Dealing With Rejection In The Church (Part 2)

Rejection Poster 2

“A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success”- Bo Bennett

Below are a few points on dealing with rejection in the church;

1.Understand that rejection is redirection and relocation to your new place of purpose and destiny- Joseph’s brothers rejected him and that rejection led him to the pit which ushered him to Pharaoh’s palace.

2. Sometimes God will allow rejection to happen to redirect your focus to God as your only source.

3. When rejection happens in the church (the people), it is an indication that what you are carrying is far too big for the reject-er to handle. Healing from rejection starts when you realise that the same people who have rejected you may  have also been rejected.

4. Healing begins when you start to experience the unconditional love of God through His word and worship.

5. Healing begins when you accept the rejection- accepting that the rejection has taken starts the healing process and you will start to see that  the issue does not lie with you but the issue lies with the reject-er. Please note that acceptance of the rejection is different to reacting to the rejection.

6. Healing from rejection within the church starts when you stop reacting to it- my mentor said to me a few years ago that rejection is not valid if you are chasing the person who has and is rejecting you- it is when you keep reacting to their rejection- that is when the pain of rejection is birthed .

7. Accept that the person does not have the capacity to love you- they cannot give you what they do not have and that is when you will get the power to love again.

8. Understand that the church (the people) is not perfect. Everyone is wounded and hurt in some type of way. The Church is like a hospital, everyone who visits the hospital has an ailment and it is the same with the church, everyone who attends has an ailment in their spirit, soul and body and have come to see the chief physician which is Jesus Christ for their healing.

9. Disappointment in the form of rejection happens when you place unrealistic expectations on others and when you are looking for approval from people instead of God; no one can love you or accept you like God can.

10. Remember that you have been rejected for a purpose and that Jesus loves you.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

 

 

 

Dealing With Rejection In The Church (Part 1)

For the past few weeks I have been writing on rejection, what it is, the characteristics of rejection, fear of rejection and self rejection. I wrote on the fact that when rejection happens, it is because the environment that you are looking to for acceptance is incapable of handling the greatness that is on the inside of you.

I would like to focus on rejection in the church. There are so many wounded souls within the church and there are so many who have left the church because they have been rejected by leaders and others who have been set to watch over and protect them. I am writing this blog to all those who have suffered rejection in the one place that you expected to be accepted- The Church.

So who and what is The Church?

The Church is commonly defined as a building used for public worship; many people refer to the church as an organisation- but the word church in the bible comes from the Greek word Ecclesia which means a called out company or assembly- whenever the word church is used in the bible, it is referring to people- 1 Corinthians 1v2. So when I am talking about being rejected in the church, I am talking about being rejected by the people who are the church not God- you see Jesus’ love for you is unconditional and nothing that you do could ever make God reject you or stop loving you.  One thing that helped my healing process from rejection was that;

The Rejecter has also been rejected

I see a cycle within the body of Christ, there are so many leaders who have been rejected by their spiritual fathers, that has created this vicious cycle of rejection. What we have are rejected spiritual sons and daughters turning into spiritual mothers and fathers who are now rejecting their spiritual sons and daughters. It takes a level of maturity and getting into a place of revelation to see the spirit behind rejection within the church. The result of this type of rejection is that there are spiritual sons and daughters who have and are still walking around not understanding their identity and looking to other spiritual fathers/mothers for the spiritual validation that should have been given to them by their spiritual fathers.

Solution

The solution to this is seeking God and discovering what God is saying about you- your identity and purpose is found in God and oftentimes, I believe that God will purposely hide your call and assignment from the man of God. I am not saying this is always the case because the man of God is set to guide, guard and protect you. However, God does not always reveal everything to the man of God concerning you. I experienced this is in my personal life, I could not understand why my spiritual father at the time could not see what God was telling me about my purpose and destiny- my purpose got so intense that I could barely sleep or eat. I had to step outside of the boat and with that decision came rejection.

Was I upset? yes, I was on the verge of bitterness especially when I had dealt with my natural father not being in my life throughout my teenage years but in my metamorphosis process, God began to show me that rejection meant redirection and where I was positioned at the time, my environment could no longer accommodate the greatness that I was carrying on the inside of me. I started to love and appreciate my leaders from my past as, if they had accepted me and approved of me, I would have remained in the same place; I recognised that my leaders may have also experienced rejection at some point in their lives and may not have noticed that they were passing on the same treatment. I started seeing God’s hand in the rejection. The rejection was just a vehicle that was transporting me to my place of purpose and destiny.

