Strategy – Destiny Moments

The Anatomy of Choice and Desire

Last Thursday, I taught on the anatomy of choice and desire, and the focus scripture was taken from James 1:14-15. This passage of scripture outlines the process of the conception of sin and how sin goes from thought to action. Below are the phases I discussed during the live broadcast.

James 1:14-15 shows the stages from desire leading to the consequence of following through with the desire.

Desire > Thought > Action > Consequence

Phase 1 The Lure (Desire)– James 1:14 says, “But every man is tempted when he is drawn away by his own lust and enticed”. The Greek word for enticed is deleazō, which is a fishing term for bait. A fishing bait looks like a reward but hides the hook.

Phase 2 The Conception (Thought)– James 1:15 says, “Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin”. During the broadcast, I shared practical examples of what the conception looks like. The key here is to be aware of your triggers and put in place the necessary boundaries in place to stop the conception of sin being put into action. The conception stage looks like you, for example, knowing you are in heat but still going on that date and inviting your date back to your home. Here you start to rationalise the wrongdoing.

Phase 3 The Birth (Action)– James 1:15 says “It bringeth forth sin”- this is where your thoughts have moved from your mind to the external world by way of physical action.

Phase 4 The Full-Grown Result (Consequence) – “And sin when it is finished, bringeth forth death”.

This is the consequence of the sinful act. This can be spiritual death, death to a relationship, distance from the presence of God, opportunities, etc.

Through further studies, I taught on psychological frameworks, coupled with the scriptures, to overcome the cycle of unbridled desire and sin. This is known as the top-down approach

Step 1– Exposure of Truth- you have to name the temptation and desire that is trying to overpower you. In Psalm 139:23-24, David asks God to search and know his heart and his thoughts. We have to commit our hearts and minds to God.

Step 2– Replacement (Reframing) – Set your minds on things above, according to Colossians 3:2. Don’t suppress the desire, face it and acknowledge it and find something else to take your focus off the desire. Remember last week’s teaching: a feeling only lasts for 90 seconds; it is what you do with those 90 seconds that determines whether the feeling is prolonged or dissipates.

Step 3– Seek support- this step shows the importance of community and accountability. James 5:16 says, “confess your faults one to another”. This is what takes the power away from the temptation the enemy is trying to keep a hold over you.

This is just a brief outline of the cycle of sin and ways for you to overcome unyielding desires using the scriptures, and also paying attention to your personal decisions. Decisions decide. Dahna-Esther also prayed for those who are dealing with guilt and shame as a result of dealing with the cycle of sin.

Prayer: Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, Heavenly Father, thank You for showing me the stages of how sin is conceived and when acted upon, the consequences it carries. Father, I ask You to keep me from falling according to Jude 1 v 24. Father, I ask, release your grace to empower me to say no and to flee from the temptations of the enemy. Empower me in the Holy Ghost to avoid the traps of the enemy. Father, cast down every thought and imagination trying to conceive sin in my mind that can then lead to my actions. Lord wash me and cleanse me and create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me in Jesus Name, I pray, amen.

Watch the replay to Anatomy of Choice and Desire– https://bit.ly/4aEHoiq

The Process of Desire

Last Thursday’s live focused on desire, and the psychological makeup and source of our desires.

We learnt that the following parts of the brain are responsible for the accumulation of our desires.

Amygdala: The central hub in the limbic system which plays a critical role in processing emotional responses, such as fear, anxiety, and pleasure.
Ventral Tegmental Area (VTA) and Nucleus Accumbens: are key components of the brain’s reward system, releasing dopamine to drive motivation, pleasure, and desire (specifically “wanting” or “incentive salience”).
Prefrontal Cortex (PFC): is responsible for rational thought and executive function. During intense emotions like romantic love, the PFC can exhibit decreased activity, contributing to the, “love is blind” effect.
Insular Cortex: constantly monitors the body’s internal emotional state (interoception), bridging visceral sensations with cognitive, “feelings”.
Hypothalamus: often linked to basic desires like hunger and sexual drive.

