Dealing With Rejection In The Church (Part 2)

Rejection Poster 2

“A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success”- Bo Bennett

Below are a few points on dealing with rejection in the church;

1.Understand that rejection is redirection and relocation to your new place of purpose and destiny- Joseph’s brothers rejected him and that rejection led him to the pit which ushered him to Pharaoh’s palace.

2. Sometimes God will allow rejection to happen to redirect your focus to God as your only source.

3. When rejection happens in the church (the people), it is an indication that what you are carrying is far too big for the reject-er to handle. Healing from rejection starts when you realise that the same people who have rejected you may  have also been rejected.

4. Healing begins when you start to experience the unconditional love of God through His word and worship.

5. Healing begins when you accept the rejection- accepting that the rejection has taken starts the healing process and you will start to see that  the issue does not lie with you but the issue lies with the reject-er. Please note that acceptance of the rejection is different to reacting to the rejection.

6. Healing from rejection within the church starts when you stop reacting to it- my mentor said to me a few years ago that rejection is not valid if you are chasing the person who has and is rejecting you- it is when you keep reacting to their rejection- that is when the pain of rejection is birthed .

7. Accept that the person does not have the capacity to love you- they cannot give you what they do not have and that is when you will get the power to love again.

8. Understand that the church (the people) is not perfect. Everyone is wounded and hurt in some type of way. The Church is like a hospital, everyone who visits the hospital has an ailment and it is the same with the church, everyone who attends has an ailment in their spirit, soul and body and have come to see the chief physician which is Jesus Christ for their healing.

9. Disappointment in the form of rejection happens when you place unrealistic expectations on others and when you are looking for approval from people instead of God; no one can love you or accept you like God can.

10. Remember that you have been rejected for a purpose and that Jesus loves you.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

 

 

 

Dealing With Rejection In The Church (Part 1)

For the past few weeks I have been writing on rejection, what it is, the characteristics of rejection, fear of rejection and self rejection. I wrote on the fact that when rejection happens, it is because the environment that you are looking to for acceptance is incapable of handling the greatness that is on the inside of you.

I would like to focus on rejection in the church. There are so many wounded souls within the church and there are so many who have left the church because they have been rejected by leaders and others who have been set to watch over and protect them. I am writing this blog to all those who have suffered rejection in the one place that you expected to be accepted- The Church.

So who and what is The Church?

The Church is commonly defined as a building used for public worship; many people refer to the church as an organisation- but the word church in the bible comes from the Greek word Ecclesia which means a called out company or assembly- whenever the word church is used in the bible, it is referring to people- 1 Corinthians 1v2. So when I am talking about being rejected in the church, I am talking about being rejected by the people who are the church not God- you see Jesus’ love for you is unconditional and nothing that you do could ever make God reject you or stop loving you.  One thing that helped my healing process from rejection was that;

The Rejecter has also been rejected

I see a cycle within the body of Christ, there are so many leaders who have been rejected by their spiritual fathers, that has created this vicious cycle of rejection. What we have are rejected spiritual sons and daughters turning into spiritual mothers and fathers who are now rejecting their spiritual sons and daughters. It takes a level of maturity and getting into a place of revelation to see the spirit behind rejection within the church. The result of this type of rejection is that there are spiritual sons and daughters who have and are still walking around not understanding their identity and looking to other spiritual fathers/mothers for the spiritual validation that should have been given to them by their spiritual fathers.

Solution

The solution to this is seeking God and discovering what God is saying about you- your identity and purpose is found in God and oftentimes, I believe that God will purposely hide your call and assignment from the man of God. I am not saying this is always the case because the man of God is set to guide, guard and protect you. However, God does not always reveal everything to the man of God concerning you. I experienced this is in my personal life, I could not understand why my spiritual father at the time could not see what God was telling me about my purpose and destiny- my purpose got so intense that I could barely sleep or eat. I had to step outside of the boat and with that decision came rejection.

