the book ‘The Purpose Driven Life’ that my teacher gave me. I started becoming aware of my purpose and the passions that were buried deep within me. Upon this discovery I stopped focusing on ‘me’ and started looking for those who I was called and purposed to help. This has and is still a journey. Self pity still tried to get me some days but the key is honing in and focusing on your strengths.

Despair

Another word for hopelessness. Despair happens when a person has totally rejected themselves; they cannot see themselves as capable of being loved by others, so they reject the love others are trying to give them. They find it hard to receive gifts and acts of kindness. Despair then leads to a hopeless state of mind. I struggled with the idea of being loved especially after what happened to me when I was 12 years old. So I shut the doors to potential relationships. With that I still believed that I was being processed so I wasn’t available but I still felt unworthy of love because of the many times I was rejected. There weren’t a lot of offers but there was one, I almost missed it because I felt unworthy of his love. God has delivered me, it’s a process. 

Depression

Depression comes with self rejection- this is where the person resigns themselves to the fact that they are useless. Depression then becomes a very thick wall around one that does not  come down easily. For years I struggled with depression, I hid it perfectly with my makeup and beautiful outfits and shoes. From 2014 to now, God has delivered me, there are days when it tries to come back but with persistence in prayer praise and worship and being involved in fulfilling my purpose, depression has had to take a back seat. I am sensitive to the fact that not everyone deals with depression this way, so get the necessary help that you need from counsellors and faith leaders i.e. pastors, elders, ministers etc. 

Isolation

With hopelessness, self rejection leads to the withdrawal from society. There is the preconceived notion that society will never miss you because you have nothing to contribute to it. 

Suicide

Suicide then becomes the ultimate withdrawal. At this stage, there is a desperation that happens that they develop an underlying death wish. Suicide is the ultimate ego trip. Once a person has rejected themself, they are turned in at this point and total attention is on self- they become their own God, even at the point of making the decision to take their own life. At the age of 13, I wanted to end my life but I failed when I felt God’s presence cover me and I heard His voice say it’s not your time to die. When I look at my life now I realise that I was making a permanent decision in a temporary situation. That negative situation will not last forever. God has great plans for you. He has thoughts of peace and not of evil. He plans to give you hope in your final outcome (Jeremiah 29:11 AMP). 

You see the fear of rejection is aggressive so a person who has accepted rejection will show the  physical manifestations of what is happening internally. Whilst self rejection is passive and  is therefore internalised. I want everyone who will read this to know that Jesus loves you and as I write this I feel the burden in your heart, Give it to God He is waiting for you to give it to Him. If you don’t believe in Him, He is waiting to accept you.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

This study on rejection was sourced via http://www.isob-bible.org

On Your Mark Get Set & Accelerate 

  

Still focusing on the subject of acceleration, I am truly excited about the acceleration that is about to take place in the lives of many this year. The Lord started dealing with me on the principles and the laws of physics relating to acceleration, so He had me researching what has to happen in order for a plane to lift off and fly. An airplane in flight is the centre of a continuous tug of war between four forces:

  • Lift
  • Gravity force or weight
  • Thrust
  • Drag 

Lift and drag are considered aerodynamic forces because they exist due to the movement of the aircraft through the air. The weight pulls down on the plane opposing the lift created by air flowing over the wing. Thrust is then generated by the propeller and opposes drag caused by air resistance to the frontal area of the airplane. During takeoff, thrust must overcome drag and lift must overcome the weight before the airplane can become airborne.  When the plane is in level flight at constant speed, thrust exactly equals drag and lift exactly equals the weight or gravity force. How does this apply to everyday living in 2016, 2015 was a trying year for many, it was a year of change and repositioning but it was necessary for what will take place in 2016.  In 2016 there will be uncommon favour, there will be a quantum leap but for this to take place there will be opposing forces but you have to know when to stand still and when to move. Last year when I was on the plane travelling to Jamaica, it moved from the terminal and it started moving towards where it would lift off. I noticed we had to wait for a few minutes then the plane started moving really fast then we were in the air .  

