Dealing With Rejection In The Church (Part 2)

Rejection Poster 2

“A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success”- Bo Bennett

Below are a few points on dealing with rejection in the church;

1.Understand that rejection is redirection and relocation to your new place of purpose and destiny- Joseph’s brothers rejected him and that rejection led him to the pit which ushered him to Pharaoh’s palace.

2. Sometimes God will allow rejection to happen to redirect your focus to God as your only source.

3. When rejection happens in the church (the people), it is an indication that what you are carrying is far too big for the reject-er to handle. Healing from rejection starts when you realise that the same people who have rejected you may  have also been rejected.

4. Healing begins when you start to experience the unconditional love of God through His word and worship.

5. Healing begins when you accept the rejection- accepting that the rejection has taken starts the healing process and you will start to see that  the issue does not lie with you but the issue lies with the reject-er. Please note that acceptance of the rejection is different to reacting to the rejection.

6. Healing from rejection within the church starts when you stop reacting to it- my mentor said to me a few years ago that rejection is not valid if you are chasing the person who has and is rejecting you- it is when you keep reacting to their rejection- that is when the pain of rejection is birthed .

7. Accept that the person does not have the capacity to love you- they cannot give you what they do not have and that is when you will get the power to love again.

8. Understand that the church (the people) is not perfect. Everyone is wounded and hurt in some type of way. The Church is like a hospital, everyone who visits the hospital has an ailment and it is the same with the church, everyone who attends has an ailment in their spirit, soul and body and have come to see the chief physician which is Jesus Christ for their healing.

9. Disappointment in the form of rejection happens when you place unrealistic expectations on others and when you are looking for approval from people instead of God; no one can love you or accept you like God can.

10. Remember that you have been rejected for a purpose and that Jesus loves you.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

 

 

 

Dealing With Rejection In The Church (Part 1)

For the past few weeks I have been writing on rejection, what it is, the characteristics of rejection, fear of rejection and self rejection. I wrote on the fact that when rejection happens, it is because the environment that you are looking to for acceptance is incapable of handling the greatness that is on the inside of you.

I would like to focus on rejection in the church. There are so many wounded souls within the church and there are so many who have left the church because they have been rejected by leaders and others who have been set to watch over and protect them. I am writing this blog to all those who have suffered rejection in the one place that you expected to be accepted- The Church.

So who and what is The Church?

The Church is commonly defined as a building used for public worship; many people refer to the church as an organisation- but the word church in the bible comes from the Greek word Ecclesia which means a called out company or assembly- whenever the word church is used in the bible, it is referring to people- 1 Corinthians 1v2. So when I am talking about being rejected in the church, I am talking about being rejected by the people who are the church not God- you see Jesus’ love for you is unconditional and nothing that you do could ever make God reject you or stop loving you.  One thing that helped my healing process from rejection was that;

The Rejecter has also been rejected

I see a cycle within the body of Christ, there are so many leaders who have been rejected by their spiritual fathers, that has created this vicious cycle of rejection. What we have are rejected spiritual sons and daughters turning into spiritual mothers and fathers who are now rejecting their spiritual sons and daughters. It takes a level of maturity and getting into a place of revelation to see the spirit behind rejection within the church. The result of this type of rejection is that there are spiritual sons and daughters who have and are still walking around not understanding their identity and looking to other spiritual fathers/mothers for the spiritual validation that should have been given to them by their spiritual fathers.

Solution

The solution to this is seeking God and discovering what God is saying about you- your identity and purpose is found in God and oftentimes, I believe that God will purposely hide your call and assignment from the man of God. I am not saying this is always the case because the man of God is set to guide, guard and protect you. However, God does not always reveal everything to the man of God concerning you. I experienced this is in my personal life, I could not understand why my spiritual father at the time could not see what God was telling me about my purpose and destiny- my purpose got so intense that I could barely sleep or eat. I had to step outside of the boat and with that decision came rejection.

Was I upset? yes, I was on the verge of bitterness especially when I had dealt with my natural father not being in my life throughout my teenage years but in my metamorphosis process, God began to show me that rejection meant redirection and where I was positioned at the time, my environment could no longer accommodate the greatness that I was carrying on the inside of me. I started to love and appreciate my leaders from my past as, if they had accepted me and approved of me, I would have remained in the same place; I recognised that my leaders may have also experienced rejection at some point in their lives and may not have noticed that they were passing on the same treatment. I started seeing God’s hand in the rejection. The rejection was just a vehicle that was transporting me to my place of purpose and destiny.