Was I upset? yes, I was on the verge of bitterness especially when I had dealt with my natural father not being in my life throughout my teenage years but in my metamorphosis process, God began to show me that rejection meant redirection and where I was positioned at the time, my environment could no longer accommodate the greatness that I was carrying on the inside of me. I started to love and appreciate my leaders from my past as, if they had accepted me and approved of me, I would have remained in the same place; I recognised that my leaders may have also experienced rejection at some point in their lives and may not have noticed that they were passing on the same treatment. I started seeing God’s hand in the rejection. The rejection was just a vehicle that was transporting me to my place of purpose and destiny.

God bless you and thank you for reading 

 

Rejected For Purpose 

  
For the last three weeks, I have dealt with the pain of rejection, the fear of rejection and the characteristics of self rejection. I wrote in my previous blogs that rejection leads to the fear of rejection and self rejection. When an individual experiences rejection, they go through life guarding themselves from future rejection and they do this by building walls which keeps other people out of their lives. The other manifestation of rejection is self rejection- because of the rejection experienced, you think something is wrong with you so you start rejecting your self and if not dealt with, it starts to lead to other areas such as depression, addiction and suicide.

In this article, I want to focus on the fact that you are rejected for purpose. Throughout my experiences of rejection, I have learnt a few things;

  • Rejection is God’s protection
  • Rejection is a direct indication that you have now outgrown your environment and it is now time to move to your next dimension.
  • Rejection is an indication that there is greater in you and better for you.
  • Rejection is an indication that what is inside of you, the people in your environment do not have the capacity to handle what is on the inside of you. 

When I think of rejection, the analogy that comes to me is that of a baby in a mother’s womb, when it is time for that baby to come forth, the womb rejects the baby because the baby has outgrown its environment. In the scriptures, we see many people who have suffered rejection but we see how their rejection has worked for a greater good. 

Jesus

At Jesus’s birth there was no room for Mary to give birth at the inn (Luke 2:7), so Mary had to give birth to Jesus in a manger. In the manger, animals, tools and agricultural produce were stored. Jesus’ birth was not perfect yet he became the saviour of the world. Jesus was rejected by His own people, His very own people came together and had Him crucified- they chose Barrabas to be freed and Jesus to be crucified. But Jesus’ death had purpose because three days later He rose from the dead and it is because of His sacrifice and because of the blood of Jesus we have full access to God and His grace. The rejection of Jesus had and still has  purpose (Psalm 118:22).

Jephthah  

In Judges chapter 11:1, the bible describes Jephthah as a mighty man of valour. It also says that Jephthah was the son of a harlot(prostitute). His father’s wife had more sons and they threw him out because of who his mother was. Have you ever been rejected because of who your mum or your dad was? I have- but God saw it fit to use Jephthah to conquer the children of Ammon (Judges 11:32-33).

Joseph

Joseph was rejected by his brothers because he had favour with his father and he had a dream. They plotted to kill him and instead they threw him in the pit and sold him to the Ishmaelites for 30 pieces of silver- yet these series of events led him to becoming the ruler of Egypt and providing strategies and solutions for a famine that was getting ready to hit Egypt and he was able to save his brothers and his father.

There is a purpose to your rejection. You have been rejected because what you are carrying on the inside of you is far too big for the environment that you are in.  Rejection happens when you put the responsibility of accepting and loving you on other people who are incapable of handling the true essence of who you are. 

When God’s Hand Is On You

One of the attributes of knowing God’s hand is on you is rejection. When God’s hand is upon you, you will be misunderstood. What people do not understand, they tend to reject. If there is no purpose to a relationship, God will allow rejection in order for you to experience better. At this point in my life, I recognise that rejection is a perception issue. Rejection is often perceived not always intended by the person who you have been rejected by nevertheless it still hurts. You see, it will hurt for a while, but you will see the purpose behind your pain.