God bless you and thank you for reading 

 

The Fear Of Rejection 

  

Last week I wrote about what rejection is and the different forms of rejection. I dealt with the fact that when a person accepts the wound of rejection in their lives, it generates the fear of rejection and self rejection. In this article, I will be  dealing with the characteristics of the fear of rejection.

When a person is wounded by rejection, they recoil at the prospect of being wounded again. The characteristics of the fear of rejection are as follows;

  • Anger

Anger always follows closely behind fear. When a person accepts rejection, they become dependent upon anger as it becomes an excellent barrier to protect them from future rejection of others. This was something I struggled with for years, when I just migrated from Jamaica especially after I was sexually assaulted at the age of 12, I had outbursts of anger, I always got in major arguments on the estate I lived on, and there were times I was close to getting into physical fights. I never fought the girls it was the guys that I went after. When someone would upset me I created a movie in my mind as to how I would make them pay. The metamorphosis that I have just been through took care of the anger that I carried for so many years, God gave me the opportunity to exchange my pain with His peace and love.

  • Hardness

Hardness is another defence mechanism that keeps people away. It’s this “I can do bad all by myself” attitude but deep down inside there is a cry for someone to love you. I experienced this and it took the circumstances of life to bring me to a place of surrender and my prayer became that of Ezekiel 36:26-27. I started asking God to give me a new heart and a new spirit and this is where God started the process of healing.

  • Bitterness

This is where you get bitter  about the situation in which you were wounded. Anger left unattended will start to generate a root of bitterness.

  • Rebellion

Rebellion is an outward expression caused by an inner feeling of rejection. The society that we are now living in where the youth are being classed as rebellious, where a lot of false religions and occultic movements are on the rise are. as a result of rejection. Today’s generation is the fruit of the decisions of yesterday’s generation. Because the older generation have not sought out help to deal with their issues of rejection, it has just been passed down throughout their generations. What this root of rejection has birthed are people suffering with all types of addictions, self harming, joining groups that only seek to manipulate and control and cares nothing about their wellbeing. What this root of rejection has birthed is a generation of people who no longer has a sense of purpose and if they do these wounds act as a barrier to them fulfilling their purpose. Because of this, today’s new age movement, satanic worshippers and cults are able to recruit these people dealing with the wounds of rejection. That is why we have people who have tasted and have witnessed the awesome power of the Holy Ghost just turn away from the church and renounce the name of Jesus, this is what the root of rejection is doing to those who experience it. When the fear of rejection has established a stronghold in a person, they will start to reject others before being rejected themselves. This attitude generates an inability to receive love or to love others. And from this grows rebellion.

  • Addiction

A person can become an addict when they have experienced rejection and when they are unsuccessful in their attempt to reconnect to a loving relationship, they anesthetise their pain, this can be through drugs, sex, self destructive habits such as self harming, eating disorders and many more habits. You see when love is denied somebody, the door is open for satan to step in. 

I pray that these points have helped you identify what happens when a person has the fear of rejection. It is my prayer that God will heal every wound of rejection that may have manifested in one of these characteristics. Know that God loves you and that He accepts you. He died for you and He is waiting to deliver you and heal you of your wounds but He can only do this if you let Him in. 

God bless you and thank you for reading.

This study on rejection was sourced via http://www.isob-bible.org

On Your Mark Get Set & Accelerate 

  

Still focusing on the subject of acceleration, I am truly excited about the acceleration that is about to take place in the lives of many this year. The Lord started dealing with me on the principles and the laws of physics relating to acceleration, so He had me researching what has to happen in order for a plane to lift off and fly. An airplane in flight is the centre of a continuous tug of war between four forces:

  • Lift
  • Gravity force or weight
  • Thrust
  • Drag 

Lift and drag are considered aerodynamic forces because they exist due to the movement of the aircraft through the air. The weight pulls down on the plane opposing the lift created by air flowing over the wing. Thrust is then generated by the propeller and opposes drag caused by air resistance to the frontal area of the airplane. During takeoff, thrust must overcome drag and lift must overcome the weight before the airplane can become airborne.  When the plane is in level flight at constant speed, thrust exactly equals drag and lift exactly equals the weight or gravity force. How does this apply to everyday living in 2016, 2015 was a trying year for many, it was a year of change and repositioning but it was necessary for what will take place in 2016.  In 2016 there will be uncommon favour, there will be a quantum leap but for this to take place there will be opposing forces but you have to know when to stand still and when to move. Last year when I was on the plane travelling to Jamaica, it moved from the terminal and it started moving towards where it would lift off. I noticed we had to wait for a few minutes then the plane started moving really fast then we were in the air .  