I went further to teach on the neurochemistry of our emotions of desire and what chemical reactions are responsible for our various emotions;

Dopamine: The primary neurotransmitter associated with desire, motivation, and pleasure.
Serotonin: Regulates mood stability, with lower levels often associated with the obsessive thinking seen in early romantic love.
Oxytocin: Known as the, “bonding hormone,” it fosters trust and attachment.
Norepinephrine: Contributes to the euphoric and giddy sensations of romantic love.

This shows that there is an interrelation between your emotion and desire overlapping with the various parts of the brain. Research shows that thoughts are transmitted via neurotransmitters which triggers and changes feelings.

Thoughts > Emotions > Behaviours

Your feelings are the conscious, subjective experience of bodily sensations processed by the brain. The highlight of last week’s live for me was this piece of research I read where the thought feeling cycle generally only lasts for 90 seconds in the brain before the surge dissipates. I asked the question, how many people are making life changing, permanent decisions because of a 90 second feeling.

There are three phases and four elements that contribute to the thought feeling emotion desire cycle;

Phase 1: The Spark (Emotions & Desire)

Everything usually begins with a stimulus (external or internal). Your amygdala scans for threats or rewards. If it sees something it wants, it triggers Desire via the release of dopamine. This is a physiological “itch” that demands action.

Phase 2: The Interpretation (Feelings)

As your body reacts (increased heart rate, butterflies in the stomach), your Insular Cortex notices these physical changes. This is where an emotion (biological) becomes a feeling (mental). You label the sensation as “excitement,” “anxiety,” or “longing.”

Phase 3: The Narrative (Thoughts)

Your Prefrontal Cortex then tries to make sense of the feeling. It generates Thoughts to justify the desire: “I really need that coffee because I didn’t sleep well.” These thoughts can then loop back and amplify the original emotion, making the desire even stronger.

I can almost hear you say I appreciate all of this research but how do I manage my desires? – now that I know that my feelings and desire is not demonic, it is what I do with it that makes it a sin. Below I will share a few techniques coupled with scripture in how to regulate your desires with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) teaches us that by changing the thought, you can actually dampen the emotion and eventually reduce the desire. This is known as top-down thinking or cognitive regulation. This is the process where the pre-frontal cortex exerts control over lower level, impulsive emotional centres like the amygdala. Top-down strategies allow you to consciously reshape your internal experience.

I focused on one out of the four strategies- cognitive reappraisal. This is the most well studied and used top-down strategy. It involves deliberately changing the interpretation of a situation to alter its emotional impact. With this strategy, you identify the automatic thought that is fuelling your emotions and replace it with a more positive one. The impact on the brain is that this activates the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex which sends inhibitory signals to the amygdala which physically dampening the alarm.

In scripture, Philippians 4v8 (KJV) instructs us to think on “whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest. Whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things”. Romans 12:2 (KJV) says “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable , and perfect, will of God”.

So I challenge you, it is time to reconstruct some of those thoughts that has been impacting desires, especially the desires that have become unbridled and idolatrous leading to behaviours that don’t please God.

The second strategy I delved into was cognitive distancing- this technique is where in order to regulate a strong desire, one is encouraged to use distancing to view the situation from a detached perspective. Instead of saying “I want this” you say I am noticing the sensation of wanting”. You also start to imagine the long-term costs of giving rather than the short-term reward. James 1:14-15 outlines the consequence of sin after desire is conceived.

Prayer: Father in the name of Jesus Christ, Lord I thank You for this word and breakdown of how desire is formed in me. Father I commit my desires and my heart in your hand. Father God, regulate my heart to desire only what You have in store for me. Lord bridle my desires in You in the name of Jesus Christ. Father I pray help me to surrender my will, desires and emotions to you. As it is my thoughts that fuel my feelings, Lord I submit my thoughts to you and any thought or imaginations that is exalting itself against You oh Lord I cast it down in the name of Jesus Christ according to 2 Corinthians 10:5. Father, align my thoughts, feelings and desires with your word and I submit my flesh to You in the name of Jesus. Father I thank You that You have heard me in Jesus Christ Name I pray amen.

To watch the full teaching on Desire- Part 2 , click here https://bit.ly/4aOnUck

Dealing With Rejection In The Church (Part 2)

Rejection Poster 2

“A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success”- Bo Bennett

Below are a few points on dealing with rejection in the church;

1.Understand that rejection is redirection and relocation to your new place of purpose and destiny- Joseph’s brothers rejected him and that rejection led him to the pit which ushered him to Pharaoh’s palace.