To conclude, I want you to know that you have been rejected for a purpose. Open up your heart and receive the love that God has for you. Rejection is painful but rejection actually acts as a catalyst that propels you into discovering your purpose and destiny (O.J. Toks- Rejected For A Purpose). True healing starts when you start to realise that you have been rejected for purpose. If you would like to connect, you can email me on Dahna.fearon@releaseme.org.uk. 

God bless you and thank you for reading

The Characteristics Of Self Rejection 

  
Last week I dealt with the characteristics of someone dealing with the fear of rejection. This week I will be dealing with the characteristics of one who is experiencing or who has experienced self rejection. Self rejection is another product of rejection by others. When a person accepts rejection from another, they buy into the lie that they are unworthy of acceptance by themselves- self rejection therefore releases other negative emotions.

Hurt

 When hurt presents itself, the person who is now rejecting themselves, they now feel like they have done everything wrong. In my teenage years I struggled with a lot of hurt. I was aggressive but I was extremely sensitive. By the age of 15-18 years old I struggled with hurt so much that I used to tell myself everyday that I hated me. The hurt I endured in my home and in my childhood made me wish I did not exist. With this came low self esteem.It’s in my mid 20’s that I noticed that this hurt was acting as a blockage to my next level of success and breakthrough. In my teen years to my early 20’s every time I was in the  presence of authoratative figures, I had the feeling of unworthiness and I always felt like “I did something wrong”. It was with this self sabotaging trait that I attracted certain people that had no business being apart of my life and speaking into my life. The minute I starting grasping a sense of who I am, I started shutting some doors on relationships that no longer meant me any good. 

Self Pity

This is the “poor me” syndrome with self pity, one becomes conscious and aware of their inadequacies; they start having the perspective that no one seems to understand or care what is happening to them. I had moments of pity throughout my adolescent years and early adulthood, I started focusing more on what I was weak at rather than what I was good at. But In December 2012, that started to change when I discovered the book ‘The Purpose Driven Life’ that my teacher gave me. I started becoming aware of my purpose and the passions that were buried deep within me. Upon this discovery I stopped focusing on ‘me’ and started looking for those who I was called and purposed to help. This has and is still a journey. Self pity still tried to get me some days but the key is honing in and focusing on your strengths.

Despair

Another word for hopelessness. Despair happens when a person has totally rejected themselves; they cannot see themselves as capable of being loved by others, so they reject the love others are trying to give them. They find it hard to receive gifts and acts of kindness. Despair then leads to a hopeless state of mind. I struggled with the idea of being loved especially after what happened to me when I was 12 years old. So I shut the doors to potential relationships. With that I still believed that I was being processed so I wasn’t available but I still felt unworthy of love because of the many times I was rejected. There weren’t a lot of offers but there was one, I almost missed it because I felt unworthy of his love. God has delivered me, it’s a process. 

Depression

Depression comes with self rejection- this is where the person resigns themselves to the fact that they are useless. Depression then becomes a very thick wall around one that does not  come down easily. For years I struggled with depression, I hid it perfectly with my makeup and beautiful outfits and shoes. From 2014 to now, God has delivered me, there are days when it tries to come back but with persistence in prayer praise and worship and being involved in fulfilling my purpose, depression has had to take a back seat. I am sensitive to the fact that not everyone deals with depression this way, so get the necessary help that you need from counsellors and faith leaders i.e. pastors, elders, ministers etc. 

Isolation

With hopelessness, self rejection leads to the withdrawal from society. There is the preconceived notion that society will never miss you because you have nothing to contribute to it. 

Suicide

Suicide then becomes the ultimate withdrawal. At this stage, there is a desperation that happens that they develop an underlying death wish. Suicide is the ultimate ego trip. Once a person has rejected themself, they are turned in at this point and total attention is on self- they become their own God, even at the point of making the decision to take their own life. At the age of 13, I wanted to end my life but I failed when I felt God’s presence cover me and I heard His voice say it’s not your time to die. When I look at my life now I realise that I was making a permanent decision in a temporary situation. That negative situation will not last forever. God has great plans for you. He has thoughts of peace and not of evil. He plans to give you hope in your final outcome (Jeremiah 29:11 AMP). 