God bless you and thank you for reading 

 

The Characteristics Of Self Rejection 

  
Last week I dealt with the characteristics of someone dealing with the fear of rejection. This week I will be dealing with the characteristics of one who is experiencing or who has experienced self rejection. Self rejection is another product of rejection by others. When a person accepts rejection from another, they buy into the lie that they are unworthy of acceptance by themselves- self rejection therefore releases other negative emotions.

Hurt

 When hurt presents itself, the person who is now rejecting themselves, they now feel like they have done everything wrong. In my teenage years I struggled with a lot of hurt. I was aggressive but I was extremely sensitive. By the age of 15-18 years old I struggled with hurt so much that I used to tell myself everyday that I hated me. The hurt I endured in my home and in my childhood made me wish I did not exist. With this came low self esteem.It’s in my mid 20’s that I noticed that this hurt was acting as a blockage to my next level of success and breakthrough. In my teen years to my early 20’s every time I was in the  presence of authoratative figures, I had the feeling of unworthiness and I always felt like “I did something wrong”. It was with this self sabotaging trait that I attracted certain people that had no business being apart of my life and speaking into my life. The minute I starting grasping a sense of who I am, I started shutting some doors on relationships that no longer meant me any good. 

Self Pity

This is the “poor me” syndrome with self pity, one becomes conscious and aware of their inadequacies; they start having the perspective that no one seems to understand or care what is happening to them. I had moments of pity throughout my adolescent years and early adulthood, I started focusing more on what I was weak at rather than what I was good at. But In December 2012, that started to change when I discovered the book ‘The Purpose Driven Life’ that my teacher gave me. I started becoming aware of my purpose and the passions that were buried deep within me. Upon this discovery I stopped focusing on ‘me’ and started looking for those who I was called and purposed to help. This has and is still a journey. Self pity still tried to get me some days but the key is honing in and focusing on your strengths.

Despair

Another word for hopelessness. Despair happens when a person has totally rejected themselves; they cannot see themselves as capable of being loved by others, so they reject the love others are trying to give them. They find it hard to receive gifts and acts of kindness. Despair then leads to a hopeless state of mind. I struggled with the idea of being loved especially after what happened to me when I was 12 years old. So I shut the doors to potential relationships. With that I still believed that I was being processed so I wasn’t available but I still felt unworthy of love because of the many times I was rejected. There weren’t a lot of offers but there was one, I almost missed it because I felt unworthy of his love. God has delivered me, it’s a process. 

Depression

Depression comes with self rejection- this is where the person resigns themselves to the fact that they are useless. Depression then becomes a very thick wall around one that does not  come down easily. For years I struggled with depression, I hid it perfectly with my makeup and beautiful outfits and shoes. From 2014 to now, God has delivered me, there are days when it tries to come back but with persistence in prayer praise and worship and being involved in fulfilling my purpose, depression has had to take a back seat. I am sensitive to the fact that not everyone deals with depression this way, so get the necessary help that you need from counsellors and faith leaders i.e. pastors, elders, ministers etc. 

Isolation

With hopelessness, self rejection leads to the withdrawal from society. There is the preconceived notion that society will never miss you because you have nothing to contribute to it. 

Suicide

Suicide then becomes the ultimate withdrawal. At this stage, there is a desperation that happens that they develop an underlying death wish. Suicide is the ultimate ego trip. Once a person has rejected themself, they are turned in at this point and total attention is on self- they become their own God, even at the point of making the decision to take their own life. At the age of 13, I wanted to end my life but I failed when I felt God’s presence cover me and I heard His voice say it’s not your time to die. When I look at my life now I realise that I was making a permanent decision in a temporary situation. That negative situation will not last forever. God has great plans for you. He has thoughts of peace and not of evil. He plans to give you hope in your final outcome (Jeremiah 29:11 AMP). 