2. Sometimes God will allow rejection to happen to redirect your focus to God as your only source.

3. When rejection happens in the church (the people), it is an indication that what you are carrying is far too big for the reject-er to handle. Healing from rejection starts when you realise that the same people who have rejected you may have also been rejected.

4. Healing begins when you start to experience the unconditional love of God through His word and worship.

5. Healing begins when you accept the rejection- accepting that the rejection has taken starts the healing process and you will start to see that the issue does not lie with you but the issue lies with the reject-er. Please note that acceptance of the rejection is different to reacting to the rejection.

6. Healing from rejection within the church starts when you stop reacting to it- my mentor said to me a few years ago that rejection is not valid if you are chasing the person who has and is rejecting you- it is when you keep reacting to their rejection- that is when the pain of rejection is birthed .

7. Accept that the person does not have the capacity to love you- they cannot give you what they do not have and that is when you will get the power to love again.

8. Understand that the church (the people) is not perfect. Everyone is wounded and hurt in some type of way. The Church is like a hospital, everyone who visits the hospital has an ailment and it is the same with the church, everyone who attends has an ailment in their spirit, soul and body and have come to see the chief physician which is Jesus Christ for their healing.

9. Disappointment in the form of rejection happens when you place unrealistic expectations on others and when you are looking for approval from people instead of God; no one can love you or accept you like God can.

10. Remember that you have been rejected for a purpose and that Jesus loves you.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

Dealing With Rejection In The Church (Part 1)

For the past few weeks I have been writing on rejection, what it is, the characteristics of rejection, fear of rejection and self rejection. I wrote on the fact that when rejection happens, it is because the environment that you are looking to for acceptance is incapable of handling the greatness that is on the inside of you.

I would like to focus on rejection in the church. There are so many wounded souls within the church and there are so many who have left the church because they have been rejected by leaders and others who have been set to watch over and protect them. I am writing this blog to all those who have suffered rejection in the one place that you expected to be accepted- The Church.

So who and what is The Church?

The Church is commonly defined as a building used for public worship; many people refer to the church as an organisation- but the word church in the bible comes from the Greek word Ecclesia which means a called out company or assembly- whenever the word church is used in the bible, it is referring to people- 1 Corinthians 1v2. So when I am talking about being rejected in the church, I am talking about being rejected by the people who are the church not God- you see Jesus’ love for you is unconditional and nothing that you do could ever make God reject you or stop loving you. One thing that helped my healing process from rejection was that;

The Rejecter has also been rejected

I see a cycle within the body of Christ, there are so many leaders who have been rejected by their spiritual fathers, that has created this vicious cycle of rejection. What we have are rejected spiritual sons and daughters turning into spiritual mothers and fathers who are now rejecting their spiritual sons and daughters. It takes a level of maturity and getting into a place of revelation to see the spirit behind rejection within the church. The result of this type of rejection is that there are spiritual sons and daughters who have and are still walking around not understanding their identity and looking to other spiritual fathers/mothers for the spiritual validation that should have been given to them by their spiritual fathers.

Solution

The solution to this is seeking God and discovering what God is saying about you- your identity and purpose is found in God and oftentimes, I believe that God will purposely hide your call and assignment from the man of God. I am not saying this is always the case because the man of God is set to guide, guard and protect you. However, God does not always reveal everything to the man of God concerning you. I experienced this is in my personal life, I could not understand why my spiritual father at the time could not see what God was telling me about my purpose and destiny- my purpose got so intense that I could barely sleep or eat. I had to step outside of the boat and with that decision came rejection.

Was I upset? yes, I was on the verge of bitterness especially when I had dealt with my natural father not being in my life throughout my teenage years but in my metamorphosis process, God began to show me that rejection meant redirection and where I was positioned at the time, my environment could no longer accommodate the greatness that I was carrying on the inside of me. I started to love and appreciate my leaders from my past as, if they had accepted me and approved of me, I would have remained in the same place; I recognised that my leaders may have also experienced rejection at some point in their lives and may not have noticed that they were passing on the same treatment. I started seeing God’s hand in the rejection. The rejection was just a vehicle that was transporting me to my place of purpose and destiny.