You see the fear of rejection is aggressive so a person who has accepted rejection will show the  physical manifestations of what is happening internally. Whilst self rejection is passive and  is therefore internalised. I want everyone who will read this to know that Jesus loves you and as I write this I feel the burden in your heart, Give it to God He is waiting for you to give it to Him. If you don’t believe in Him, He is waiting to accept you.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

This study on rejection was sourced via http://www.isob-bible.org

The Fear Of Rejection 

  

Last week I wrote about what rejection is and the different forms of rejection. I dealt with the fact that when a person accepts the wound of rejection in their lives, it generates the fear of rejection and self rejection. In this article, I will be  dealing with the characteristics of the fear of rejection.

When a person is wounded by rejection, they recoil at the prospect of being wounded again. The characteristics of the fear of rejection are as follows;

  • Anger

Anger always follows closely behind fear. When a person accepts rejection, they become dependent upon anger as it becomes an excellent barrier to protect them from future rejection of others. This was something I struggled with for years, when I just migrated from Jamaica especially after I was sexually assaulted at the age of 12, I had outbursts of anger, I always got in major arguments on the estate I lived on, and there were times I was close to getting into physical fights. I never fought the girls it was the guys that I went after. When someone would upset me I created a movie in my mind as to how I would make them pay. The metamorphosis that I have just been through took care of the anger that I carried for so many years, God gave me the opportunity to exchange my pain with His peace and love.

  • Hardness

Hardness is another defence mechanism that keeps people away. It’s this “I can do bad all by myself” attitude but deep down inside there is a cry for someone to love you. I experienced this and it took the circumstances of life to bring me to a place of surrender and my prayer became that of Ezekiel 36:26-27. I started asking God to give me a new heart and a new spirit and this is where God started the process of healing.

  • Bitterness

This is where you get bitter  about the situation in which you were wounded. Anger left unattended will start to generate a root of bitterness.

  • Rebellion

Rebellion is an outward expression caused by an inner feeling of rejection. The society that we are now living in where the youth are being classed as rebellious, where a lot of false religions and occultic movements are on the rise are. as a result of rejection. Today’s generation is the fruit of the decisions of yesterday’s generation. Because the older generation have not sought out help to deal with their issues of rejection, it has just been passed down throughout their generations. What this root of rejection has birthed are people suffering with all types of addictions, self harming, joining groups that only seek to manipulate and control and cares nothing about their wellbeing. What this root of rejection has birthed is a generation of people who no longer has a sense of purpose and if they do these wounds act as a barrier to them fulfilling their purpose. Because of this, today’s new age movement, satanic worshippers and cults are able to recruit these people dealing with the wounds of rejection. That is why we have people who have tasted and have witnessed the awesome power of the Holy Ghost just turn away from the church and renounce the name of Jesus, this is what the root of rejection is doing to those who experience it. When the fear of rejection has established a stronghold in a person, they will start to reject others before being rejected themselves. This attitude generates an inability to receive love or to love others. And from this grows rebellion.

  • Addiction

A person can become an addict when they have experienced rejection and when they are unsuccessful in their attempt to reconnect to a loving relationship, they anesthetise their pain, this can be through drugs, sex, self destructive habits such as self harming, eating disorders and many more habits. You see when love is denied somebody, the door is open for satan to step in. 

I pray that these points have helped you identify what happens when a person has the fear of rejection. It is my prayer that God will heal every wound of rejection that may have manifested in one of these characteristics. Know that God loves you and that He accepts you. He died for you and He is waiting to deliver you and heal you of your wounds but He can only do this if you let Him in. 

God bless you and thank you for reading.