What am I saying there will be some opposing forces that will try to come at you, I can feel it even now as I am typing this that some of you are facing opposition, be of good cheer you are being positioned for lift off. That is what will happen in this year, you may feel like things are still going  slow but you are being positioned for lift off. For favour to shine bright in your life, things have to be shaky that’s the only way God can get the glory. In this season, no one can get the glory for what is about to happen in your life. You have to be really careful as to who you connect with in this season as they cannot get the glory for your acceleration. So I hereby declare to you On Your Mark, Get Set, and Accelerate.

God Bless You and Thank You For Reading.

Overcoming The Barriers To Stepping Out Into The Unknown 

  

There are many barriers to stepping out into the unknown. The last time I blogged, I dealt with stepping out into the unknown and I used the example of Abraham in Genesis chapter 12 verse 1, where God told Him to leave His country and kindred (his relatives) and go to a place where He will show him. This was a word of direction as it was vague and not very clear. 

Like Abraham, I received a word of direction. In fact God gave me this scripture to confirm His word for me to step out into the unknown. I said yes to the Lord and I thought that because of my obedience , everything was going to be easy for me. But just a few months later after taking my first step, I noticed that I had a few barriers that I had to overcome before stepping into my place of destiny for this season. There were many barriers but the main barrier was fear. I experienced fear in three different areas and these were:

  • Fear of the unknown 
  • Fear of the opinions of man 
  • Fear of failure 

Everyone who goes through transition will face fear in these three different areas. The Israelites struggled with these barriers in the wilderness when they were getting ready to possess their promised land.

Fear Of The Unknown

Fear of the unknown is the fear of stepping out of your comfort zone. It is the fear of stepping out into unfamiliar territory. However there is a danger to this when transition presents itself in your life, it is the opportunity to step into a new dimension, a new level. Transition does not wait for no man. When an individual miss their call to transition, the next step after this is falling into a rut and a season of stagnancy and unproductivity. The Lord has had me working on a project so here is a little snippet into what He revealed to me. In Mark chapter 11, we read about the fig tree; Jesus saw a fig tree in verse 13, as He was hungry, He proceeded to take a fruit from the tree, but there was no fruit yet the tree had leaves. The scripture clearly states that the time of figs was not yet but Jesus cursed the tree. I said to the Lord that was harsh until I looked deeper I understand why. God showed me that though it was not time (chronus- chronological time) for the tree to bring forth, Jesus had showed up (Kairos moment- opportunity, a moment where God changes everything). This was a kairos moment for the tree to bring forth but it still did not. According to agriculture, when fig trees had leaves, this was a sign that there were going to be fruits. When there were leaves, there should have been little knobs on the tree that people could pick and eat.

So the fact that there were leaves and no knobs meant that the tree had potential but was not bringing forth. It is the same for us as believers. The opportunity to step out into the unknown is never convenient but it is necessary. God will not show up with this instruction when you expect Him to. He will require you to step out in inconvenient seasons of your life. But your entire future depends on it. When God told me to step out I was unemployed with no money. God has planted a seed of greatness on the inside of you and He will show up expecting fruit. Do not be like this tree who because it did not bare fruit it was cursed,  and cursed in this context is stagnancy, barrenness and unproductivity and if you are in this place of stagnancy, all you have to do is repent for your disobedience and say yes. That is all it takes for you to get back on track. Isn’t God great!!! So  I challenge you today, step out into the unknown. Fear and faith cannot operate at the same time so make an exchange with God and use His faith to step out into the unknown and God will move in a mighty way not just in your life but in your family and generations . It is my prayer that God will increase your faith and give you courage to step out into the unknown in Jesus Name I pray amen. I will deal with the other barriers in part two of this blog. 