God bless you and thank you for reading

Dream Again

We have entered the year 2016 and many proclamations have been released for this awesome year. In my last blog, I wrote that 2016 is going to be a year of acceleration it is also the year of the Lord’s favour where you will get many things that you did not deserve and rules will be broken so that you can be blessed- I just said something right there Glory.

Just a few days before the ending of 2015, the Lord told me to tell two young ladies that it is time to Dream again. As I told the first individual to Dream again, something erupted in me and I started dreaming on a whole other level. God started giving me a new vision and new dreams. On January 3rd 2016, I had a dream about strategy and goals. These were the two words I heard and I woke up, not understanding what the Lord was saying but I noted it down. By January 5th 2016, the Lord said to me, “if you are expecting acceleration you need to prepare for it as it is not just going to come to you like that, you have to prepare and strategise for these things to happen. With those words I proceeded to create my vision board for 2016. As I started printing the pictures for my board, I became excited and energetic. Purpose and passion began fuelling on the inside of me. The Lord has inspired me to dream again and I am now daring you to dream again. Start dreaming on purpose, start creating your vision boards and journals, start writing the vision and make it plain (Habakkuk 2:2).

I want to encourage you to dream big this year. As it is the year of the Lord’s favour and acceleration, start thinking about what it is that you want God to do in your life this year. When you look at your board or journal, it should scare you; In other words dream big. So to everyone who will read this, I dare you to dream again.

God bless you and thank you for reading.

How Intelligent Are You?

I have been thinking a lot about my process and the major changes I have been through over the past few years then my memory of school days came flashing by. I thought of the many things that God had graced me to achieve and I also thought of moments of failure throughout my school years. I came across an article which is the inspiration for this blog (Association For Supervision and Curriculum Development- Thomas Armstrong) that I read in preparation for Release Me which was launched in October.

Have you ever been made to feel stupid at school because you could not work out an algebra problem or you could not spell a specific word? For me maths was not my strongest point so when I failed maths at GCSE level I was devastated when I had to redo mathematics for a whole year at college. Rather than focus on my strengths my weaknesses were magnified in school. Did you have this issue at school too. I would love to hear from you. But I discovered that psychologists have found that there are nine different types of intelligences. I will expand on each intelligences and you can figure out which one or more of these intelligences applies to you.

1)Naturalist Intelligence- this ability allows the human ability to discriminate among living things (plants,animals) as well as sensitivity to other features of the natural world (clouds, rock configurations).

2) Musical Intelligence- this intelligence is the capacity to discern pitch, rhythm, timbre, and tone. This intelligence allows one to recognise, create, reproduce and reflect on music, as demonstrated by composers, conductors, musicians, vocalist, and sensitive listeners.

3) Logical- Mathematical Intelligence(Number/Reasoning Smart)- mathematical intelligence is the ability to calculate, quantify, consider propositions and hypotheses, and carry out complete mathematical operations.

4) Existential Intelligence- sensitivity and capacity to tackle deep questions about human existence, such as the meaning of life, why do we die and how we get here.

5) Interpersonal Intelligence (People Smart)- interpersonal intelligence is the ability to understand and interact effectively with others. It involves verbal and non verbal communication and the ability to note distinctions among others, sensitivity to the moods and temperaments of others.

6) Bodily Kinesthetic Intelligence (Body Smart)- Bodily Kinesthetic intelligence is the capacity to manipulate objects and use a variety of physical skills.

7) Linguistic Intelligence (Word Smart)- linguistic intelligence is the ability to think in words and to use language to express and appreciate complex meanings.

8) Intra-personal Intelligence (Self Smart)- intrapersonal intelligence is the capacity to understand oneself and one’s thoughts and feelings, and to use such knowledge in planning one’s thoughts and feelings.

9) Spatial Intelligence (Picture Smart)- spatial intelligence is the ability to think in three dimensions. Core capacities include mental imagery, spatial reasonings, image manipulation, graphic and artistic skills, and an active imagination.

So the next time you feel inferior because you aren’t strong in a specific academic subject or in certain situations remember there are nine categories of intelligences and at least one applies to you.

God bless you all and thank you for reading.