You see the fear of rejection is aggressive so a person who has accepted rejection will show the  physical manifestations of what is happening internally. Whilst self rejection is passive and  is therefore internalised. I want everyone who will read this to know that Jesus loves you and as I write this I feel the burden in your heart, Give it to God He is waiting for you to give it to Him. If you don’t believe in Him, He is waiting to accept you.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

This study on rejection was sourced via http://www.isob-bible.org

The Pain Of Rejection 

  
For the last week, I have been carrying this topic in my spirit. I started to feel the burden of those who have and are currently suffering from the pain of rejection. The Lord started dealing with me on the effects of rejection especially on the body of Christ. I have to be honest, I ran away from this subject because I discovered in 2015 that this was the root of a lot of my personal life experience where God had to take me  through a process of healing; but the Holy Ghost got a hold of me and I had to surrender because I realised that there are souls out there who are crying out in silence because they have been rejected by loved ones, their spiritual leaders and even certain groups within society and this has left a huge impact on them which has prevented them from tapping into their full potential due to fear of being rejected . Rejection is the root of most problems that humans face today. Love propels a person to do great things but rejection blocks a person’s potential.

So What Is Rejection? 

Rejection is the dismissing or refusing of a proposal idea-It is the action of spurning a person’s affection. Feeling rejected is the opposite of feeling accepted- it is the denial of love and acceptance in one’s life. Rejection and the fear of rejection plays a major part in the development of the character of every human being- one of the products of rejection is a broken spirit. Rejection is one of the most neglected, yet one of the most common emotional wounds from which one suffers. There are different forms of rejection:

  • Slighting
  • Shunning 
  • Spurning
  • Denial
  • Ignoring
  • Neglecting
  • Avoiding and Disapproving

Love is an essential need in every human being’s life. God designed it that way that we would need each other and we would need love. As people grow spiritually, they are able to handle rejection better than they could when they were young but it does not diminish how painful rejection is. No matter how old or young you are rejection still hurts. People who experience rejection, tend to react by building walls. I have discovered that rejection is a perception issue, it may not have been intended but that is how it was perceived. Rejection has to be accepted for it to have an effect on a person’s life. Rejection requires a reaction for it to bring forth fruit in a person’s life. If I don’t respond to rejection then it is not rejection at all. My mentor told me a few years ago that running after someone who has rejected you adds more to your pain but if you are not running after the rejector, then rejection has no effect on you.

When a person accepts the wound of rejection in their lives, it generates one of two things-

  1. Fear of Rejection- when a person is wounded by rejection, they recoil at the prospect of being wounded again. For example, a person who has been wounded by an authority figure in their lives, their natural reaction is to fear authority and guard themselves when they are in the presence of authority figures. The fear of being hurt causes the individual to put up defence mechanisms and this is where the development of distrust for everyone’s motives take place.
  2. Self Rejection- After a person has accepted rejection in their lives for an extended period of time, they begin to reject themselves. They start believing that they are unworthy and unacceptable by others. Both the fear of rejection and self rejection controls one’s behaviour which then starts generating unhealthy fruit. Rejection from loved ones will make one think that they are unacceptable or unqualified or unworthy. 

I will be dealing with rejection over the next few weeks. In my next blog , I will be dealing with the characteristics of the fear of rejection and self rejection. God bless you and thank you for reading.

Study on rejection was conducted on http://www.isob-bible.org.

On Your Mark Get Set & Accelerate 

  

Still focusing on the subject of acceleration, I am truly excited about the acceleration that is about to take place in the lives of many this year. The Lord started dealing with me on the principles and the laws of physics relating to acceleration, so He had me researching what has to happen in order for a plane to lift off and fly. An airplane in flight is the centre of a continuous tug of war between four forces:

  • Lift
  • Gravity force or weight
  • Thrust
  • Drag 

Lift and drag are considered aerodynamic forces because they exist due to the movement of the aircraft through the air. The weight pulls down on the plane opposing the lift created by air flowing over the wing. Thrust is then generated by the propeller and opposes drag caused by air resistance to the frontal area of the airplane. During takeoff, thrust must overcome drag and lift must overcome the weight before the airplane can become airborne.  When the plane is in level flight at constant speed, thrust exactly equals drag and lift exactly equals the weight or gravity force. How does this apply to everyday living in 2016, 2015 was a trying year for many, it was a year of change and repositioning but it was necessary for what will take place in 2016.  In 2016 there will be uncommon favour, there will be a quantum leap but for this to take place there will be opposing forces but you have to know when to stand still and when to move. Last year when I was on the plane travelling to Jamaica, it moved from the terminal and it started moving towards where it would lift off. I noticed we had to wait for a few minutes then the plane started moving really fast then we were in the air .  