What am I saying there will be some opposing forces that will try to come at you, I can feel it even now as I am typing this that some of you are facing opposition, be of good cheer you are being positioned for lift off. That is what will happen in this year, you may feel like things are still going  slow but you are being positioned for lift off. For favour to shine bright in your life, things have to be shaky that’s the only way God can get the glory. In this season, no one can get the glory for what is about to happen in your life. You have to be really careful as to who you connect with in this season as they cannot get the glory for your acceleration. So I hereby declare to you On Your Mark, Get Set, and Accelerate.

God Bless You and Thank You For Reading.

Take The Labels Off

Label Pic

During my journey, last year November the Lord asked me who are you? I said to the Lord You know who I am, You created me. But He kept asking me ‘who are you? So I took pen and paper and I started writing and what came after that blew my mind. I was shocked that this was what God thought of me. I know He loves me but He started to reveal to me what His idea of me was according to His word. It was defining moment for me.  After this, I heard Him say ‘Take the labels off’.

After this, I realised that oftentimes when in a new environment or when you have been through a lot of adversity, people have a way of labelling you based on where you are, or where you have been. I realise that when people do not understand you, they tend to put a label on you in order to accommodate their small capacity to handle you. I realised that throughout my teenage years, I was walking around with these labels. Before I go any further, I want to explore the definition of labels.

Labels- “A classifying phrase or name applied to a person or thing, especially one that is inaccurate or restrictive”.

This definition is very relevant to this topic. Two words in this definition stand out ‘Inaccurate and Restrictive’. Labels are often inaccurate because labels are often rooted in gossip or rumours about a person. Sometimes the individual being labelled has no idea what is being said about them. But words are spiritual and death and life are in the power of the tongue. Words spoken good or bad has the ability to attach themselves to a person’s life. That is why you have to consistently pray against every word spoken against you in judgement as stated in Isaiah chapter 54v17. For something to be inaccurate, it is false, anything that is spoken over your life that is contrary to the word of God, is inaccurate. To restrict is to impose restrictions on someone’s activities or freedom. When I think of the word restrict, I think of a prison and a bolted box.

This is what labels do to a person; because they are false it puts a person in a mental prison that stops them from being productive. What labels do to a person, they tell that person that they can only go so far. For example, a person who grew up in a single parent home can only go so far, this child is not expected to excel however I thank God there are so many people in society today including myself who have disproved this theory ( first in the immediate family Glory to God). Another example is, ‘you are a woman, women are not supposed to….. and I will let those who read this finish the sentence because there are so many things that we have heard in that sentence. I am a woman, so I have heard many limited views on what I could or could not do. Or ‘you are single so you cannot…. You will never go anywhere in life.  I think you get the idea now. If you have walked around with similar labels, I want you to write them out then burn those labels and replace those labels with what God has said about you.

I realised that throughout my teenage years, I was walking with the labels that people had placed on me, and I already mentioned a few in the last paragraph.

Last year November was when God started talking to me about my identity, He took me on a journey of self discovery and He started to reveal to me His perspective of me. I came to realise that all of the hard trials I had gone through, it has brought out and unleashed an anointing in me which has released gifts that I had no idea was on the inside of me. The labels placed upon me were also good labels such as ‘I can see you as a Pastor, First lady, and warrior. The truth is people may have seen all these qualities in me but I recognised that my true identity came from His word. Those were just titles but my identity is not found in what I do. My identity is not in my business, it is not in what I do, it is found in the word, and in God’s word are His thoughts towards me. In my journey, God had to strip me of everything that I was so that I could become what He has called me to be and this is a journey, it takes a lifetime and eternity to become who God has destined for you to become.