This study on rejection was sourced via http://www.isob-bible.org

On Your Mark Get Set & Accelerate 

  

Still focusing on the subject of acceleration, I am truly excited about the acceleration that is about to take place in the lives of many this year. The Lord started dealing with me on the principles and the laws of physics relating to acceleration, so He had me researching what has to happen in order for a plane to lift off and fly. An airplane in flight is the centre of a continuous tug of war between four forces:

  • Lift
  • Gravity force or weight
  • Thrust
  • Drag 

Lift and drag are considered aerodynamic forces because they exist due to the movement of the aircraft through the air. The weight pulls down on the plane opposing the lift created by air flowing over the wing. Thrust is then generated by the propeller and opposes drag caused by air resistance to the frontal area of the airplane. During takeoff, thrust must overcome drag and lift must overcome the weight before the airplane can become airborne.  When the plane is in level flight at constant speed, thrust exactly equals drag and lift exactly equals the weight or gravity force. How does this apply to everyday living in 2016, 2015 was a trying year for many, it was a year of change and repositioning but it was necessary for what will take place in 2016.  In 2016 there will be uncommon favour, there will be a quantum leap but for this to take place there will be opposing forces but you have to know when to stand still and when to move. Last year when I was on the plane travelling to Jamaica, it moved from the terminal and it started moving towards where it would lift off. I noticed we had to wait for a few minutes then the plane started moving really fast then we were in the air .  

What am I saying there will be some opposing forces that will try to come at you, I can feel it even now as I am typing this that some of you are facing opposition, be of good cheer you are being positioned for lift off. That is what will happen in this year, you may feel like things are still going  slow but you are being positioned for lift off. For favour to shine bright in your life, things have to be shaky that’s the only way God can get the glory. In this season, no one can get the glory for what is about to happen in your life. You have to be really careful as to who you connect with in this season as they cannot get the glory for your acceleration. So I hereby declare to you On Your Mark, Get Set, and Accelerate.

God Bless You and Thank You For Reading.

Pregnant With A Dream (Part 2)- The Birth

  
In my last blog, I dealt with being pregnant with a dream and I compared it to a woman being pregnant with a child. When it comes to bringing forth your dream, it can be compared to childbirth. There needs to be conception (a prophetic word or vision), an incubation period (waiting) and the birth process (bringing forth the dream).  During the time of waiting is where preparation takes place for the arrival of the baby and the maintenance of the expecting mother (the carrier of the dream). The process of labour and birth can be divided into three stages. When I say mother I am metaphorically speaking to both men and women as there are men carrying dreams too. The birthing process is a metaphor for bringing forth your dream.
Stage One

 Stage one begins when you start having contractions that cause progressive changes in a woman’s cervix and ends when the woman’s cervix is fully dilated. This stage is divided into two phases:

1) Early labour- the woman’s cervix gradually effaces (thins out) and dilates (opens)

2) Active Labour- the woman’s cervix begins to dilate more rapidly and contractions are larger, stronger and closer together. The last part of active labour is often referred to as transition. This is where the womb starts to reject the child. Have you been rejected in an environment that can no longer contain or maintain your dream? In transition, there is a lot of pain that is present, but the purpose of the pain is to usher you into your destiny. Have you been in pain lately? Has your situation intensified? Do you feel overwhelmed, flustered? Do you feel like what you have been carrying on the inside of you is about to explode? It is like something wants to come out. I am here to declare to you that you are about to give birth to your dream. 

Do you feel like when you are finished with one circumstance, another one comes? Do you feel like you are in a whirlwind of chaos and you don’t know how you are coming out? If your answers are yes to these questions, then this blog is for you. The purpose of this blog is to shift your perspective from your pain to your promise and to let you know that in actuality what you are experiencing are contractions. Every crisis is a contraction; the contraction is there for the things holding you back. It positions the mother’s body and prepares her to give birth. Transition ends labour- the suffering stops finally and this is the only time to do nothing but wait- it seems like nothing is happening. In this stage, you must not try to confess or pray or do anything.