What am I saying there will be some opposing forces that will try to come at you, I can feel it even now as I am typing this that some of you are facing opposition, be of good cheer you are being positioned for lift off. That is what will happen in this year, you may feel like things are still going  slow but you are being positioned for lift off. For favour to shine bright in your life, things have to be shaky that’s the only way God can get the glory. In this season, no one can get the glory for what is about to happen in your life. You have to be really careful as to who you connect with in this season as they cannot get the glory for your acceleration. So I hereby declare to you On Your Mark, Get Set, and Accelerate.

God Bless You and Thank You For Reading.

Dream Again 

  

We have entered the year 2016 and many proclamations have been released for this awesome year. In my last blog, I wrote that 2016 is going to be a year of acceleration it is also the year of the Lord’s favour where you will get many things that you did not deserve and rules will be broken so that you can be blessed- I just said something right there Glory.

Just a few days before the ending of 2015, the Lord told me to tell two young ladies that it is time to Dream again. As I told the first individual to Dream again, something erupted in me and I started dreaming on a whole other level. God started giving me a new vision and new dreams. On January 3rd 2016, I had a dream about strategy and goals. These were the two words I heard and I woke up, not understanding what the Lord was saying but I noted it down. By January 5th 2016, the Lord said to me, “if you are expecting acceleration you need to prepare for it as it is not just going to come to you like that, you have to prepare and strategise for these things to happen. With those words I proceeded to create my vision board for 2016. As I started  printing the pictures for my board, I became excited and energetic. Purpose and passion began fuelling on the inside of me. The Lord has inspired me to dream again and I am now daring you to dream again. Start dreaming on purpose, start creating your vision boards and journals, start writing the vision and make it plain (Habakkuk 2:2). 

I want to encourage you to dream big this year. As it is the year of the Lord’s favour and acceleration, start thinking about what it is that you want God to do in your life this year. When you look at your board or journal, it should scare you; In other words dream big. So to everyone who will read this, I dare you to dream again.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

2016- A Year Of Acceleration

  
2015 was a year of transition and change. For me personally, 2015 was a year of major change, losses and grief. On the other hand, it was one of my most productive years to date. In this year, I discovered the real “Me”. However it was at the cost of a high price but it was worth it. There were days when I felt like I was not going to make it. In my season of great vulnerability, I experienced betrayal, mockery, gossip, people looking down on me and through it all the Lord told me to be still. I also experienced some of the greatest people who celebrated me and the gift that God has placed in me.
In August 2015, the Lord kept saying ‘Quantum Leap’, so I proceeded to research the definition of quantum leap which is physics principle.quantum leap is a sudden large increase or advance- it is any sudden and significant change. The Lord started pouring into me that when quantum leap takes place, it is a suddenly- one minute you are broke, the next minute you are wealthy; one minute you are single, the next minute you are engaged to be married. This season is not to be missed and it cannot be taken lightly. It is not by accident that this season of acceleration is happening in the year of Jubilee according to the Jewish calendar 5776. It is a season of restoration where captivity is reversed.  A week before Christmas, the Lord told me to check the calendar for 2016, I noticed it was going to be a leap year and I realised that God was preparing me from August for the New Year.

God showed me that 2015 was a year of positioning, just like in the story of Joseph, he went into the pit then he went to Potiphar’s house only to be accused of rape then thrown into prison. The pit was like a prison so it would seem as if Joseph had gone back to square one or ground level in his life. If you felt like you were demoted or you went back to square one in this year, then I am writing to let you know that 2015 was only positioning you for your leap into purpose in 2016. Joseph’s experiences was only there to position him to meet Pharaoh and provide solutions that he had gained from his monotonous and painful experiences. Your experiences in 2015 will not be wasted, it was only allowed by God to happen to you in order to catapult you into your season of manifestation and acceleration. Time will be restored to you. So in these final 2 days before the new year, I want you to position yourself, spirit, soul and body and remain expectant because God is about to accelerate you beyond your expectations and imagination. Have a happy new year and know that God is with you and He will never leave you or forsake you.

God bless you and thank you for reading..