I have found that if you do not know who you are, there are people who will try to label you to fit into their little box of who they think you should be.

The Lord used the example of David and Saul in 1Samuel 17v38-39, when David was getting ready to fight Goliath, and Saul attempted to put his armour on David. The Lord revealed to me that the armour can be used as a representation of the labels people will try to put on you. But David identified that He could not wear Saul’s armour because he had not proved it. David could only prove God’s word. That was a defining moment for David. You see you cannot use someone else’s armour and win. Your victory is hidden in you discovering your identity and your uniqueness. When you know who and whose you are, you will become unstoppable. Impossibilities will be made possible. Labels weigh you down. Labels block your ability to be creative because it restricts you to be and do certain things. Labels make you feel like you cannot aim higher than where you are. It chokes out every potential and it releases limitations over the lives of those who allows it to. Your journey to destiny begins when you start peeling away the labels. Labels tell you how far you can go and how much you can do. But God who created you and He  knows your beginning to your end and He is calling you into the realm where impossibilities are made possible. So I dare you to take the labels off and step into your potentiality.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

Exchange Your Garments for God’s Glory

Glory Pic

Throughout the scriptures, we often read about those who had gone through the hardest of times, and after breaking through, they are commanded to change their clothes or their names. We have Joseph who after going from the pit to prison, when the call came for him to go before Pharaoh, we read in Genesis chapter 41, that he shaved himself and he had put on new clothes. We have Abram, after stepping out by faith to God’s instruction; he experiences a name change in Genesis 17v5 from Abram to Abraham and Jacob in Genesis 35v10 whose name was changed from Jacob to Israel. We read in the book of Ruth chapter 3v3, where Naomi instructs Ruth to wash herself, change her clothes and anoint herself.

In Zechariah chapter 3v4, we read about Joshua standing before the angel with filthy garments and the angel says in verse 4 that he will clothe Joshua with a change of raiment, which means clothing. This blog has been inspired by an anointed woman of God called Pastor Enid Stewart, she preached about ‘Changing Your Garment for the Exchange of His Glory’.  This message resonated in my spirit so much that the Lord led me to research the meaning of Glory. Seeing that this is my favourite word, I was excited but trying to figure out what the word Glory had to do with clothing. Upon researching the word glory, I found that there are many interpretations of Glory from the Greek and the Hebrew translations. I will not bore you with all of the words but I will use one from the Hebrew and one from the Greek;  in the Old Testament, one of the words used to describe Glory is kabod which means to be heavy or abundant. In the Greek, glory is interpreted as doxa which means the opinion/perception of God. I discovered that in the Old Testament, the concept of glory falls into three main areas. Firstly, in terms of volume, glory can be interpreted as the sheer notion of weight. This can be extended into the concept of presence whether it is through swelling, cloaking or sheer inherent magnificence. And thirdly, the notion of praiseworthiness, shining or brilliance described as glory.

So the principle basis of glory in the Hebrew is the weight or immensity of something. On the other hand, the Greek word for glory (doxa) speaks to the perception of something as being good. So when God’s glory is on you, He sees you as good no matter what may be happening in your life in this present time or what you may have done in the past. So what has glory got to do with changing your clothing? The Lord used the symbol of clothing to speak to me concerning my identity. Clothing in this context represents the opinion and the labels that people have put on me based on my past and present circumstances. You see, the Greek meaning for Glory is doxa which is the opinion of God, He told me to begin to exchange my garment of man’s opinion and replace it with the opinion of God. As I began to do this, there was a confidence that came over me, which I will now call ‘Godfidence’ that whatever He says about me and whatever He tells me to do, I can do it.

To carry the glory of God, this means that you carry the opinion of God, which in turn creates an atmosphere for God’s presence, because every time you open up your mouth, He has no other choice but to show up because you are His opinion, every time that you open up your mouth, you speak His opinion. Where do you find God’s opinion? You find God’s opinion in the Bible and spending time in His presence.  When you change your garments that is when God can present you before His people to carry out the assignment that is on your life. As long as you continue to walk in the old garments of people’s labeling and  opinions of you, you will never truly discover who you are in God and what you were created to do. So I encourage you today to change your garments and make an exchange for the glory (doxa) of God. God bless you and thank you for reading…..