God bless you and thank you for reading. 

Stepping Out Into the Unknown (Part 1)

Stepping Into The Unknown

It was in the month of May 2013, that the Lord gave me the scripture Genesis chapter 12v1. Months later, I started hearing different people preaching on the same scripture and I knew that God was trying to get my attention. I remembered the first time the Lord led me to this scripture, I immediately sensed that the Lord was calling me out of where I was in order to go to another dimension in Him. God  started telling me to resign from different departments I was involved with in my church at the time. I did not understand why. The final ministry He had told me to resign from was the youth department. One year later He told me to hand in my resignation and leave the ministry where I was a minister. The Lord had showed me the city, but He did not tell where I was going to live or how I was going to survive. He told me to go.

In Genesis 12v1, God told Abram to leave his country, his relatives and his father’s house and go to a land that God will show him. It is important to understand that destiny has a place. We are all called to purpose. And if you truly grasp that, then you will experience at some point in your lifetime when God will call you out into the unknown. When this occurs God will either give you a word of instruction or a word of direction. You see, a word of direction is often vague and not very clear whereas a word of instruction is very clear and detailed. Abram was given a word of direction.

Whenever you receive a word of direction, your faith in God is what will be the driving force. It takes courage to step out without clear information. I have found that when God calls you out, He will show you the end of the journey and the blessings that are waiting for you on the other side. He will always show you the promise that is waiting at the end of your obedience. You see this in verses 2-3 of chapter 12. Your miracle is hidden in your obedience to the instruction that God gives you. In verse 4, Abram takes the brave journey and leaves with his wife Sarai and his nephew Lot.

One of the first principles the Lord had taught me in stepping out is that in order to go to the next level, there are some relationships that you have to let go of. It is easier said than done but it is absolutely necessary. The Lord had told Abram to leave his country and his kindred but he still took Lot with him. Partial obedience is still disobedience. Genesis 13v5-6 highlights this point that where you are going, some of your relationships cannot contain or even fathom what God is about to do for you. They cannot handle it. It does not mean they are bad people, t just means that right now in your journey, you have come to a place where you have to go alone. Do not allow guilt to weigh you down. Abraham probably felt the responsibility to bring Lot along with him because Lot’s father had died. But God’s instructions were very clear. When we refuse to let go off of relationships that God has instructed us to, the next thing that will come is strife. In Genesis 13:7, strife came between the herdsmen of Abram and the herdsmen of Lot. Sometimes strife is a blessing because it puts you back on track and onto God’s original plan so that you can accomplish His will for your life.

Abram and Lot separated and Abram stayed in Canaan and Lot pitched his tent toward Sodom. The next thing that happened blew my mind, in verse 14 of chapter 13, the Lord tells Abram to “lift up his eyes and look…..” In verse 15, God makes another promise to Abram. Lot had to leave before God could give him a word of instruction. Whilst he was with Lot, God still spoke with Abram, He still protected Abram when they entered Egypt, but Lot had to go before the plan was unveiled. So my question is, how many of you as a result of disobedience are delaying the word of instruction that the Lord has for you? How many of you are refusing to let go off of dead relationships or relationships that love you so much that they are stifling the very purpose that God has for your life? I am here to declare to you that it is time to arise, step out and step into the destiny that God has for you.

The first requirement of stepping out into the unknown is , letting go of relationships  that is preventing you from moving forward. You have to forsake the old and embrace the new. What you are willing to let go of determines what God will bless you with. I discovered this for myself; the relationships that I have formed since I have moved are priceless. I say this in humility, if I had stayed in the same place holding onto the same people and relationships, I would have missed out on the wealth of relationships and connections that I have now and I know God is only just beginning.