Stage Two

The second stage of labour, begins when you are fully dilated and ends with the birth of your baby (dream). This is referred to as the “pushing stage”. Perseverance and consistency is needed – you cannot give up hope, you have to see yourself in possession of it. This is the most difficult part of childbirth- things get worse before they get better. It cannot be avoided- you will always go through this stage before your provision comes in relation to your dream. It is at this stage where it seems like your dream will never arrive- but you cannot give up hope or let go off your faith. Your dream will come to past suddenly when you least expect it- this usually happens when you finally give up trying to make it happen. When you let go off of yourself, then God will take the rest. It is important to understand that when you are pregnant with a dream, you cannot push too early and the baby cannot stay in the womb past the due date as premature and over due delivery of the baby can be detrimental to mother and baby so timing is key when it comes to the delivery of your dream.  

When it comes to the birthing of your baby (dream), your environment and the people you are surrounded by are important for the birthing of your dream. Not everyone can be with you when you are in the delivery room. You have to be in a sterile environment and you have to be surrounded by qualified midwives and doctors and the ones you love, whether it’s your mother or your spouse or your best friend; when it comes to giving birth to your dream, haters are not welcomed in this miraculous moment, it is important to discern who your spiritual midwives are. The next thing to consider is the ability to listen. The expecting woman cannot just push the baby out, you have to listen to the instructions of your midwife- your inability to listen to your midwife will result in  harm to you as the the mother and the baby especially the mother. 

The Birth Experience

This is the most pleasant part- things get better finally. It requires no effort and it happens naturally. The process of cutting the umbilical cord is vital to keeping the baby alive- you could lose your provision at this point. This process involves cutting the baby loose- you have to release your dream into the earth. This requires you letting go off the baby. This is when you rest in the Lord’s provision and stopping all efforts.

Stage Three

The third stage begins right after the birth of the baby and ends with the delivery of the placenta. I call this the after birth. Oftentimes when we give birth to our dreams we forget the after birth and that there is postpartum care that must take place. Here you experience after pains during the first few days after delivery. I call this warfare. So literally hiding in the presence of God is what needs to happen here. I pray that whatever stage you are in carrying your dream, I pray that you will carry it full term in Jesus Name Amen. God bless you and thank you for reading.

Reference

The Birthing Process by Andrea Dillon

The Stages Of Labour- http://www.babycentre.com

Overcoming Barriers To Stepping Out Into The Unknown- Part 2

In my last blog, I said that there are many barriers to stepping out into the unknown. But I decided to deal with three and those are;

Fear of the Unknown
Fear of other people’s opinions
Fear of failure

I dealt with the first barrier to stepping out into the unknown and that was fear of the unknown. So the next barrier I would like to deal with is the fear of other people’s opinions.

Fear Of Other People’s Opinions

This was one of my biggest fears. Stepping out into the unknown was scary but exciting at the same time. When I took my first step to leaving my familiar surroundings, there was one thing that slowed down my progress. I was constantly concerned about what other people were thinking about me. It was so bad that my mentors at the time confronted me about it and I had to admit it that I was actually concerned about what others thought of me and my journey. It was so bad that it almost cost me my destiny. That changed when God asked me the question’ Who Are You?’. When He told me who I was in His eyes, the desire to please others just disappeared. I now developed a Godfidence that is what I call it, it is a God kind of confidence. The root of people pleasing stems from insecurities and rejection, the constant need to be approved by others. I recognised this in myself that throughout my childhood nothing was ever good enough in my home and where I attended church for a period of time. There was a constant pressure to be perfect and it was in November when God started to reveal these flaws to me. That season was a ‘river Jordan experience’, this was where all of the not so nice things started coming to the surface. I overcame this barrier by spending more time with the Lord and reading His word concerning my life. I spent more time in worship, I worked out which had an effect on my mental and emotional health. I posted affirmations around my apartment and on my bathroom mirror. So everyday I was empowering myself in God’s word to be who He had called me to be. The result of this was I stopped worrying about what others thought of me. It is a beautiful feeling when you no longer focus on the negative opinions of others.