When I transitioned to my new city, the first instruction the Lord gave me was to shut down every communication I had with people and mentors from my previous city. This was hard for me because these relationships meant a lot to me. But God said let go and I did. And can I be honest? It was the best decision of my life, what I know now cannot be compared to what I knew then and I believe that is what had happened to Abram, when he said good bye to the unnecessary weight, that was when he was able to lift up his eyes and look; he was able to handle the instruction of the Lord concerning his life and his household.  It is my prayer that God will give you the courage to step out into the unknown and experience His abundance in Jesus Name Amen. This will be done in a series, because God is pouring a lot into me concerning this topic so stay tuned.

May God bless you and thank you for reading.

Take The Labels Off

Label Pic

During my journey, last year November the Lord asked me who are you? I said to the Lord You know who I am, You created me. But He kept asking me ‘who are you? So I took pen and paper and I started writing and what came after that blew my mind. I was shocked that this was what God thought of me. I know He loves me but He started to reveal to me what His idea of me was according to His word. It was defining moment for me.  After this, I heard Him say ‘Take the labels off’.

After this, I realised that oftentimes when in a new environment or when you have been through a lot of adversity, people have a way of labelling you based on where you are, or where you have been. I realise that when people do not understand you, they tend to put a label on you in order to accommodate their small capacity to handle you. I realised that throughout my teenage years, I was walking around with these labels. Before I go any further, I want to explore the definition of labels.

Labels- “A classifying phrase or name applied to a person or thing, especially one that is inaccurate or restrictive”.

This definition is very relevant to this topic. Two words in this definition stand out ‘Inaccurate and Restrictive’. Labels are often inaccurate because labels are often rooted in gossip or rumours about a person. Sometimes the individual being labelled has no idea what is being said about them. But words are spiritual and death and life are in the power of the tongue. Words spoken good or bad has the ability to attach themselves to a person’s life. That is why you have to consistently pray against every word spoken against you in judgement as stated in Isaiah chapter 54v17. For something to be inaccurate, it is false, anything that is spoken over your life that is contrary to the word of God, is inaccurate. To restrict is to impose restrictions on someone’s activities or freedom. When I think of the word restrict, I think of a prison and a bolted box.

This is what labels do to a person; because they are false it puts a person in a mental prison that stops them from being productive. What labels do to a person, they tell that person that they can only go so far. For example, a person who grew up in a single parent home can only go so far, this child is not expected to excel however I thank God there are so many people in society today including myself who have disproved this theory ( first in the immediate family Glory to God). Another example is, ‘you are a woman, women are not supposed to….. and I will let those who read this finish the sentence because there are so many things that we have heard in that sentence. I am a woman, so I have heard many limited views on what I could or could not do. Or ‘you are single so you cannot…. You will never go anywhere in life.  I think you get the idea now. If you have walked around with similar labels, I want you to write them out then burn those labels and replace those labels with what God has said about you.

I realised that throughout my teenage years, I was walking with the labels that people had placed on me, and I already mentioned a few in the last paragraph.

Last year November was when God started talking to me about my identity, He took me on a journey of self discovery and He started to reveal to me His perspective of me. I came to realise that all of the hard trials I had gone through, it has brought out and unleashed an anointing in me which has released gifts that I had no idea was on the inside of me. The labels placed upon me were also good labels such as ‘I can see you as a Pastor, First lady, and warrior. The truth is people may have seen all these qualities in me but I recognised that my true identity came from His word. Those were just titles but my identity is not found in what I do. My identity is not in my business, it is not in what I do, it is found in the word, and in God’s word are His thoughts towards me. In my journey, God had to strip me of everything that I was so that I could become what He has called me to be and this is a journey, it takes a lifetime and eternity to become who God has destined for you to become.

I have found that if you do not know who you are, there are people who will try to label you to fit into their little box of who they think you should be.