Fear of Failure

The third barrier is the fear of failure. I believe everyone at some point in their life will experienced this. Everyone at some point including me have failed in one way or the other. I read this a while ago and it said, “failure is success turned inside out”. Failure is just an opportunity to learn something that you never knew before. I had so many moments in my journey when I said to God, please don’t let me fail but I now look at failure in a different way. Failure is my opportunity to learn something new. Some of my greatest lessons came from my experiences of failures and mistakes. I relied and still rely on 2 Corinthians 12:7-9. God’s grace is sufficient for me. The Lord took me to Matthew chapter 25:14-30, this is about the servants who received the five, two and one talents. When you read from verse 24-30, you see that the servant with the one talent did not multiply his talents because he was afraid. Verse 30 shows us the end result for this servant. God is not asking you to be perfect, He just wants you to say yes. God likes risk takers, just like Peter in Matthew 14:24-31, he stepped out of the boat and even though he started sinking, God was there to catch him. Do not be afraid of failing, even if you feel like you are going to fail, know that God will turn it for your good, Romans 8:28.

God bless you and thank you for reading

Overcoming The Barriers To Stepping Out Into The Unknown

  

In my last blog, I said that there are many barriers to stepping out into the unknown. But I decided to deal with three and those are;

  • Fear of the Unknown
  • Fear of other people’s opinions
  • Fear of failure

 I dealt with the first barrier to stepping out into the unknown and that was fear of the unknown. So the next barrier I would like to deal with is the fear of other people’s opinions. 

Fear Of Other People’s Opinions
This was one of my biggest fears. Stepping out into the unknown was scary but exciting at the same time. When I took my first step to leaving my familiar surroundings, there was one thing that slowed down my progress. I was constantly concerned about what other people were thinking about me. It was so bad that my mentors at the time confronted me about it and I had to admit it that I was actually concerned about what others thought of me and my journey. It was so bad that it almost cost me my destiny. That changed when God asked me the question’ Who Are You?’. When He told me who I was in His eyes, the desire to please others just disappeared. I now developed a Godfidence that is what I call it, it is a God kind of confidence. The root of people pleasing stems from insecurities and rejection, the constant need to be approved by others. I recognised this in myself that throughout my childhood nothing was ever good enough in my home and where I attended church for a period of time. There was a constant pressure to be perfect and it was in November 2014, when God started to reveal these flaws to me. That season was a ‘river Jordan experience’, this season was where all of the not so nice things started coming to the surface. I overcame this barrier by spending more time with the Lord and reading His word concerning my life. I spent more time in worship, I worked out which had an effect on my physical, mental and emotional health. I posted affirmations around my apartment and on my bathroom mirror. So everyday I was empowering myself in God’s word to be who He had called me to be. The result of this was I stopped worrying about what others thought of me. It is a beautiful feeling when you no longer focus on the negative opinions of others. And with this new attitude I was able to launch out into the deep.

Fear of Failure

The third barrier is the fear of failure. I believe everyone at some point in their life will experienced this. Everyone at some point including me have failed in one way or the other. The key is not to allow guilt and shame to cripple you. Failure will release guilt (what you have done) and shame (you define yourself by what you have done- Brene Brown). The key to overcoming this is to speak the word of God over your life. You are not defined by what you do, your identity is found in what God thinks and says about you. This does not change because of your failures and mistakes. You can find God’s thoughts in His word, the bible. 