The Lord used the example of David and Saul in 1Samuel 17v38-39, when David was getting ready to fight Goliath, and Saul attempted to put his armour on David. The Lord revealed to me that the armour can be used as a representation of the labels people will try to put on you. But David identified that He could not wear Saul’s armour because he had not proved it. David could only prove God’s word. That was a defining moment for David. You see you cannot use someone else’s armour and win. Your victory is hidden in you discovering your identity and your uniqueness. When you know who and whose you are, you will become unstoppable. Impossibilities will be made possible. Labels weigh you down. Labels block your ability to be creative because it restricts you to be and do certain things. Labels make you feel like you cannot aim higher than where you are. It chokes out every potential and it releases limitations over the lives of those who allows it to. Your journey to destiny begins when you start peeling away the labels. Labels tell you how far you can go and how much you can do. But God who created you and He  knows your beginning to your end and He is calling you into the realm where impossibilities are made possible. So I dare you to take the labels off and step into your potentiality.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

Exchange Your Garments for God’s Glory

Glory Pic

Throughout the scriptures, we often read about those who had gone through the hardest of times, and after breaking through, they are commanded to change their clothes or their names. We have Joseph who after going from the pit to prison, when the call came for him to go before Pharaoh, we read in Genesis chapter 41, that he shaved himself and he had put on new clothes. We have Abram, after stepping out by faith to God’s instruction; he experiences a name change in Genesis 17v5 from Abram to Abraham and Jacob in Genesis 35v10 whose name was changed from Jacob to Israel. We read in the book of Ruth chapter 3v3, where Naomi instructs Ruth to wash herself, change her clothes and anoint herself.

In Zechariah chapter 3v4, we read about Joshua standing before the angel with filthy garments and the angel says in verse 4 that he will clothe Joshua with a change of raiment, which means clothing. This blog has been inspired by an anointed woman of God called Pastor Enid Stewart, she preached about ‘Changing Your Garment for the Exchange of His Glory’.  This message resonated in my spirit so much that the Lord led me to research the meaning of Glory. Seeing that this is my favourite word, I was excited but trying to figure out what the word Glory had to do with clothing. Upon researching the word glory, I found that there are many interpretations of Glory from the Greek and the Hebrew translations. I will not bore you with all of the words but I will use one from the Hebrew and one from the Greek;  in the Old Testament, one of the words used to describe Glory is kabod which means to be heavy or abundant. In the Greek, glory is interpreted as doxa which means the opinion/perception of God. I discovered that in the Old Testament, the concept of glory falls into three main areas. Firstly, in terms of volume, glory can be interpreted as the sheer notion of weight. This can be extended into the concept of presence whether it is through swelling, cloaking or sheer inherent magnificence. And thirdly, the notion of praiseworthiness, shining or brilliance described as glory.

So the principle basis of glory in the Hebrew is the weight or immensity of something. On the other hand, the Greek word for glory (doxa) speaks to the perception of something as being good. So when God’s glory is on you, He sees you as good no matter what may be happening in your life in this present time or what you may have done in the past. So what has glory got to do with changing your clothing? The Lord used the symbol of clothing to speak to me concerning my identity. Clothing in this context represents the opinion and the labels that people have put on me based on my past and present circumstances. You see, the Greek meaning for Glory is doxa which is the opinion of God, He told me to begin to exchange my garment of man’s opinion and replace it with the opinion of God. As I began to do this, there was a confidence that came over me, which I will now call ‘Godfidence’ that whatever He says about me and whatever He tells me to do, I can do it.

To carry the glory of God, this means that you carry the opinion of God, which in turn creates an atmosphere for God’s presence, because every time you open up your mouth, He has no other choice but to show up because you are His opinion, every time that you open up your mouth, you speak His opinion. Where do you find God’s opinion? You find God’s opinion in the Bible and spending time in His presence.  When you change your garments that is when God can present you before His people to carry out the assignment that is on your life. As long as you continue to walk in the old garments of people’s labeling and  opinions of you, you will never truly discover who you are in God and what you were created to do. So I encourage you today to change your garments and make an exchange for the glory (doxa) of God. God bless you and thank you for reading…..