I read this a while ago and it said, “failure is success turned inside out”. Failure is just an opportunity to learn something that you never knew before. I had so many moments in my journey when I said to God, please don’t let me fail but I now look at failure in a different way. Failure is my opportunity to learn something new. Some of my greatest lessons came from my experiences of failures and mistakes. I relied and still rely on 2 Corinthians 12:7-9. God’s grace is sufficient for me. The Lord took me to Matthew chapter 25:14-30, this is about the servants who received the five, two and one talents. When you read from verse 24-30, you see that the servant with the one talent did not multiply his talents because he was afraid. Verse 30 shows us the end result for this servant. God is not asking you to be perfect, He just wants you to say yes. God likes risk takers and transition allows you to do that- to take risks. Just like Peter in Matthew 14:24-31, he stepped out of the boat and even though he started sinking, God was there to catch him. Do not be afraid of failing, even if you feel like you are going to fail, know that God will turn it for your good, Romans 8:28. 

God bless you and thank you for reading

Overcoming The Barriers To Stepping Out Into The Unknown 

  

There are many barriers to stepping out into the unknown. The last time I blogged, I dealt with stepping out into the unknown and I used the example of Abraham in Genesis chapter 12 verse 1, where God told Him to leave His country and kindred (his relatives) and go to a place where He will show him. This was a word of direction as it was vague and not very clear. 

Like Abraham, I received a word of direction. In fact God gave me this scripture to confirm His word for me to step out into the unknown. I said yes to the Lord and I thought that because of my obedience , everything was going to be easy for me. But just a few months later after taking my first step, I noticed that I had a few barriers that I had to overcome before stepping into my place of destiny for this season. There were many barriers but the main barrier was fear. I experienced fear in three different areas and these were:

  • Fear of the unknown 
  • Fear of the opinions of man 
  • Fear of failure 

Everyone who goes through transition will face fear in these three different areas. The Israelites struggled with these barriers in the wilderness when they were getting ready to possess their promised land.

Fear Of The Unknown

Fear of the unknown is the fear of stepping out of your comfort zone. It is the fear of stepping out into unfamiliar territory. However there is a danger to this when transition presents itself in your life, it is the opportunity to step into a new dimension, a new level. Transition does not wait for no man. When an individual miss their call to transition, the next step after this is falling into a rut and a season of stagnancy and unproductivity. The Lord has had me working on a project so here is a little snippet into what He revealed to me. In Mark chapter 11, we read about the fig tree; Jesus saw a fig tree in verse 13, as He was hungry, He proceeded to take a fruit from the tree, but there was no fruit yet the tree had leaves. The scripture clearly states that the time of figs was not yet but Jesus cursed the tree. I said to the Lord that was harsh until I looked deeper I understand why. God showed me that though it was not time (chronus- chronological time) for the tree to bring forth, Jesus had showed up (Kairos moment- opportunity, a moment where God changes everything). This was a kairos moment for the tree to bring forth but it still did not. According to agriculture, when fig trees had leaves, this was a sign that there were going to be fruits. When there were leaves, there should have been little knobs on the tree that people could pick and eat.

So the fact that there were leaves and no knobs meant that the tree had potential but was not bringing forth. It is the same for us as believers. The opportunity to step out into the unknown is never convenient but it is necessary. God will not show up with this instruction when you expect Him to. He will require you to step out in inconvenient seasons of your life. But your entire future depends on it. When God told me to step out I was unemployed with no money. God has planted a seed of greatness on the inside of you and He will show up expecting fruit. Do not be like this tree who because it did not bare fruit it was cursed,  and cursed in this context is stagnancy, barrenness and unproductivity and if you are in this place of stagnancy, all you have to do is repent for your disobedience and say yes. That is all it takes for you to get back on track. Isn’t God great!!! So  I challenge you today, step out into the unknown. Fear and faith cannot operate at the same time so make an exchange with God and use His faith to step out into the unknown and God will move in a mighty way not just in your life but in your family and generations . It is my prayer that God will increase your faith and give you courage to step out into the unknown in Jesus Name I pray amen. I will deal with the other barriers in part two of this blog. 

God bless you and thank you for reading.